Latest Posts by melrambles - Page 6

YEAHHHHHHHHH ❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗

yall, hot take here, might lose some moots for this, but slimecicle is so fine bro i can’t even

YESSIR BUT LOUDERRRR ❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

yall, hot take here, might lose some moots for this, but slimecicle is so fine bro i can’t even

Okay you're just a hater 😔🙏

(I do this a few times a day when I'm on Tumblr I just want my moots to know that I care about them and their sillies ❤️❤️)

HIII MELRAMBLES HIIIIII

IM JUST SCROLLING AND GOT SO SCARED WTH ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE OR SOMETHING WHAT GHE FUCK???????????????

HIII MELRAMBLES HIIIIII

Me next!!!

make your guess >:3

(also anyone can reblog with their own!!)

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THW BACK ❗❗❗❗❗❗❗🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

yall, hot take here, might lose some moots for this, but slimecicle is so fine bro i can’t even

Polish dubbing is only good for cartoons and Disney esque movies 😔😔 but I will see it in original. I will.

seeing the mc movie LOL

I saw it with polish dubbing and OMFG it was so shit but so good at the same time??? And also the audience clapped during those meme moments and I cried when techno showed up. Also dantdm, ldshadowlady and mumbo were mentioned ❗❗❗❗❗

Nah but istg the dubbing was so shit especially for Garrett 😭😭😭

seeing the mc movie LOL

Mmmmmmmm 🤤🤤🤤🤤

homosexual homeownership (1/2)

charlie slimecicle x male!reader (reference to reader having a dick, use of the word “sir,” and some more smaller things)

mild nsfw, no porn but plenty of horniness

contains swearing

sorry this took so long, i hope you like it :]

You should be very proud of yourself. Only 28, and already a proud homeowner, with a white picket fence and everything. Sure, you lacked a nuclear family, but considering your distaste for children and preference for men over women, you’d known better than to hope for anything similar.

Yes, it could be a little lonely sometimes, but that’s why you had your work, and your saltwater fish tank, and your cat, Mortimer. And, of course, your beloved lawn.

Nothing pleased you more than the smell of freshly cut grass, the stripes of green leading from your house to the fence and back, the sprinklers refreshing each blade during periods without rain. 

Your friends from the city often teased you about your almost erotic joy, calling you an old man. They even gave you a sign that read “KEEP OFF GRASS,” as if you’d chase off any whippersnappers that dare set foot on it. 

It was with these same friends that you’d gotten drunk with that night in late June, the ones who rushed to your side the moment you hit the ground after you fell off the skateboard, and the ones that rode with you to the emergency room. They apologized again and again, even though it had been your idea to begin with, and promised to help you with anything you needed while you healed.

Anything except mowing your lawn this weekend, apparently. You cursed their names when you realized you’d have to confront the elephant in the room, or rather, next door. Charlie.

Always kind to you, always offering help or friendship, and always annoyingly handsome. Unfortunately, he just happened to be one of those people you had to avoid. Your gut told you so. But you were running out of options, and he was just a house away, so you knocked on his door. Thankfully, he accepted your offer of $30 each time he worked for you, and you planned for the following Sunday morning.

He showed up at your door ten minutes late, in a muscle tank that did nothing if not piss you off. The way it displayed his biceps was infuriating.

“Morning! How are you? How’s the ankle?”

“Fine and fine, thank you Charles. Yourself?”

“I’m good! You can call me Charlie, though. Everyone does.”

“Okay then, Charlie…” It felt overly friendly, uncomfortable. You would rather just call him Charles, but it wouldn’t be very polite to ignore his wishes. “Let me show you where the mower is. This way, please.”

A more hospitable host would have offered him something to eat or drink before putting him to work, but something inside you was getting a little too excited. Your palms were sweaty as they gripped your crutches, and every time you glanced back to see if he was following, that feeling squirmed in your chest, and you heard blood rush in your ears. You needed to get him out of your sight, fast.

“Here she- um, it, is. Durable and easy to use. You shouldn’t have any problems.”

“Gotcha. You want front and back, right?”

