Mariana1963-blog - My Palace

ah, I better spend the quarantine somewhere in the small town in the south of France or Italy, bake bread, sunbathe on the balcony and live with my loved one

p.s: photos are not mine! If you know the owner, write me, please!

27 Sept ‘18 // Working in my college library this morn on some reading for my thesis. Cambridge is still yawning from the summer, weirdly quiet and gradually shading into myriad oranges. Michaelmas term officially resumes in a week, and the undergraduates start arriving in full force this weekend.

Day 1

I doubt anyone will read this but,

I’ve always envied people in studio ghibli movies and their ability to just enjoy the small things in life. I have recently decided to stop envying them and start living my life in a way that I enjoy. My bus ride seems less stressful and enjoying the scenery has brought me a sense of peace before class that nothing else has.

Banners and Fonts

Hello everyone! I decided to give you a sample of the banners and fonts I like to incorporate into my bullet journal. If you’d like to find more banner ideas, click [here]. If you’d like more font ideas, click [here]. 

(As a side note, I am human and make mistakes. I accidentally got distracted and misspelled “words” once. My apologies.) 

~Anime inspired moodboard~

If you are finding it difficult to focus and be productive (like me) then here is your inspiration. Now go study:D

day 2/100 days of productivity

did revision for my chem test in all my frees today, but still went shit haha.. this evening i’ve made some maths flashcards and a poster on matrices which i’ll put up on my wall with the rest of my further maths revision. pretty productive day all in all :)

How 2 semesters - 2500 pages - 5 exams in law school flashcards look like :’) they are the best tool for revision! I’m saving them for my bar exam as well. Would anyone want to see a post on how I organize them? Do you use flaschards? 💙 🎓 📖

Golden lockscreens

Reblog or like if you save, follow me for more lockscreens! 🌸 • Check out my shop ✨

Heat Waves

Fezco x Lexi - Euphoria

It’s been eight years. Eight years since that New Years Eve party.

Six years since she saw Him.

On the occasional visits to her mom’s house from L.A., Lexi always seemed to keep an eye out for that familiar Cadillac.

Honestly, she thought about Him a lot. They spent a lot of time with each other after she returned that green sweater. Countless drives around town when her mom was being too much. Countless smiles and laughs.

He would always look right into her soul when she spoke. Listening whole heartedly, no matter the topic or tangent.

He told her once that he loved the way she spoke. Full of passion and earnest.

She loved that about him. How he was always focused on her. Made her feel seen, for once.

Lexi let out a huff of air and fixed her hair, coming back to reality. Her sister invited her to this new club that opened last week in downtown. So here she was, sitting in the corner of a booth while Cassie was being the social butterfly she was.

She continued sipping on the wine she had gotten earlier and people watched like she always did.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a man with a red beard. She turned to get a clearer view. Short, cropped dark hair and a neatly trimmed beard.

No way.

He was walking closer, talking to a semi taller younger man. He turned and she noticed the scar. Even through the hair he had let grow a bit, it was still visible.

She fidgeted with the dress her sister convinced her to wear out. A dark purple bodycon dress with thin straps. Nothing like what she would normally wear.

Taking a deep breath, Lexi moved from her booth.

I’ll just happen to walk past them. Yeah, that’ll work. If he notices me, he notices me. If not then I’ll just go to the bathroom. Yep. Here we go!

Lexi held her head up as she made her way by. It felt like time slowed down the moment they passed each other. Her shoulder barely grazing his in the crowded room. She noticed in the mirrored wall across the room how he had turned his head a little before continuing his conversation. When she arrived at the bathroom, time sped back up to normal. She let out a breath she didn’t realize she had held.

Taking this moment of seclusion to check her reflection. Her once brown hair now dyed into a blonde balayage and up to her chin. She adjusted the soft waves of her hair a bit.

No longer did she look like the eighteen year old Fezco last saw. Twenty-five year old Lexi was different. Mostly.

So what if he didn’t say anything to me. I’m not even here for him. I’m here to get out of the house and have some fun. I’m going to go right back out there and-

As she opened the door, Lexi froze. Leaned against the wall across from her, Fezco looked up from the floor. A grin spreading across his face.

“I thought that was you,” Lexi couldn’t say anything for a minute after he spoke.

“Fez?” She asked, trying to control her voice. He nodded before pushing off the wall.

