I Am The Shyest Attention Whore Ever

𝙽𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟸, 𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟷 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟺-𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟹

all this praise for female actors who have been hamlet onstage. well. what about the praise for ME. who has been hamlet so many times. inside my head

Hamlet: Bad news: My uncle locked us out of the castle.

Good news: We didn’t have to wait along for a locksmith. 

Bad news: Laertes finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks and has tried to unlock more of my Tragic Backstory ™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned it was because, at thirteen, I figured it was the kind of skill that would impress cute people. 

Good news: A cute girl saw me do it. 

Bad news: It was Ophelia, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry over a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, She’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

Ophelia: You looked stressed.

Hamlet: Thanks, it’s the stress.

john darnielle / black sails viii / pathologic 2: the marble nest / ghost quartet, dave malloy / black sails xvii / the ostereia / black sails xxxiv / the illiad, homer / no second troy, william butler yeats / black sails xxxviii / planet of love, richard siken / catherine deneuve discussing belle du jour / hannah kent, from ‘burial rites’ / the worm king’s lullaby, richard siken / true detective 01x08 / rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead, tom stoppard / pathologic / dark (2017-2020) / julius caesar, shakespeare / twin peaks 07x07 / heroes: mortals and monsters, quests and adventures by stephen fry / sherlock 04x01 / the city, c.t. cavafy (trans. edmund keeley) / la clairvoyance, rené magritte (1936) / sir gawain and the green knight (trans. james j. wilhelm) / arrival (2016) / the castle, franz kafka / dark (2017-202) / hamlet, shakespeare / the green knight (2021) / the silmarillion, j.r.r. tolkien / hadestown, anaïs mitchell

i feel so silly reading classics and feeling surprised when something unexpected happens like the entire world already read this and i'm sitting here in shock like "wdym hamlet just killed polonius⁉️😧"

Hamlet: Drank the liquid inside of my magic 8 ball and I’ve been predicting the future all day. My uncle says it was just normal water but whatever he dies tomorrow anyways.

Claudius: *dies the next day*

Hamlet: *holding bloody sword* See, I told you!

sorry, i mythologized your boyfriend. yeah i took him and a few other boyfriends and merged them together with local folklore and mystic elements into one legendary figure. he's going to be really hard to pin down historically. sorry about that. I can make you his consort in some stories if that helps.