Ngiiiii Toritsuka Curious To See Saiki Without His Glasses So He Asks Saiki To Take Off His Glasses And

Oracle (dazed): Okay, like, you just take a turn left and... ummmmm... got it?

Red Hood (on comms): That was a completed sentence.

Oracle (pushing her fingers together to see an image): It wasn't was it? I'm hungry. Let me get up. Oh, I can’t stand!

Oracle cackled while keeping her finger pressed on the communication button, allowing everyone on patrol to hear her.

Spoiler: Oh God, she's been Jokerized! Oracle, hang in there!

Nightwing: Oracle, did you buy those brownies after I told you it’d be a bad idea?

Oracle (balancing a pen on her finger): Yeppers, and I ate both bars! And I feel gooood! YEAH!

Red Hood (figuring out what was in the brownies): Oh my God, you ate two! You’re not coming down from that high for a while.

Oracle: Then I will ride the wave! Weeee!

Oracle spun in her wheelchair while cackling. Harper looked up from her tablet, laughing softly as she prepared to take over the controls since Barbara was definitely sitting this one out.

Nightwing: I told you those brownies weren’t worth it!

Oracle: You’re not my man; you can’t tell me what to do!

Robin (Damian): I’m confused about what brownies she ate that are making her this stupid.

Batman: Can someone take her off the computer?!

Oracle: You’re not my supervisor, you unsalted oatmeal, glutton for punishment, Star Wars prequel enjoying ninny!

The others went silent as Oracle giggled while resting her head on the desk.

Batman (clenching his teeth): Take her off the comms or I'm about to say a whole lot of mean things.

Harper: All right, just going to take over for ya, pal. Just eat the Cheetos I brought.

Oracle: Awesome!

Oracle rolled over to a small table she had set up while Harper took over.

Harper: She should be fine in a few hours and probably regret a lot of what she’s done. I think the brownies she bought were filled with a lot more than cannabis. This is Gotham, so I don't doubt it.

Robin: Oh, she’s intoxicated! Just give her some water and a toy, that’s how we handle Father.

Batman: You do what now?

One of the things that confuses people outside of the batfamily on a regular basis, are the cuddle piles.

Because they are not regular cuddle piles.

The first time Clark saw one, he was in the batcave, checking on Bruce, because he knew that the Bat hadn't gotten enough sleep the previous days.

At first he wasn't really sure what was going on. Bruce sat in front of the bat computer, head resting against the back of the chair. Clearly asleep. But he wasn't alone.

He was surrounded by his kids. Damian sat in his lab, cuddled against his chest. Dick had his head resting against Bruce's legs, while he was holding onto Tim. They both had their legs over Steph's torso, whose head was resting in Cass's lab.

Jason sat In front of Bruce, slightly leaning into dick with his hand on Duke's head as if to shut him up.

They were all sound asleep.

Clark came back later, only to find all of them acting as if nothing happened.

Duke's first encounter was also quite strange.

He wanted to get some food from the kitchen before he went out on patrol. As he walked through the foyer, he heard a snore. It took him five minutes to figure out where it came from.

As it turns out Dick, Cass and Damian like to nap on the chandelier.

Wally knew about the cuddle piles for a while, before he got to witness them. Dick and him were on the way to Wayne Manor when Dick told him to hurry up.

Steph had texted him that Jason just fell asleep. At first Wally didn't understand how that was important. But then they entered the manor and immediately headed for the roof.

Behind a chimney, in a little alcove, were Jason, Steph, Roy, Damian and Jon. All cuddled together, under a blanket that someone had brought.

Dick and wally joined them immediately.

So, yes. The Batfamily has cuddle piles. Sometimes others join them, like Wally, Roy, Jon or Kon.

But the strange part is where they have them.

this is Jason in every single fucking universe when he had the chance to kill bruce

Tony and his PPs (forgot to post this one too)

Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.

What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?

