Here’s More Of Them Because They Are The Ultimate Dynamic Duo, Literally It’s The Ultimate Life Form

Bruce: “Alfred, where’s Damian?”

Alfred: “There was a thunderstorm last night, Master Bruce. I believe he went to comfort the pets.”

He finds Damian asleep in the barn, using the batcow as a pillow, and decides to cancel today’s mission.

🦇 vampire damian doodle dump 🦇

horny sleep paralysis demon

Toddler Damian if he grew up with Bruce will constantly be put in air jail.

Running through the halls and knocking things over? Air jail but if it's Alfred he hooks him onto a coat rack.

Almost launches himself into the abyss of the Batcave? Air jail but jason swings him around.

Escapes into the chimpanzee exhibit at the zoo? Air jail by Bruce and they go home early.

It's so cute because toddlers in air jail kick their little feet petulantly and I imagine Damian twisting around really violently in air jail.

Batboys do stupid shit like compete to see who can eat the spiciest food. It’s what siblings do. It’s the law.

Duke finds ramen on Amazon with an honest-to-God warning label on it. “Caution - Do not handle with bare hands.” The boys unanimously decide that this is the ultimate test. They all regret it.

Dick asks Bruce if he wants to join them and the older man wants no parts. There’s no way this ends without vomit, painful gas, heartburn, spice in eyes, or all of the above. Bruce refuses to suffer and simply warns them not to make a mess.

Jason’s the first one down. Duke’s preparing four bowls and when Jason catches a whiff of the sauce, he tears up instantly and taps out. He’s already died once and refuses to do it again so soon.

Damian’s been eating spicy food since he cut his first tooth, but a single taste has him hiccuping. He puts his chopsticks down and runs to the sink, annoyed that he couldn’t win but more focused on willing the food to come back up. Jason rubs his back and offers him some milk to chug. Best case scenario, it helps with the spice. Worst case, you finally puke.

Dick and Tim manage a few mouthfuls each before disaster strikes. Tim starts sweating and his nose starts running. Before taking his fourth bite, he sneezes. Dick laughs while he’s chewing and something goes down the wrong pipe and oh God, it’s in my nose! He hacks and claws at his face, feeling the excruciating burn in his sinuses. He doesn’t realize that he’s got sauce on his hand until he presses his fingers into his sinuses and brushes his eye.

Damian doesn’t mean to laugh as Dick drops to the floor and writhes in agony, but it’s kind of funny. Of course, that’s when his single bite decides to come back up. Jason would find hilarious if the little gremlin hadn’t yakked all over his new shirt. And shoes. And fucking hell, how is there so much, you only took one bite!

Bruce comes into the kitchen and audibly gasps at the carnage as Tim finishes one last bite to solidify his win. The teen grins triumphantly, but the victory is short-lived. Everyone can hear his stomach gurgle unpleasantly and, to Tim’s credit, he simply pulls out a bottle of Pepto Bismol and takes a swig.

“Worth it,” he groans, beating a fist against his chest as uncomfortable heat blooms beneath his sternum. “I’ll wear this heartburn with pride.”

Duke recorded the whole thing. He saves it as “Stupid Shit” on his phone and posts it on Instagram with the hashtag #WeWereUnsupervised.

Bruce coming up to Dick and Tim (Jason isn't at the manor), they just point at Damian. Damian was learning from Alfred and Jason to impress Jon 😉

(Anyone currently running a batfam socmed AU feel free to steal this 💜)

really enjoyed this scene from fraycheck by surveycorpsjean on ao3

Family tradition 🥰🥰🥰

Inspired by:

i finally have enough time to properly draw again, so i'm treating myself to a PTA Mom VS. Twilight Saga. listen all i want is a silly little post reveal story with silly little shenanigans and extreme pettiness + perfectionism from twilight in the most trivial of matters. is that too much to ask?

i am going to tag this under 'spy x pta' LMAO

(for those who don't know, PTA stands for Parent Teacher Association. commonly in elementary schools, parents in the PTA are often stereotyped as overbearing, overly competitive, and petty)