Does Melatonin Make Anyone Else Have Extremely Weird But Real Dreams? I Woke Up In A Cold Sweat Because

my prediction for riptide is gill and chip somehow survive the hole in the sea, mangled and fucked up but alive. and as soon as they come back home the giant gold taxes fish fucking eats them for not paying their 100k in debt ever

you can hold my hand (if no one’s home)

pairing: chip/gillion  genre: slight canon divergence warnings: riptide 90 spoilers , they kiss sorta lol , minor depiction of injury wc: 913

it’s terrifying how lifeless gillion looks in the water. chip’s eyes burned as he held his breath, scanning around frantically for something, anything to do, to free him from the unconscious vice admiral’s grasp.

kuba kenta may have been killed on impact by gillion, but the sheer will of the enormous creature transcended life and death, and so somehow he was still holding on to the other unconscious boy.

and gillion looked awful. his armour, which he’d left back at rufus’ place, was unable to protect him from any of the damage that kenta had given him. the strikes across his chest, the same as the ones chip kept seeing in his sleep, were scorched, bubbling and angry and red. his head leaned back, his eyes closed, scratches all along his blue arms. 

it felt so wrong, to see gillion looking this awful underwater. the water was where gillion should have felt the safest, should have the most advantage, should be trying to get chip to break his concentration and breathe on accident. but he lay still, his neck in the teeth of kuba kenta’s large grip. 

there was something happening around them, jay was in the water too, along with the blonde girl with a horn in her forehead, that jay seemed to know. but chip ignored the both of them and swam towards gillion, where the two girls were trying to pull both the vice admiral and the co-captain up. 

gillion looked almost ragdolled in the vice admiral’s grip, and chip swam over now too, his eyes streaming in the salt water, scanning for anything that could help the two. 

they were still sinking, and both the blonde girl and jay were falling with them, despite their best efforts to swim upwards. chip patted his pockets, coming up empty, before swimming down to reach the pair, getting his hands on jay’s bag, and tugging it towards him, searching inside of it. 

pulling out a glass bottle, chip stared at it, before looking up at jay, and jerking his head towards gillion, thinking furiously in his mind. “i’m gonna give this to gillion, i’m gonna give this to gillion, i’m gonna give this to gillion.”

the bracelets that linked jay and chip ensured that she would hear his message, and she stared at him for a moment, her orange hair floating around her in the water, before nodding. 

chip swam down to the two of them, gently tugging gillion out of kuba kenta’s teeth, wincing to himself as his fingers gently brushed along the indents that the vice admiral had left in his skin. moving to uncork the bottle, he suddenly realised that if he was to open it, the liquid would spill everywhere, and therefore be rendered useless. 

suddenly aware that jay was able to read every single thought that floated across his mind right now, chip tried to push away the solution that entered his thoughts, feeling a flush bloom across his cheeks. 

he pulled his knife out, and desperately tilted the bottle, trying to make a hole for gillion to drink out of, instead of the first thing that he’d thought of. 

a sudden, but not harsh kick interrupted his thoughts, and jay was behind him, glaring at chip, with the most ‘what on earth are you doing?’  face he’d ever been given. 

he knew that she’d heard his original idea, and she pointed at gillion with her chin, gesturing for him to hurry up. 

and chip looked back at gillion, who shouldn’t be this still, ever, and put his knife away, before uncorking the bottle and shoving it into his own mouth. 

pushing as much of the potion into his cheeks as he could, he could feel the magic swirling around his tongue, and pressing against his throat, and he shook his head to himself before swimming closer to gillion. 

thankfully, he didn’t have to worry about gillion swallowing any water. it was just the same as air to him, and chip mentally prepared himself as he tipped gillion’s head towards him, his hands warm with embarrassment.

his cheeks puffed with the potion, chip pulled gillion close, and carefully opened the other boy’s mouth, prying his lips apart, before pressing his own against them, forcing the potion down the triton boy’s throat. he could feel gillion’s chest expand underneath him, and chip’s embarrassment mounted as gillion’s breath hitched. 

eyebrows scrunched in concentration, his eyes shut, chip didn’t stop until his mouth was empty, and carefully, so he didn’t accidentally inhale any saltwater, pressed his lips shut, and pulled away, examining gillion for any sign of life. his lungs burned with exertion from not breathing, and he didn’t know how much longer he could stay like this, holding his breath, his hair floating around him.

and when gillion’s eyes opened, chip’s shoulders slumped with relief, and he wiped off his mouth, storing what was left of the potion back in jay’s bag.

his inability to face gillion, combined with his need to breathe air made him look up, and swim as fast as he could, breaking the surface of the water and drinking in the ocean air, thankfully. 

and just as a precaution, chip furrowed his eyebrows, and thought to jay, ‘we are not talking about this. if you bring it up, i swear to god, jay, i will-’

he didn’t know what he would do, but he would definitely jump off the ship to avoid looking at gillion.

