Hobie And Miles’ First Meeting What-if …🎸🌻

Congrats to them <3

Within 3 months of Damian becoming a doctor injury rates among heroes and vigilantes drop DRAMATICALLY.

He's Dr. House but worse. He watched the show, got inspired and added a culturally appropriate amount of his special flavour of trauma into the mix.

Thomas Wayne and Alfred are Proud.

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Damians Lore Drops have to be incredible. And a little horrifying.

Because Damian just does these insane, incredible things and then goes on with his life.

It's a trait he shares with most of his family, but Damian just tells them the most insane things about himself over breakfast on a Thursday in a bored tone like he didn't just admit to that time he and Jon fought a gun touting Batman Tim Drake from the Future. Or that he died at least twice in a murder tournament and told no one! They thought it was a regular fighting tournament.

Imagine he is arguing with Jason, and Jason threatens to make his life hell over the last pancake, and Damian just replies,'been there, done that, it was not very pleasant.' And it's not quippy or anything, just serious and little haunted. Jason freezes, Damian eats the pancake, AND THEN HE GOES ABOUT HIS DAY AND REFUSES TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS.

Like Damian has a lot of weird skills, especially for a kid. The entire batfam does, but like Damian canonically built a flying batmobile at ten like it was a Lego set.

Imagine Dick or Bruce saying that they wished that they had this ultra specific imaginary device, and a few days later, Damian hands it to them completely unprompted. They ask how and why, and Damian admits to having the equivalent to multiple high levels degrees in engineering and mechanics at like, age six, and he would have done more, but his mother killed the tutor.

Dick asks what else he's learnt, but the list is so weird and varied it leaves him shook. Who makes a nine year old study Business Management and Finance?? (This is also cannon)

Then there's the weird people and animals Damian seemingly collects. How does everyone react to Goliath? How do they find out about WIGGLES? Why does he have so many friends they have never heard of, and why are so many of them old enemies of Bruce's he met on the murder island? When did you get a cousin? Why did you punch Green Arrow? Huh? Fair.

Wtf Bruce, you let him keep the monkey??

Damian isn't used to communicating anything, so 90 per cent of what they know about him is what he deems revelvant at the time. Like, oh, Ras used to lock him in a box regularly so he knows how to escape this trap. Cool.

Oh, they can't understand a man they are questioning, Don't worry, Damian knows that language.

Oh no, they need voice access to get into this super secret base. Damian can mimic anyone.

Do you need help identifying this very rare mineral? Damian, I could have a PhD. in Geology by now if the tutor survived my mom, has got you.

He drives like an F1 racer and can manage lorry sized vehicles at 13. Studied magic just so he can use some spells in emergencies.

He just doesn't say anything until he needs to.

I think he is like that the rest of his life, though. Like his family starts to expect the weird shit all of them do, and at this point, very little surprises them .

Until Damian starts to date Jon and says nothing.

He just comes to the Manor one day with a baby and proceeds to introduce Bruce to his granddaughter. All happy and completely normal.

Meanwhile, Bruce is having a heart attack and asks who her mother is?

Damian explains how Talia grew her in a tube for him and Jon as a wedding gift. Bruce almost dies from choking on his own spit.

Talia grew him a baby? And since when are you married? And to Jon? Why does Talia know before him? Oh God, he and Clark are in laws.

I have this headcanon that Duke is like… the only person who can shit talk Damian to his face and everyone else is flabbergasted bc like- its damian, but Duke lives with the guy and actually has no chill, so Damian allows it because… Duke’s like… his closest brother because they live together.. like-

Damian: *scowling around at people at a very important social event* Dick: *trying to get him to smile* Duke: *flatly, snaps his fingers twice in Damian’s direction* Fix your face Critter Dick: *ready to hold Damian back if he attacks* Damian: *bats Duke’s hand away, but smooths out his expression and almost looks… normal* ~ Duke and Jason: *having a discussion* Damian: *walks in* D+J: *laugh* Damian: What am I missing? Duke: *without missing a beat* a few inches of height Jason: *agog* Damian: *rolls eyes* ~ Robin: I need to get to the top of that wall Signal: You do? Damn. Thats a shame. *whistles* Damian: *scowling* Duke: Do you have something to ask, short stack? Dick: *ready to intervene on Duke’s behalf* Damian: *through gritted teeth*  Could you help me up the wall, Signal? Please. Duke: *smirks. Yeets him up* Dick: *gagged* Bruce: *used to it, sighs*

gotham rainy nights

i firmly believe in Duke doing silly things with his power

hiding under your dad's cape when it's pouring outside can be something very special + bat-rain-poncho, several years later

"Kamala Harris raised 50+ million dollars after Biden dropped out!" you fools.... that's the money she got from selling Biden to One Direction :(

Saiki n mob

Bruce, who has a problem expressing emotions because he was teased for them in school as the "crazy Wayne kid"

Bruce, who used to clutch Alfred at night and wet himself due to his nightmares.

Bruce, who got flashbacks till his mid-twenties everytime he walked down an alley.

Bruce, who would hug a weeping Dick Grayson and stay with him until the night terrors were over, humming a soft lullaby that Bruce's mother sang for him

Bruce, who hardened his mouth and his life to keep the anger in check after Jason, because he knew if he didn't every criminal would pay.

Bruce, who sees Damian chopping up shrubbery and thinks "I was far worse as a child inside, it's a good thing he's letting it out"

Bruce, who can't walk by a homeless child in the street without calling his special Wayne Foundation liaison (who he keeps on speed dial) and asking her to find "one more spot"

Bruce, who sees Selina petting kittens and robbing the rich and thinks "if I could have had a life with her, that would have been nice"

Bruce, who looks at Cass' x-rays and sees her knit bones and swears to god he will break the bones of whoever's responsible for her upbringing

Bruce, who gives Tim projects that he himself can do faster because he sees attention-starved Tim trying to please him

Bruce, who looks at Clark smiling and thinks of what he can buy for his birthday to make him smile just like that.

Bruce to his parents in their graves after not being able to catch a criminal: I'm sorry. I've failed you. I'll try harder.

People who don't know Bruce: why is that man so unfeeling.

Bad DC writers: idk just that way i guess