“Yes, and please be very thorough from the back. Wi- with the back, sorry. Um. There’s a lot of dandelions that need to be cut.”

“Of course, I’ll be very thorough,” he chuckled. “Anything else?”

“I believe that’s all. The back door will be open, come- come in if you need anything.” God, stop stuttering.

With that, Charlie pulled the mower out of the garage and set out working on the front yard.

You tried passing time by any means possible. You had even broken your strict work-life balance and checked your email on a weekend. But eventually you had to peek out the window.

The front was immaculate, done in pretty straight lines just the way you liked. You hadn’t even told him that, as you were trying not to be difficult, but it seemed he read your mind. And your heart definitely wasn't fluttering over that.

You started heading towards the back to look through the glass door, and as soon as it was in view, you stopped dead in your tracks.

He was taking off his shirt.

Your mind was flooded with all the thoughts and feelings you had been trying to hold back. Sweat was dripping off Charlie’s glistening skin, his muscles practically begging to be touched, caressed, licked, bitten. His expression was not helping either, lips agape, eyes closed as he took a breath. All of it was too much to ignore any longer, combined with the embarrassing fact that it had been two years since your last night with a man. Finally, you allowed yourself to gaze at him with desperate lust, your cock beginning to harden.

And, of course, that’s when he started heading towards you.

A yelp escaped your throat. You clumsily scrambled away from the door and around the closest corner, crutches clicking against the hardwood floor.

Safely hidden, you reassessed your situation. You were staring at your neighbor, who you hired to mow your lawn, while he was shirtless, because you are a pathetic gay incel. And don’t forget the bonus points for pathetically running away from him when you were almost caught. Was there anything else you could screw up today? God, why couldn’t you have asked another neighbor? This never would have happened if you’d just asked that older guy from down the street. Oh, fuck, Charlie was your next door neighbor. If you embarrass yourself in front of him, you have to see him at least once a week for the rest of your life, or until one of you moved, and looking at the state of the housing market, that wouldn’t happen for quite a while, if ever. Not to mention, since you were paying him, were you technically his employer? Was this workplace harassment? God, you are so fu—

“Hello? Sir, are you here? I need your help with something, if you don’t mind?”

Swallowing your nerves (and whatever was stirred up with the word “sir”), you put on a neutral face and, as naturally as possible, ambled back to where his voice was coming from.

“Yes, um, Charlie?” Don’t stare at his chest don’t stare at his chest don’t stare…

“Yeah, so it’s getting pretty hot and sunny out there, so I can’t really work comfortably with my shirt on, but I forgot to put on sunscreen this morning? I wasn’t expecting it to get hot so fast. Do you have any I could use, please?”

“O-of course. Just a second.” Getting up and down stairs was rather time consuming, but you rushed through it as quickly and safely as possible. “Here, use as much as you need.”

“Thanks! I really appreciate it.” Damn, that smile could warm the heart of Putin.

You desperately avoided looking at him, to the best of your ability, as he smoothed the cream into his sculpted body. 

“Sorry, um, could you get my back please?”

Oh my god, kill me now. “Sure, no problem.”

He turned around, and, fuck, you always had a thing for muscular backs.

All you had to do was calmly rub the sunscreen onto his back. Ensure it covers his skin enough to prevent burns, but don’t be too dedicated. At least from this angle it was easier to hide your hard-on.

His skin was warm and damp, smooth and soft, carrying that addicting man-smell, natural and a bit sweet, with occasional sharp notes of Old Spice deodorant. This guy was a walking drug for you, an intoxicating mix of pleasure and pain. This was either your personal heaven, or hell— you couldn’t tell which.

“Thanks, sir, I think that’s good.”

“Great, um, good. Okay. Let me know if you need anything else. Like water. It’s hot out there, do you need some water?”

“That would be perfect, actually, thank you!”

You sat at the kitchen table with him as he drank his glass, unsure of what else to do. “You seem a bit nervous, sir, are you okay?”

“Me? Perfectly fine, I’m sorry, I’m just not used to company.”

“Right, you live here alone, huh? How’d you manage that?”