“This is the best day of my life.”

“You thought you ate that.” Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. “This is level 10 cringe. Can’t have shit in Gotham.”

Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.

—

“Hey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.”

What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.

What comes out instead, through Bruce’s grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, “Not you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.”

Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.

—

“Chat, is this real?”

Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. “I think he just asked us if we copied.”

“I wish I was Jason, 15.”

—

“This is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.” He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesn’t seem to work.

Damian gives him a pat like he’s a pitiful cat. “I’ll only stab the non lethal areas.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

Stupid headcanon based on myself

Peters phone dings and he asked Tony to read the text for him

Tony confused: "who is 'big balls man'???"

Peter casually: "oh that's Ned"

Tony: "what the- 'autistic weed dealer'?? Who tf-?"

Peter: "that's MJ"

Tony blinking confused: "istg if you named Romanoff 'mommy'-"

Peter: "no that's loki- Ms Romanoff is 'terrifier 3'"

Tony:

Peter:

Tony: "what the fuck are these names kid-?? WHO IS 'INTERGALACTIC CUMSOCK'!?"

Peter: "that's Thor"

Tony: "WHAT'S MY NAME??"

Peter: "just Mr stark with the chair emoji"

Tony:

Peter:

Tony offended: "that is so not fair-"

Congrats to them <3

In my head, Damian is an iPad kid. He’s always playing some type of game on his phone or iPad. Anytime he’s out of the manor for something other than patrol or school he’s probably at the arcade trying to beat his high score on various games.

-

Damian, playing block blast on his phone in the Batmobile as robin in the backseat.

Batman, looking back at him through the rearview mirror: Robin… what are you doing?

Robin: Just playing a game father. Don’t worry it’s educational enough for me to play.

Batman: oh.. okay.

Nightwing: Wait.. Isn’t that block blast? The game you swore you would never play?

Robin, dropping his phone and jumping on top of Nightwing.

Nightwing, laughing and trying to fight back

Batman, sighing and continues to drive

-

Damian, in his room playing call of duty on his Xbox

Alfred: Master Damian. Would you like anything to eat or drink perhaps? You’ve been playing that blasted game all day.

Damian, not looking up: Well I assure you it’s all for a good cause.

Alfred: *sighing* very well continue on.

-

Damian, at the arcade playing Galaxian

Duke: Damian? What are you doing here?

Damian: Just trying to beat this incompetent high score of a kid named “Chris”.

Duke: You are such an iPad kid *chuckles*

Damian: What was that Thomas?

Duke: Nothing never mind. Have fun trying to beat his high score.

Damian: Oh don’t worry I will. And once I do I will be victorious.

-

Damian, playing brawl stars

Jason: Hey demon brat, what are ya doin’?

Damian: ah Todd. I was just playing a game. Your simple mind wouldn’t understand.

Jason, muttering under his breath: Whatever

-

Damian: Father I need your credit card. I need more V-bucks for this game.

Bruce: oh what game is it?

Damian: Fortnite, now please I need the battle pass so these unskillful lunatics can stop calling me a “noob”.

Bruce: uh okay? *takes out his credit card*

Damian, snatching it from B and running to his room: Thank you Father.

Bruce: mutters under his breath and walks back into the kitchen

Clark: Bruce are you okay?? Your heartbeat is going crazy do I need to call someone?

Bruce: hm (negative)

Clark: Bruce how long has it been since you slept

Bruce: hn (neutral)

Clark, eyes narrowed: Bruce.

Bruce: 2

Clark: Two, what? Two days?

Bruce: hm….. (negativ)

Clark: TWO WEEKS?

Bruce:

Clark: HOW ARE YOU EVEN STILL ALIVE

Bruce: I’m not alive. I’m Batman

Clark:

how many times did Will fantasize about getting pushed against this ladder for him to have a visceral reaction to Hannibal cornering him like this? slut, whore, harlot.