Really enjoying the sheer number of times that Chip and Jay are experiencing the exact same trauma and the trauma is terrible things happening to Gillion Tidestrider that seem to effect them way worse

Something just occured to me. Circling through each beautiful moment in the campaign, I noticed a pattern. Gillion never initiates hugs. Every time, no matter if he is the one consoling or the one being consoled, he never is the first person to offer an embrace. And I think it says something.

When Jay wants to hug Gill, she always asks first. She opens her arms as an invitation and always gives him a clear sign that she wants to be close to him. And any time she offers, anytime Gillion gets permission, any time he feels like he is allowed one, he clings to her desperately and fully, starved for it, finding himself unable to let go too quickly, savoring it like he isn't sure when he is going to be allowed to have another.

Chip's hugs are unprompted and usually done with just as much desperation. They are completely controlled by emotion, and are a form of a language that Chip uses when love and appreciation cannot be expressed by words anymore. Chip never asks for hugs, he takes them. He needs them, so he is scared to ask like Jay does, cause asking means risking to be denied. It is safer to steal it. In contrast Jay is still asking cause she is still afraid of taking love for granted.

But they both, in the end, ask for hugs and comfort in their own ways. Gillion doesn't. He wants it, he needs it so often, but he never dares to ask for it. Cause he still treats love as a reward that he needs to earn, that he is not allowed to ask for, that can't be had, unless he does something that makes him worthy of being loved. Affection and love is a currency and Gill was taught that he needs to fight for it. That it's something he should never dare to request on his own.

How many times on their journey did he need to feel someone else's body close to his, but his lips were sealed, suffering in silence, thinking he Has not done well enough to be given the privalage of being comforted? How many aches and worries did he swallow down and burried deep inside? How many old wounds is he trying to fill with every single hug he receives, when someone else offers it to him? When he dares to take it, when he grips their clothes in an iron grip, trying to make the best out of it before it's gone? Cause who knows when someone allows him to have that again?

The only person Gill ever hugged first was Edyn, the first time in Allport. It was done with the same ferocity of a hurt child, of a little boy who Has been going through hell and his sister is his only remedy. The only person that always lets him have love for free. The only one he knows he can hug for sure. One who for so many years has been the only source of comfort.

The rest of the world is uncertain and even with Chip and Jay, Gill still strives to fulfill the unsaid cryteria of when he is worthy of their affection.

But I know that with enough reassurance and care, he will be able to ask for love himself and start treating his crew as people he can fall back on. And just so you know, the moment in which Gillion is the first one to hug Chip or Jay is going to make me cry like a little baby.

_______

Edit: more thoughts occured

Did you notice that Jay always seems to match Gill and Chip when it comes to hugging? She never asks Chip for hugs and takes them the same way Chip does, no matter if she is the one seeking or offering comfort. And the same goes with Gill. Regardless of whether she is the one in the need of comfort or she is the one comforting, she always verbally communicates a desire to hug first. Like she kinda feels that this is what Gillion needs from her to accept it.

So maybe Jay is actually always trying to search for the most effective way to get a hug, to increase her chances. She believes she has to, cause she cannot take love for granted anymore, not after Ava's death. She took her for granted and now she is gone. So now Jay struggles to freely express her own desires and instead clings to all the ways that she thinks guarantee her the affection she needs, an act of desperation in its own right. A silent plea for acceptance.

Each Captain on this ship treats each embrace as a treasure to savor and protect. It's a result of their past and their fears, but also a proof of unyielding love they have for each other. It's beautiful and one day the same love that they still dread to take, will heal them.

The Vees ABSOLUTELY do the rainbow capitalism bs irl companies do, except all of them are ACTUALLY queer so its even more effective than it is irl bcuz "they wouldn't take advantage of us, they're gay too!" Unfortunately rhey are still takinf advantage of queer people. Diversity loss the evil capitalists profiting off of your identity are all some flavor of queer.

sharpshooter for mermay

ignore my friends note 😭🙏

I had an epiphany

thinking about how edyn was described as having an identical face to gill and chip found it attractive. thinking about chip using gills inspiration being used before they even met meaning that they were connected to eachother in some way. thinking about "chip you take 38 psychic damage as you realise what you are". thinking about how chip being instantly attracted to any woman ge meets might be for show (comp het or smth i never read any dialogue on destiny islands) thinking about how the nat 20s in the nat 20 kiss were for how genuine the kiss was. thinking about just how much they care about eachother. that only gillion was able to put chip back on the path to being a pirate and pull him outta his funk. thinking about the fact that chip was more concerned about gill's safety around felipe than jay or gillion himself was.

tl;dr: chibo never beating the allogations

hey. its ok. gill's loud wet real fish slippers. edyn has a matching pair 😌