Batkids calling Bruce when they need him.
Dick gets arrested for underage drinking call my dad now he's not in the slightest scared but he wants his dad. Bruce who already got bail done and is wrapping Dick in a blanket.
Jason crashes a car already on the phone with Bruce who is speeding to him.
Tim is falling asleep at the office and wants to go home dad please pick me up. Waking up tucked in Bruce's bed.
Damian gets in a fight at school you call my father right now. He suspended but Bruce hugs him on the way out.
Cass standing face to face with David Cain the man who should have been her father but isn't but before she can scream for Bruce she's wrapped in his cape.
Duke calling Bruce because the kids at school have never been nice to a kid from the wrong side of the tracks and getting ice cream just because.
Stephanie just calling Bruce to talk knowing no matter how busy he is there will be time for her.
Babs who even though Jim Gordon is a great man after a nightmare about the joker only wants one man. Bruce running in the middle of the night to her door. Wrapping his batgirl in his arms.
Kids who aren't afraid to call Dad. He wont be mad he wants them to call. To know he will drop everything to get to his boys, or his girls. Scared birds shouting for the big bad bat and he comes running.
Sappy romantic Shadow and brainrot cringe Sonic
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I love Fics where Damian gets carried around. So here is a HC from me.
Bruce is at a meeting with the JL, and he brings Robin with him. Why? He just comes along, no real reason. Bruce shows Damian the watchtower, and they run into Hal and Barry. Hal and Barry never met Damian, and they think he is a normal child that fights crime with Batman. Well, they are wrong. They ask Damian which his favorite is, Flash or Green Lantern. Before Damian can say something, Bruce picks him up and carries him away; Damian is too stunned to say anything. This was actually smart, because Damian definitely would have destroyed Hal and Barry with words. Even if Bruce thinks that they're idiots sometimes, he still needs them, and he can't just let his son destroy their mental health with one sentence.
Later in a meeting something similar happens, but it's Superman asking. Before Damian can say anything, Bruce picks him up again, sits him in his lap, and starts patting his head. None of the heroes know it's for their own good; they think it's cute.
The picking up Damian thing also goes for the others. Once Duke and Damian are in the Gotham Library, because Damian has a group project and he refuses to go to the houses of his classmates and he also refuses to bring them to the Manor. Duke is also there just because he also has some homework to do (and because Bruce told him to supervise).
When one of Damian's classmates says that he doesn't like some random animal that Duke hasn't even heard about, he starts to sprint over to Damian and picks him up. Duke knows that Damian would have verbally destroyed the other kid, and he doesn't want to take care of a crying child.
This picking up and making Damian shut up thing works for everyone except Dick. The others say it's because Dick doesn't hold Damian tight enough or because he is too used to getting randomly picked up by Dick. He is a little bit salty about it when he learns during a mission that this also works with Stephanie.
The entire thing was first discovered by Alfred and Tim. Damian and Tim were alone with Alfred at the Manor, and they nearly got into a fight; however, Alfred walked in on them before something happened. He sees that they're both going to explode soon and that they will start fighting. So he decided to just take Damian and place him in a different room. He crouches down to Damian, ruffles his hair, and holds him, then takes his hand and leads him away. For some reason that completely resets Damian's brain (it's probably because in the league no one ever held him, except for training, and then it was violent).
Tim is like, 'What just happened with the Demon Brat?'.
And from that day on, they figured a way out to make Damian shut up.
Jason and Damian meeting at the league but Batfam doesn’t know Jason’s alive is one of my favourite fanfic tropes.
Dick, in his hoe era talking about getting beat tf up by some girl’s boyfriend: I genuinely thought the dude was gonna kill me! I was framed, I swear! Istg someone must’ve planted a strawberry handkerchief on me or something.
Damian, barely listing: was that an Othello reference?
Tim: how did you know that? I didn’t even catch that.
Damian: it was ja- *long pause ensues*
Tim: is his programming malfunctioning?
Dick: Ja??
Damian, brain farting: yep. “Ja”
*frantically messaging Jason saying he almost broke his cover*
—
Damian, annotating Jason’s old copies of the classics: I forgot how much of an idiot you were back then. *takes sticky note off page* “RIP queen, this is actually so depressing.” Yeah, Ophelia just died. Way to state the obvious.
Dick: ??
Damian:
Damian: I’m a medium. He-uh, talks to me.
Dick: oh okay- wait. What?
—
Damian, sneaking back into the manor after having a visit with Jason: *tip toeing his way to the stairs*
Bruce, waiting in the living room with a lamp: Damian, Where were you?
Damian, who can’t improv for shit: uh-
Bruce: *eyebrow raise*
Damian: I was kidnapped by red hood *runs upstairs*
—
Bruce, in his feels era: I wish jaylad was around to see this.
Damian, not thinking: can we not just ask him to come over?
Bruce:
Damian:
Bruce: what-
Damian: we can use a ouija board. That’s how I communicate with him.
Bruce, concerned: what???
Batman: I have decided I will reveal my identity to one person
Justice League: !!!!
Batman: *walks over to Green Arrow*
Green Arrow: Wait wha-
*Hot steamy make-out session right in front of the League. Jaws are dropped, Superman’s eyes are red, there’s tongue*
Green Arrow: … huh
Batman: *raises an eyebrow* Do you understand?
Green Arrow: *now completely aware that Batman is Bruce Wayne due to how many make-outs the two of them have had over the years* Surprisingly yes
Justice League: ?!?!?!
Batman: That’s all *sweeps out of the room with a dramatic flare of his cape*
bruce would be fucking HILARIOUS in his idgaf era just imagine:
bruce: come home
jason: what? so you can throw me in--
bruce: no, just come home. i want you home, so come home.
jason: i'm not fallin for this shit!
bruce: i no longer care about all of *points between himself and jason* this mess. i want to go home, play monopoly with my kids and be mad about the lot of you cheating. that is what i want, so that is what will happen.
jason: you're being ridiculous.
bruce: frankly, i dont give a fuck. now, what piece do you want, the hat or the car?
jason:....
bruce:.....
jason: the car.
bruce: fantastic, be home in 10.
Just the starco bits
people seemed delighted by me putting my crocheter keith headcanon in this comic so i needed to be silly abt it
i like to think coran would teach him how to crochet and it helps give him an outlet and teaches him to be more patient but he also uses it to vent his stupid crush lmfao
+bonus