“It was an inheritance, actually, from my grandmother a few years ago.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry about your grandmother. Were you close?”

“Very. But, I mean, it’s okay. The house reminds me of her.” You smiled, allowing your memories to calm you down. “Sometimes I can still smell her perfume. It’s like she’s visiting me.”

“That’s sweet. You’re lucky you had such a good relationship with her.”

“I am. What about you, how did you end up a homeowner?”

“Oh, I’m not,” he said in that adorable half-laughing voice. “I’m just renting. But my landlord said she might sell it at some point, and she’d give me a discount if I was interested.”

“Ah. Are you? Interested, I mean?”

“I am, I guess. It’s a nice house, probably nicer than what I could afford to pay full price for. And, you know, the neighbors are nice.“ His little smile made his dimples show. You couldn’t help but smile, too.

“Hah, well, I don’t know. I’ve heard they can be pretty anal about their lawns.”

“Nahhh, they’re just proud of their homes, and want them to look pretty. I get it, and I don’t mind helping a neighbor in need with a lawn in disarray.”

“Well, thank you. I know this isn’t a small favor.”

“No problem at all. I could always use a little extra cash, and someone to talk to.”

The glass he was sipping at was, unfortunately, empty. “I guess I better get back at it…”

“Yes, don’t let me keep you, sorry.”

His eyes met yours as he stood up. “You know, if you wanted to keep an eye on things, I wouldn’t be insulted or anything. I could bring a chair onto the deck for you.”

“I don’t know…” He was offering to let you watch him mow? To do nothing but stare at his half-clothed body? Was he…? No, nevermind, couldn’t be.

Despite your answer, Charlie was already carrying a chair out for you, lifting it like it was nothing to him. “It’s fine! Come on out, the fresh air is great.”

You begrudgingly followed his instructions. He took your crutches and propped them up against the side of the house, close enough for you to reach if you needed to.

And there you sat, watching your handsome neighbor mow your lawn, turning it from a dandelion breeding ground into manicured, beautiful, trimmed green grass. Was there anything more attractive than a man with a talent for yardwork?

🌻 Fleur's Recs! 🌻

I compiled a list of all my favorite authors, one-shots, series and artists that I know I will return to and reread an obscene amount of times. I will be updating this regularly. And a lot of these are NSFW so MDNI! No one under 18 allowed!!

Schlatt, Charlie and Ted writers

@burdenandacrop , @kkentobox , @memento-rory, @hufflepuffsthunderdome, @frostedsugarcookiehearts, @obsessivestar, @mads-hemmo, @rawme-schlatt, @croworro, @criswritessometimes, @cardgamerz, @schlattslambo, @schluttforschlatt, @babies-blues, @schlatt-love-bot, @kiddiesmores (basically just all my moot authors)

@pupslimes, @squinch-depraved, @666pretty

@teddynivvy (there needs to be more ted love and I will eventually contribute to that)

Fave one shots

basically anything by @burdenandacrop (she's a fan favorite ik!), Brat Tamer, This Kitty is Off the Chain, The Year You Died

Fave series

Big Bad John (still ongoing), My Heart is Buried in St. Lucia (tbh I still haven't finished reading this one but IT'S GAS), Childhood Friend Series (still ongoing), Do you Have to Let it Linger? - Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Final Part, Does your Husband Know?, 86 Mahi Mahi!, Bambi

Fave artists

@schlunk, @wh0re-in-the0ry, @mellohisan - (please commission them, their work is stellar!)

Hope you get better soon ❤️❤️

omg guys where tf are you, come back 😭

please i’m so boredddd

Are you up to anything rn??

omg guys where tf are you, come back 😭

please i’m so boredddd

Its the one time I'm pulling an all nighter during the week so I'm here if you want to 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

omg guys where tf are you, come back 😭

please i’m so boredddd

Of course we would!! We're all freaks here 😈😈😈🤤🤤🤤👅👅👅👅

i cant believe i can still be a freak and u all would still talk to me like aww shucks..