“Look at you all grown up, little Lex,” she blushed at his words, “What are you doing here?” He asked.

Lexi fully exited the bathroom and stood closer to him, to keep out the way of others of course. No other reason.

“I came with Cassie. She wanted to show me the new club that opened,” Lexi replied, not able to look away from the blue eyes focused on her.

“How do you like it so far?” He asked. The timbre of his voice, nearly making her spiral.

“It’s nice, nicer than most other places around,” this caused Fez to smile wider, “What? What are you doing here anyways?” She asked, suddenly confused by his presence in the building that was definitely not in East Highland.

“Come with me, it’s getting a little loud,” he held a hand out to her and she let him wrap his larger hand around hers. The familiar feeling sending tingles through her.

They walked to the back of the building, leading to what seemed to be an office.

Fez led her to the couch, “Drink?” He asked as he went to the little bar cart in the corner.

“Uh, sure,” Lexi mumbled, taking in the room around her, “This is fancy.”

Fez chuckled as he returned with a glass for her and himself. He sat beside her, “Thanks. Took a lot of work but Ash and I scored a good deal with the place.”

“So this whole building is yours?” She asked, looking back to the man who lived her memories.

She then realized just how close they were. How his bright blue eyes zeroed in on her.

He hummed a reply before saying, “Enough about that, for now. Catch me up on you.”

“Well, I’m a business analyst now. I work with a few different start ups around L.A.,” Lexi informed Fez, “So if you ever need any help let me know. I’ll cut you a good deal,” she mustered the courage to give him a wink.

He smirked at that, “Little Lexi went and got that degree.”

“Yeah, well, you made sure of that,” she couldn’t help the little pang of hurt in her heart. Remembering the last day they were together.

<<<<

The last few weeks before Lexi was supposed to leave for college, she felt Fezco pulling away from her. When before he would drop almost anything he was doing to go see her, now he was suddenly busy every time she texted him.

She had finally had enough of his shit and stormed into the store. Ash looked up in minor surprise.

“Where is he?” She demanded, a little shocked at her own tone.

“Look, Lexi, he’s really busy right now-“

“I’m sorry, Ash, I really just need to see him. He’s been dodging me for the last two weeks!” She was beyond frustrated.

“That’s not-” suddenly the office door opened, and Fez came out. He had a black eye and his knuckles were tore up.

“Oh my god, Fez! What happened?!” She hurried over to him, holding his face in her hands. He closed his eyes, leaning into her hand before swiftly stepping away.

“Lex, you need to go home,” he said, voice stern.

“Where have you been?” She asked, purposely ignoring his command. How could she leave when he was hurt?

“Alexis,” Lexi stopped her fretting, eyes wide. He never called her that.

“Just talk to me,” she whispered, “please?”

He sighed before looking to Ash and nodding his head to the side, a signal to leave.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Lexi asked, voice so soft it was almost a whisper.

“You need to understand,” Fez started, gently caressing her cheek, “You are going to go to great things. Gonna go to college and made something of yourself. Me? This is it for me.”

Lexi just shook her head, holding onto his forearm, just wanting to feel his touch a bit longer.

“You just need a better life than this. You need something I can never give,” He kissed her forehead, “I care too much for you to keep looking back here. Back at me. I’m just gonna hold you back from your potential.”

“That’s not true,” Lexi said through the tears that started to fall.

“It is,” he gave her a sad smile, “You’re gonna be awesome, Lex. No doubt about that. You’re fucking fearless.”

“You say something so loving, but…” she sniffled and hugging him tight to her.

“I’ve gotta let you go. You’ll be better off in something new,” he pressed a kiss into her hair, relishing in her scent.

“I don’t wanna be alone,” she mumbled into his chest.

“You know it hurts me too,” he let out a slight shudder of breath. He pulled away slightly and took a look at her tear streaked face, “You look so broken when you cry,” he wiped her tears away. He held her face in his hands, gazing into her deep brown eyes. The eyes he always got lost in.

He leaned down and kissed her, gentle and careful. Wanting to remember that feeling forever. Loving the way Lexi ran her hand over his buzzed hair and his chest.

When he finally pulled away, Lexi kept her eyes closed. Tears still fell, slowly. She finally opened her eyes and Fezco had to convince himself that, yes, this was the right thing to do. For her. Her future, that was much brighter than his.

