What's Wrong With Him (derogatory)

Something just occured to me. Circling through each beautiful moment in the campaign, I noticed a pattern. Gillion never initiates hugs. Every time, no matter if he is the one consoling or the one being consoled, he never is the first person to offer an embrace. And I think it says something.

When Jay wants to hug Gill, she always asks first. She opens her arms as an invitation and always gives him a clear sign that she wants to be close to him. And any time she offers, anytime Gillion gets permission, any time he feels like he is allowed one, he clings to her desperately and fully, starved for it, finding himself unable to let go too quickly, savoring it like he isn't sure when he is going to be allowed to have another.

Chip's hugs are unprompted and usually done with just as much desperation. They are completely controlled by emotion, and are a form of a language that Chip uses when love and appreciation cannot be expressed by words anymore. Chip never asks for hugs, he takes them. He needs them, so he is scared to ask like Jay does, cause asking means risking to be denied. It is safer to steal it. In contrast Jay is still asking cause she is still afraid of taking love for granted.

But they both, in the end, ask for hugs and comfort in their own ways. Gillion doesn't. He wants it, he needs it so often, but he never dares to ask for it. Cause he still treats love as a reward that he needs to earn, that he is not allowed to ask for, that can't be had, unless he does something that makes him worthy of being loved. Affection and love is a currency and Gill was taught that he needs to fight for it. That it's something he should never dare to request on his own.

How many times on their journey did he need to feel someone else's body close to his, but his lips were sealed, suffering in silence, thinking he Has not done well enough to be given the privalage of being comforted? How many aches and worries did he swallow down and burried deep inside? How many old wounds is he trying to fill with every single hug he receives, when someone else offers it to him? When he dares to take it, when he grips their clothes in an iron grip, trying to make the best out of it before it's gone? Cause who knows when someone allows him to have that again?

The only person Gill ever hugged first was Edyn, the first time in Allport. It was done with the same ferocity of a hurt child, of a little boy who Has been going through hell and his sister is his only remedy. The only person that always lets him have love for free. The only one he knows he can hug for sure. One who for so many years has been the only source of comfort.

The rest of the world is uncertain and even with Chip and Jay, Gill still strives to fulfill the unsaid cryteria of when he is worthy of their affection.

But I know that with enough reassurance and care, he will be able to ask for love himself and start treating his crew as people he can fall back on. And just so you know, the moment in which Gillion is the first one to hug Chip or Jay is going to make me cry like a little baby.

_______

Edit: more thoughts occured

Did you notice that Jay always seems to match Gill and Chip when it comes to hugging? She never asks Chip for hugs and takes them the same way Chip does, no matter if she is the one seeking or offering comfort. And the same goes with Gill. Regardless of whether she is the one in the need of comfort or she is the one comforting, she always verbally communicates a desire to hug first. Like she kinda feels that this is what Gillion needs from her to accept it.

So maybe Jay is actually always trying to search for the most effective way to get a hug, to increase her chances. She believes she has to, cause she cannot take love for granted anymore, not after Ava's death. She took her for granted and now she is gone. So now Jay struggles to freely express her own desires and instead clings to all the ways that she thinks guarantee her the affection she needs, an act of desperation in its own right. A silent plea for acceptance.

Each Captain on this ship treats each embrace as a treasure to savor and protect. It's a result of their past and their fears, but also a proof of unyielding love they have for each other. It's beautiful and one day the same love that they still dread to take, will heal them.

Jonah Magnus seemed to receive two types of letters

1. Hello friend I recently experienced something sinister and since you have that funky institute of yours, I thought you’d like to hear it

and

2: NO JONAH WE CAN’T KEEP HOOKING UP, but here have an account of my experience with something horrific, DON’T CONTACT ME AGAIN

chipjustfuckingexploding.gif

no glitter version <3

you cannot break what is already broken

shooting star 🌟

“Colin? The computers are acting gay strange again..”

Bonus: Profile pictures for you and a lonely/ceaseless watching friend

"You can’t separate us, not unless we’re willing to do so."

chips ride home

OK but the poster literally told us everything we need to know about these two and the finale.

The position of their wings makes absolutely zero sense. They would have to arrange themselves in an uncomfortable way to tangle them like that.

And look at them.

They are shielding each other with their wings.

Aziraphale's wing is over Crowley, and Crowley's wing is over Aziraphale.

And they do it even if it's a tight fit, uncomfortable, and slightly cramped. It would be better if they turned and faced each other if they wanted to shield the other with their wings.

But no.

They are so focused on protecting the other person that they have completely turned their back to them. So focused on enveloping the other and have them close. So focused on shielding them that they don't see them.

Even in the other posters

Their wings are scrambling. They are a mess. Feathers are falling as they attempt to embrace the other person. They don't meet in the middle. They don't turn towards each other. They don't listen to each other. They don't stop for a second and discuss what would be the best way they could protect each other.

They are so overtaken by their love for the other person that they fail to receive the love they are shown back.