BRUH HIS EAR IS BLEEDING 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

LET ME GET HIM PREGNANT NOW

Nymph, I'd just like to make you aware that your work is the sole reason why I'm back on Tumblr and you just cannot understand the excitement I excited when I saw this notification or when you responded to my comment on ao3 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Ily please don't explode ❤️❤️❤️

something about us [XX] "parasite" — a preview!

summary: this snippet includes part of a scene where the reader sets up a photoshoot for a merch drop featuring the lunch club members.

warnings: slightly nsfw joke

notes: FINALLY finished this monster of a chapter! it's really long because it sets up the current "arc" ending and the next one beginning, so it's... kind of a roller coaster of emotions. below is the only part of the chapter that i felt was fluff-ish enough to include as a lighthearted preview, so make sure to buckle in when you read the actual chapter because... oh boy. it's a lot.

Returning from the postal office (where the Lunch Club P.O. box was now up and running in hopes to receive packages from fans in the future, thanks to you, of course), you held the most important package in your arms three weeks before the start of TwitchCon.  Inside this large hunk of cardboard were the finalized versions of the new merch that you had painstakingly worked on throughout the past spring and summer.  It made it past weeks of reviews, tweaks, and packaging delays, and was finally in your possession, ready to be distributed to the boys so they could finally promote a project that had been on the works for months.

In the basement's common area, you spent most of the morning by yourself, working on setting up a photoshoot area for the group using a backdrop screenprinted with a repeating minimalistic pattern of the official Lunch Club logo — courtesy of a manufacturing company Ryan suggested weeks ago.  By the time you finished setting up the studio lights borrowed from Ted, arranged a couple of chairs on the set, and unpacked the box of merch to take a peek inside, most of the group had finished eating brunch upstairs.

Ted was the first to come down, since he was the one with the camera you would use for the shoot, so he was the first one to be spoiled by the surprise.  "Woah," he's taken aback by the set at first, bewildered by how official you made it look despite the very limited supplies you had.  "This looks really professional for only costing, what, like, two hundred bucks?  And my lights?"

"One hundred and eighty bucks, actually, with shipping and taxes," you snarkily reply, placing your hands on your hips with pride.

Ted lets out a halfhearted laugh, then after fiddling with his camera, hands it over to you.  "Take good care of her.  I've had her since the beginning of film school, she's practically my baby."

You wrap the neck strap around your head gently, and offer Ted a thumbs up while looking down at the camera screen, trying to orient yourself to its panel.  "We're all good to go, I think.  If you could bring all the boys down for me, please?"

"Yes, madam," Ted beams, then suddenly runs up the stairs, shouting, "Alright fellas, get all of yer asses down here right now!  We're aboutta' start rootin' and shootin'!"

A distant drawn out "yeehaw" (likely from Charlie) above you makes you roll your eyes.  These boys never ran out of ways to make noise echo throughout the house.

One by one, each of the Lunch Club members step down into the basement with 'oohs' and 'aahs,' until all of them convene in front of you and are now ogling the box behind you.  Methodically, you explain that you would start with getting shots of each member with their respective pieces of merch, then you would get photos of each of them wearing the group merch, then a few group pictures with all of them together: one set with their group merch, and one set with them wearing whatever they chose to wear.  All of these stills would be displayed on a new merch website that had already been prepared in advance by one of Schlatt's web developers he worked with, but you also intended to get some short candid video clips of them just goofing around and chatting with each other that could be used for a video promotion that could go on their channel.

If all went well, they could start promoting their merch exactly one week from now, and by the time TwitchCon rolls around, the manufacturing company should have enough pieces shipped to Ryan to be sold at the Lunch Club booth.

The shoot went as well as expected.  Each member had their turns modelling their own pieces, with the remaining boys being hypemen behind the camera.  As each session went by, you had a difficult time containing your excitement.  Your art and your designs were on official pieces of merchandise that people all over the world had access to.  You were directing a photoshoot, which granted, you had never done before nor had interest in, but for your first time trying it, each member seemed happy with the results when their mini modelling session was over.

