If Toritsuka And Saiki Were In First Name Terms Everyone Else WOULD FUCKIN LOSE IT

some jasons and damians thats been piling up :]

(and tim and alfred the cat)

The Wayne boys most days without sleep before they finally crashed (two manage to beat out Batman)

Tim Drake - 12 days

Tim fidgeted with his hands, his gaze fixed on the wall.

Tim: All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel, da da da da—

Suddenly, an alarm blared on his phone startling everyone at the cafe table he was sitting at.

Tim: POP GOES THE WEASEL!

He erupted into cackling laughter, but as he slowly laid his head on the table, the laughter quickly faded away. Cassie, Kon, and Bernard exchanged worried glances.

Cassie: Hey, Tim, how long have you been awake?

Tim (rocking back and forth): 288 hours.

Cassie (stunned): 200 and what?

Kon (shocked): You've been awake for 12 days?!

Bernard (sighing): Again, Tim?

Cassie & Kon: Again?!

Bernard: I've seen this happen with him so many times. At this point, his brain starts to cry.

Cassie: Don’t you mean die?

Tim sobbed for a few moments, his eyes fixed on his phone, before falling completely silent.

Bernard: Nah, I mean crying.

Tim: You've seen me do it before, and I can do it longer. The first record holder lasted 12 days! I can go even longer—like a full month! I can! Batman couldn't even do that!

Tim cackled rocking back and forth.

Tim: Coffee helps especially when you replace it with all other liquids.

Tim grabbed a large cup of coffee, his hands trembling uncontrollably. He took a few big gulps as Cassie looked on in shock, while Konnor blinked and then shrugged, taking a few sips from his tea. Bernard gently rubbed his boyfriend’s back.

Cassie: Dude, why are you even avoiding sleep?

Bernard (explaining for his boyfriend): The double life, regular paperwork and then hero work. Timmy, let's take you home okay?

Tim: Home, no home. I fall sleep. Sleep for the weak... Did you know if you look at the walls long enough, new people appear?

Tim waved, laughing nervously then tensed horrified.

Tim: Their faces are contorting again!

Bernard: Let's take you away from the scary... invisible person and get you home to not rest.

Bernard took Tim's hand and led him outside of the Dunkin' Donuts.

Cassie: I could not handle dating a batkid.

Konnor nodded.

Kon: I dated him for a while. Would not recommend.

----------------------------------------------------

Dick Grayson - 18 days and 15 minutes

Kori and Beast Boy walked into the Titans' living room. Raven was the only one there, deep in her daily meditation.

Kori: Where's Dick at?

Raven: Outside counting blades of grass.

Kori (confused): Counting blades of grass?

Beast Boy (frustrated): Oh Jesus, has he been awake for days again?

Raven nodded, her eyes still closed.

Raven (monotone): He'll crash any second, but he thought being outside in the sun would 'revitalize' him.

Beast Boy: That's not- I'll be back.

Beast Boy went outside where Dick was, indeed, counting blades of grass. BB approached him, tapping his foot. Dick looked up, his eyes wide and one twitching.

Dick: Hey- Hey- Hey buddy. Did you know we have one hundred thousand blades of grass? I- Did you change colors?

BB: What color do you think I am?

Dick squinted his eyes.

Dick: Blue.

BB: All right, we're on that color. How long have you been awake, buddy?

Dick: I stopped sleeping last Wednesday... Then a week passed... Then another, that was 14, now it's Saturday of the second week. And- I hear the world singing.

Dick lay on the ground, counting the same patch of grass as he whispered incoherent nonsense. Beast Boy crossed his arms, sighed, and walked back inside the tower.

BB: 18 days this time.

Beast Boy walked away as Kori covered her mouth in shock.

Raven: He's surpassing the world record holder. Also, his brain might be dying.

Kori (alarmed): Might be?!

Raven: He's a batkid, their brains are made of steel or something.

Kori: I have one trick that usually knocks him out—

Raven: I know it's sex.

Kori (giggling): Yes, but he falls asleep on top of me every time.

Raven sighed, shaking her head while Beast Boy left the house with a water bottle.

Beast Boy: Right, I'm going to give him this sleep juice Alfred sent us. He says it knocks them out in a few seconds.

Raven: Smart choice.

Beast Boy: Thanks.

----------------------------------------------------

Jason Todd - 5 days

Jason: I can't sleep.

Roy: How long have you been awake?

Jason (groggy): About five days. Man, I tried to go to sleep, but my body physically won't let me.

Roy: Well, you have been drinking Red Bulls every other hour. You're too focused on the mission. Just go to sleep.

Jason shook his head, rocking back and forth.

Jason: Can't sleep… Won't sleep… No sleep.

Roy tapped his foot, thinking of a way to get him to sleep, then smiled.

Roy: You know you're becoming just like your dad. That's good; he can go six days without sleep. Maybe you'll—

Jason stood up, went to another room, closed his door, and fell into his bed to sleep.

Roy: Works every time.

----------------------------------------------------

Damian - 1 day

Damian: I don't want to go to sleep! No!

Damian kicked his feet as Bruce dragged him to bed.

Bruce: Nope, you’ve stayed awake for 24 hours. That's it. Go to bed!

Damian: You're so unfair!

Bruce: You're not depriving yourself of valuable sleep—Alfred, shut up!

