Many New Parents Are Delighted To Discover That If Left To Their Own Devices For Long Enough, Their Children

if i’m ever brutally murdered and everyone feels like they need to do something productive in my memory, all i want is for you to pass legislation banning LED headlights in my name. regardless of how irrelevant it is to my murder. it’s relevant to my heart.

Do you really think it's fair of you to hate your parents for making you exist?

I think everyone should hate my parents for making me exist.

So anyways with the rapid rise of fascism I feel it’s a good time to point out that it’s perfectly legal to follow unjust orders slowly, badly, or inefficiently

Don’t care + didn’t ask + boobs bounce when i walk

i feel the most stable i’ve felt in i don’t know how long and i’m crying on my bathroom floor, hair half dyed, begging a god i’m not sure i even believe in to please let my intuition be wrong

if you’re suicidal and you know it clap your hands…

if you’re suicid-ALRIGHT WHO THE FUCK CLAPPED

ducks on skateboard coffee is horse

lions are very mean and like jellyfish