Of course, when Schlatt's turn came around, you took the opportunity to get him in certain poses that accentuated his features.  Partly for you to shamelessly stare at his good looks in your own time, but also partly because you knew a certain part of his audience would be more inclined to support the merch drop if he looked overwhelmingly handsome in his own clothes.  If he could take advantage of you being a woman in his Love or Host show, you could take advantage of him being eye candy in clothes you designed.  More money for the group.  Everyone wins, and the score will be even between you two.

"Let's have you lean a little onto that back leg, and put your left thumb in your pocket...  Then just look at Travis behind me...  No, chin a little more to your right.  There you go.  Intense stare, and…" you directed the tall man, as you kneeled on top of a nearby stool to compensate for his height.

"Can you roll up your sleeves a little, like so the hem goes about an inch below your elbow?  Then just do that exact pose again...  Yep, that's it.  No, stop giggling.  You're serious.  You're calm.  You're serious."

"Sorry." You’re unsure what is so funny, but he stifles his laughter, then settles into the same pose as before.

"Okay, then can I maybe get you on the stool?  Yeah, just sit like you normally would.  Push your right knee outwards a little more, then let's get your elbows resting on your knees.  Yep, and then clasp your hands together, and lift your head and look towards Trav, but not too much?  You're trying to showcase your hat, so only let your eyes look up at him, not your entire head.  Chin to the right.  Perfect."

"I feel like you're shooting a fucking porno of me," he tries to contain his laughter.  "It's like you're recreating that one face reveal photo of me looking up at the camera,"

"Just trust the process, J," you roll your eyes as the shutter snaps a few more times when he closes his mouth.  "Here, you wanna look?"

You open the camera's preview gallery and show the rest of the boys first, who burst into a roar of overexaggerated gasps and whistles.

"Holy shit, he's hot!" Charlie moans, pretending to fan off his face.

Schlatt pulls himself off of the stool and meanders towards you, reaching a hand out to ask for the camera.  Once you give it to him, and he clicks through the photos, he raises his eyebrows in approval.  "Holy shit, I am hot."

"You sure are, handsome.  Now get back in that damn chair, we have more porn to shoot," you tease.  He shakes his head, chuckling as the boys keep cheering him on, chittering in excitement for his newfound confidence after seeing himself on camera.

read the entire chapter here, or start from the beginning here.

Honestly, FIREEEEEE ❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗

NSFW below the cut (i am not one to jumpscare <3)

_____________________________________________________________

self shipping is so fun hahahahah.,,... im never seeing the gates *gulp* ( @the-slimebox and @snazum as promised )

beyond cooked yall

You're still a square for me 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

why the fuck does my tumblr look so weird. why am i a circle. what is going on.

Absolutely real

I hate my brother and I hate his friends

I don't think anything would change other than the name ✋😔

what if instead of reddsl1mer it was reddcumm3r and he came all the time

absolutely valid

im kicking my roommate out, hes drinking flavoured water with a spoon like its cereal what the fuck

mlem ^~^

call me a waitress the way i need his tip

meowwww :>

call me a waitress the way i need his tip

M E O W :3

call me a waitress the way i need his tip

m r e o w ?

call me a waitress the way i need his tip

p h r o g

call me a waitress the way i need his tip

had a weird dream that schlatt (like current him btw) just shaved off the mustache and chops and was still a lil thick but otherwise a twink. He didn’t look half bad but it still was strange. That’s all

YES I MWAN STAR YOURE THE STAR OF MY EYES 🥴🥴🥴

(I'm sowwy 😭😭😭)

had a weird dream that schlatt (like current him btw) just shaved off the mustache and chops and was still a lil thick but otherwise a twink. He didn’t look half bad but it still was strange. That’s all

Luz i most definitely agree 😍😍😍

had a weird dream that schlatt (like current him btw) just shaved off the mustache and chops and was still a lil thick but otherwise a twink. He didn’t look half bad but it still was strange. That’s all

OHHHH sounds fun but I'd probs gag so bad istg ✋😔😭

Thoughts on soup?

certain ones: very good!! for taste and health benefits

chicken and stars was my favorite as a kid :)