Lexi rubbed her thumb over his scruffy beard, “One more, and then I’ll say goodbye,” she whispered.

Fezco nodded, running his hand through her brown curls, before bringing her lips to his once again.

>>>>

“Where’d you go?” Fez asked, noticing Lexi spaced out, “I was starting to miss ya.”

“Oh! Sorry, just remembered something,” Lexi sheepishly giggled.

“Mmm, wonder what thoughts are going on in that pretty head,” he leaned back against the couch.

Lexi hummed in response before also leaning back against the couch.

They just looked at each other before Lexi said, “This feels familiar.” Fez chuckled and nudged her with his elbow. Lexi smiled, just taking him in, “You’ve aged well.”

He just shrugged, “I did alright.”

“What made you pick this spot?”

“East Highland got a little… small. And I got tired of the bullshit. Ash got really into the whole investment thing and we ended up being able to buy this place,” he finally explained. Fez noticed her questionable expression, causing him to chuckle again, “It’s all legal now. Got our licenses and everything.”

“I’m so proud of you, Fezco,” Lexi reached over and caressed his chin, “I always knew you would do great things.”

Fezco reached over and played with a strand of her hair, twisting it around his finger, “I missed you a shit ton, Lex. I wanted to be better. You made me want to be better.”

Lexi couldn’t keep the smile off her face, stray tears finding their way free, “Sometimes, all I think about is you.”

Fez wiped the loose tears away, “Don’t wanna mess up that pretty face, now.”

“Shut up,” she giggled. A few memories popped up from all the times he said that exact sentence whenever she was dealing with bullshit at home.

“I think about you, too, Lex. Every damn day. Thinking back on if I made the right decision. Pulling away from your life like I did. Seeing you now… makes me glad I did. You’ve done great for yourself, it seems,” Fez gave her that look that always made her stomach flip flop.

Lexi took a sharp inhale when she noticed they somehow managed to get closer without realizing, like they were still drawn to each other. She watched with bated breath as his eyes flicked between her own eyes and her lips, the action causing her pull on her bottom lip slightly with her teeth. This caused a soft groan in Fez’s throat before he held her head in his hands and pulled her to him the rest of the way.

The quick action made her gasp, leading him to slide his tongue into her mouth and elicit a soft moan from her.

Next thing she knew, she was straddling Fez on the lush couch. Her dress tight enough to rise to her upper thighs. She wrapped her arms around his neck, resting on his shoulders as she combed her fingers in his hair. Something she was never able to really do before.

Fez moved a hand to the back of her head, fisting a handful of hair only rough enough to cause her to moan once more. His other hand traveled to her lower back, making her arch toward him. He tilted her head back and began leaving a trail of kisses and small nips down her neck to her now prominent chest.

Fez noted from the moment he first saw her how much she matured in the last six years, filling out more than she was before. And he loved every bit of it.

A sudden knock on the door caused Lexi and Fez to freeze. Lexi scrambling from his lap. She readjusted her dress and hair as Fez went to check who interrupted them.

“What the fuck do you want?” He asked, Lexi noticed it was the young man from earlier that Fez had been talking to. Only now realizing that it was Ash, all grown up.

Ash looked behind Fez and saw her, “Holy shit, is that Lexi?”

“I asked, what the fuck do you want?” Fez reiterated, growing impatient. Wanting to get back to the girl he once let go, but now she was just within reach.

“Some dickheads started fighting in the lot,” Ash informed him.

“Fuck,” Fez turned back to Lexi. She looked so beautiful. Her kiss swollen lips and mussed up hair, “Give me a second. Go handle it until I get there,” Ash nodded, giving a quick glance to Lexi before leaving.

Fez came back to where Lexi was sat, squatting down in front of her, running a hand up and down her calf, “I gotta go deal with some assholes. You gonna stay for a bit or do you have to go?”

Lexi glanced at her phone.

12:30 a.m.

“I can stay for a little while longer,” she said softly. She watched as his blue eyes crinkled with his smile.

“I’ll be back in fifteen,” he gave her a quick kiss before rushing out the door.

When the door shut, Lexi threw herself back on the couch before squealing.

11.7.18 Lectures are almost over and exams are approaching but I feel ok about it. And look at this cute bag I store my flashcards in. My best friend’s mum made it for me !