Luxlila

Shyness...

One of my goals this Winter is to become less shy and more comfortable speaking up for myself. I talked about this before but I wanted to dive deeper into myself and understand where this shyness comes from.

I am naturally more introverted. I am aware that being introverted does not equal shyness, but I do enjoy being alone and hanging around people drains me.

Guys make me shy. I don't know why but they do. I am not shy around girls the way I am around guys. I think it's because I think they are super judgmental even though thats just an assumption.

Group settings triggers my shyness as well. I can have a 1 on 1 conversation with a stranger and do fine but put that stranger and I in a group setting, now I don't know how to act.

My shyness has definitely improved but I have a long way to go. And if you're wondering why this is important to me, it is because I see myself living a very fun and amazing life, and being shy and not knowing how to have a simple conversation with people is going to close more doors than open, so its important to me to overcome this.

Thats all,

Currently have a 3.5, pushing for a 3.7 gpa.

there’s no rule as to how big or how small you’re allowed to dream. if you just want a small home and an orange kitchen and four cats that’s just as reasonable of a goal to work for as a big new york penthouse. and if all you really want is a simplistic career that isn’t the center of your life then that’s just as valid as dreaming of becoming a famous fashion designer or ceo. i know everyone keeps urging you to dream big, but dreams can be as simple and small as you want. they’ll always be valid. you decide how you want to live and what kind of life you want, no one else.

Academic Goals

-graduate top of my class

-graduate with at least a 3.7 gpa

-get my first job (don't care if its working in the library or whatever, just want to get my first job ever before graduating college)

-doing more of what I love and finding new hobbies

-intern at a hospital

-NETWORK!! (make more friends in general/I have some but honestly I need more variety)

-try all the local restaurants/clubs

-study abroad

-make contacts with professionals in my desired industry

-connect more with professors (struggling at this right now)

-join clubs

-date more

Basically I expect myself to graduate at the top of my class, secure a job at some of the top hospitals in the US (shoot for the stars, why not the world) , and become healthier, hotter, and smarter, while working hard until I establish myself and eventually settle down and have kids.

Sounds a little bit delusional, but hey if I do not succeed, at least I tried

I keep telling myself I am going to give guys a chance, but every single time the opportunity presents itself I shut it down. I do not think it has anything to do with fear of intimacy at this point. I have so much going on right now with getting my degree, doing lab research, learning a new language, getting all 3 of my healthcare certification renewed, working out 5 days a week, etc, etc. I just do not have the time or the patience to entertain anyone right now. What's crazy is when I tell people that I never been in a relationship, and do not plan on being in one anytime soon, I get side eyed. But it's like I am so young, and I feel like I have all my life to fall in love and go on dates and do all that relationship stuff. Maybe I am missing out, maybe I'm not. But I do know that I am in a good place in my life and I am super excited for what the next couple of years of my life have in store in me.

Finally got back into reading.

Why do you always say that girls with less education can't make it into the most exclusive circles? I'm sure that at least a few women with no college education have married really rich or married up into royalty.

Here are six examples.

Emma Weymouth was head girl at her private school, graduated with honours, went on to University College London and got a degree in Art History, went on to study Art History, and was raised by a Nigerian billionaire and English socialite, is an heir to her father's estate and will be worth billions when he passes, and had a career in modelling far before she married and became the Marchioness of Bath.

Meghan Markle attended private school, graduated with honours, got accepted to Northwestern, joined Kappa Kappa Gamma, worked for the State Department, interned at the American Embassy in Buenos Aires, and graduated with a B.A. after having double majored in International Studies and Theatre.

Duchess Kate has a B.A. in Art History, she worked as an accessory buyer, she graduated with honours and was involved in a wide variety of activities and did a number of summer jobs, she fundraised for UNICEF, and she took a gap year to go on a study abroad trip. She had a career before, during, and after she met Prince William and married into the BRF. This is an absolutely indisputable fact.

Mary of Denmark graduated with a Bachelors of Commerce and a Bachelors of Laws and went on to complete a graduate program. She attended the University of Tasmania and had a successful career long before she married into the Danish Royal Family and had solid plans. She had an accomplished life.

Queen Rania has a degree from the American University in Cairo in Business Administration and worked for both Citibank and Apple before she married into the Jordanian Royal Family. She now advocates for causes like education, health, community empowerment, youth, cross-cultural dialogue and micro-finance. She was accomplished.

Queen Letizia of Spain has a B.A. in Journalism, an M.A. in Audiovisual Journalism, and partially completed her PhD. She worked for various news outlets and was extremely successful, she worked for CNN+, she broadcast from Ground Zero after 9/11, she did journalism from war zones, and she was absolutely beyond accomplished in her own right before she married into the Spanish Royal Family.

See what I'm getting at?

Flat out, It's not possible to marry an extremely wealthy and extremely high class man without higher education. It just doesn't work like that. This isn't even my opinion, this is pure knowledge. I know a Prince of the Emirates extremely well, almost in the biblical sense, he roomed at Eton with my older brother who's Saudi and one of the legitimised Grandsons of Ibn Saud. Anyway, the number one thing he always looked for in a woman was her education because he couldn't bring a woman home who didn't have an educational background. It just wasn't done, she needed to have something going on for her upstairs for her to be able to succeed in life.

It's completely delusional to assume that any man who's in certain circles or knows certain people would want to date or be able to date a woman who has no formal higher education. I mean this in the most brutal way possible, you can't be fucking stupid. Someone needed to tell you. There's a reason why all of the European sugar babies and trophy wives have degrees from like...Saint Petersburg State University and the University of Montenegro at Kotor Bay, it's because they know the facts and they want to better themselves educationally. There's nothing worse than not being able to have an educated conversation with someone because you're in different places in your journey towards education.

Hope you understand.

L <3