Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?
Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.
Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.
Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.
Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.
Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.
Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.
-
Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?
Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.
...
Tim: "See when I can focus directly on a case with no interruptions, my success rate goes up exponentially." (Hasn't slept in 56 hrs.)
Damian: "Statistics don't lie"
Tim: "Statistics don't lie"
...
Damian: "When I adopt more animals, it makes me happy, and if I'm happy, I work better with a team."
Tim: "And you help an animal that needs a home."
Damian: "EXACTLY!"
Tim: "If anything, its irresponsible to let them roam the streets as strays."
Damian: "That's what I said!"
...
Tim: "So one of the executives of this firm has been stealing some stuff, but unfortunately, he also has the resources and status to get him off the hook with a light sentence. Which sucks."
Damian: "What if you add a more serious crime to up the charges?"
Tim: "...That is GENIUS! I have dozens of cold cases that I've solved, but the culprits have already died! Im sure one of them could easily pass as him! "
Damian: "I can help if you need any evidence planted."
Tim: "Sure thing! I'll let you know when i find the right felony to give him!"
...
Dick: "At least they're having fun and getting along?"
Bruce: "This is not better. Stop trying to pretend this is better."
it's beginning to get concerning, dad
Here’s more of them because they are the ultimate dynamic duo, literally it’s the ultimate life form and ultimate warrior.
love my test tube children (kon too…might do another him later) also i forgot to give Damian a helmet and elbow pads…but he’ll be fine….probably
this is Jason in every single fucking universe when he had the chance to kill bruce
Adrien: (tries to pet Titus without asking)
Damian: Don’t. He'll bite.
Adrien: But he's wearing a muzzle!
Damian: I'll take it off...
some jasons and damians thats been piling up :]
(and tim and alfred the cat)
I like in Teen Titans that Robin’s mask is just as expressive as like cartoon spidey masks. Especially when they do this thing:
OR WHEN HE DOES THIS:
he’s so silly I love him lmao
routine laboratory activity!
Damian giving people the nastiest reads ever for no reason at all, is so fucking funny. He's just that friend that takes it to far...
Bruce: This case at Wayne orphanage–
Damian: You know, it's disconcerting you own a building full of potential back-up Robins
Bruce:...
Stephanie: Union makes strength, Damian, we are better together
Damian: Is that why you and Tim are breaking up?
Tim:...
Bruce: I'd like you to have friends you have more in common with than killing
Damian: We have more in common than that, we all have poor relationships with our fathers too
Dick: I've been doing high-wire acts all my life, I'm the fastest in the air
Damian: You sure you're not scared of heights, Ric?
Dick: That's just mean...
Bruce: You are acting like a 10 year old heartless brat
Damian: And you were easier to look up to when you weren't around