Alfred, who was reading a book about sleep disorders, smirked and then walked away.

why is he so sassy here

Batman: Shaman #4

Best Kids Hair ♡ part 1

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |

Creators CC <3 : @arethabee @sehablasimlish @qicc @goamazons

punkflower where hobie likes to crochet in his spare time bcs it keeps his hands busy; he does it while he’s daydreaming and it’s great! it’s fun! it’s relaxing!

the problem is that he can’t stop making things related to miles.

he picks up his hook and when he looks down again he’s made a little crochet spider in red and black. he doesn’t even remember reaching for the colours.

he tries again a few days later and by the time he realises he’s daydreaming about miles’s face and miles’s hair and miles’s smile, he’s already nearly done with a loose-knit navy cardigan. he ties it off temporarily and tries it even though he already has a feeling it won’t fit properly, and he’s right.

it’s too short on him.

because he’d subconsciously made it to miles’s measurements that he’d eyeballed.

fuck.

he finishes it anyway, passes it to miles all nonchalant just to get it off his hands and off his mind but the next time they hang out miles is wearing it and hobie has to stand in the corner with his mouth shut before he puts his foot in it, because the cardigan fits perfectly and if he talks he’s absolutely going to embarrass himself. miles is laughing with his head thrown back and hobie desperately wants to kiss him.

but obviously he can’t, so he crochets more instead and it gets even worse. he’s burning through his red and blue yarn like paper; he’s made headphone accessories, keychains, beanies, a whole collection of loose-knit tops bcs he can’t get the image of miles wearing the first one out of his head.

it’s ridiculous and he drives himself up the wall with it, but he gives them to miles anyway and says they’re just practice pieces until gwen and pav ambush him in his flat and yell at him to finally fucking confess or they’ll do it for him, bcs miles is decked out in swag knitwear and they keep getting stopped on the street by strangers asking where he gets his clothes and you know what he says?

he says they’re just his friend’s test pieces. with a sad little smile.

and hobie can’t stand it anymore, because he practically CUSTOM-MADE everything, test pieces his ass. he opens a portal right to miles’s room and his heart squeezes when he sees that miles is in one of the sweaters he made, cream-coloured with a maroon star on the front, a little green knitted sprout tied to his headphones on top of his head.

miles slams his sketchbook shut, blushing like he’s been caught, and hobie walks right up to him and says, “they weren’t practice pieces.”

miles blinks at him, still clearly flustered. “o…kay?”

he soldiers on. “i made them for ya. with you in mind. by accident.” see? he opens his mouth and puts his bloody foot in it IMMEDIATELY. he fumbles to do some damage control but miles is smiling crookedly, pulling his headphones off.

“you handmade me enough things to fill half my closet… by accident.”

“yeah.”

hobie has to force himself to breathe because miles is standing up and then they’re kissing and every damn thought gets wiped clean out of his brain.

“was that by accident too?” miles asks, close enough that hobie can smell the cocoa butter he uses on his skin, something warm tucked beneath his wry smirk and hobie wants to kiss it off his damn mouth, so he does.

(afterwards, they tumble down to dinner grinning like fools. miles’s parents don’t question, and they miss gwen and pav fist-bumping just outside the window.)

Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?

Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.

Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.

Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.

Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.

Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.

Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.

-

Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?

Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.

Damian has a jagged scar across his stomach and when the bats see it for the first time they try to unlock his Tragic Backstory about how he got it and Damian just scowls and refuses to speak whenever they bring it up so they all assume its a really sore spot to do with some kind of childhood trauma at the league, until Red Hood shows up in Crime Alley, starts working with the bats, catches wind of this, and mercilessly informs them that when Damian was 8 he insisted on helping him carry some new LOA weapons down the stairs and he tripped and ate shit with a serrated javelin in his hands.

Damian reveals Jason's identity out of spite.

tfw ur uhhh """"partner""" uno reverses your kabedon

IT!deku meets Pro Hero!Bakugou for the first time!

scammers to lovers | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Another one of my crack ideas of IronDad is Tony being OBSESSED with the idea of being a father, while Peter only sees him as a mentor

So things like this happen:

Tony: You still need a father for something, right?

Tony: Learn to ride a bike? swim? play baseball!? I don't know how to play baseball but- I can learn to teach you!

Peter: Mr. Stark, is there something you wanted to tell me?...

He acts exactly like a father should, he worries if he's eating right, he tells him to clean his room, teaches him how to behave at parties and takes him to places to go out with friends

He also has fatherly habits, making stupid jokes like "Hey Hunger, I'm a Dad!" shits

You know when you tell your dad that you liked some snack he bought for you and the next day he shows up with 30 packages of that snack?

Tony SOOOOOO do that!

One day the Avengers arrived home and the first thing they saw was Tony with 5 boxes of cherry soda talking to Peter like:

Tony: You said you liked that cherry soda?

Peter: YES, I LIKE IT, BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH MR. STARK!

Tony: I thought with your super metabolism this would be nothing?

Peter: THIS IS NOT THE POINT MR. STARK - wait, this is only sold at Starbucks freshly made, how did you buy this in cans!?

Tony: Oh yeah, uh, about that... I bought Starbucks, now it's StarkBucks 👍

Peter:... ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!!!!!!

*Just a few steps away*

Steve: It couldn't be more obvious

All other avengers: Yep

Rhode: And when I asked him to buy me ONE beer he said no...