Mia-rules-me - ✨miarulesmylife✨

I wanna find someone who makes me feel like I'm listening to my favorite song when we're together. 🖤

It’s all I see all around me

I am not capable of healing. Every single thing that has hurt me and caused me pain or broken me in some profound way has distorted into this wound that bleeds at the slightest touch

I wish I knew what happiness felt like

A part of suicidal ideation or self harm no one talks about is the numbness to the subject that comes with it. I sit and scroll through pages and pages of cries for help, suicide notes and plans and feel nothing. No worry, no concern, no crushing feeling in my chest. Nothing. Those familiar feelings are now replaced with a strange familiarity, a kind of comfort that it’s not just me.

Fuck. When did it get to this

I want hollow cheeks and sunken eyes. collarbones that stand out. arms that look like they would snap if I picked up something too heavy with hands that look skeletal. thighs that don't touch and calves that don't jiggle. I want my hips to be sharp and my pants to barely cling on them. I want to be able to count all my ribs and my stomach to cave. my hands would shake , my body freezing , my vision spotty and head spinning when I get up. I wouldn't be scared to sit on someone's lap or be picked up. I want it so bad

well explain me then, if starving is bad for me why it feels like i became a god

Ok, I don't hate EDtok, but i hate their perception of purging???

Like I'm not cute when I'm done vomiting my brains out, thanks, im crying and heaving over the toilet, wiping splatter off my everything, shaky hands and dribbling spit

Shits nasty, not a cute aesthetic lil "put my hair up and pat my lips with a tissue"