Mikan-28 - Sans Titre

I need to talk about this exchange:

Look at Aziraphale's face and tell me if he was actually talking about real, honest-to-somebody oysters.

That first little 😳 face of his? To me, that screams, "Did this demon just tell me he's never had sex?" Then he flicks his eyes up Crowley's whole body and his microexpressions seem to say, "Oh, dear Lord, he thinks I'm talking about actual oysters."

And then this pretty little angel who just propositioned a demon is probably internally panicking about needing to find actual oysters now because there's no way he can take this virgin to the Roman orgy like he was planning.

And Crowley is over here just as clueless as always.

Credit to @dailyineffablehusbands for the gifs

You know what would be kind of interesting.

Assuming in the show Second Coming means damning Demons to eternal sulfur…

So we have Gabriel who’s openly in love with Beelzebub now. We have Aziraphale who took his job and let’s say he will not be told that carrying out the Second Coming means damning Crowley and other Demons to eternal torture.

But Gabriel can’t fucking have it now. He knows what it means. That’s Beelzebub who’d be taken away from him.

Imagine. Gabriel. The absolute prick of Season 1. Being the one grabbing Aziraphale by his fucking jacket and shouting at him that he wants to torture Gabriel’s love.

“I can’t believe you’d do this to Crowley, but I’m not letting you hurt Beelzebub!”

Would you mind but i’m dropping that, you’re welcome !

Took 3 hours on it 👍

So I went to my therapist the other day, and later in the appointment I mentioned that I like to write self-insert fiction to cope. I also said that I generally hide it and felt embarrassed mentioning it due to the way people treat the concept online.

She said that self-inserting yourself into art and writing is an incredibly healthy way to feel good about yourself, and that she was appalled when I told her about the way it’s mocked on the internet.

So never feel bad about self-inserting or enjoying reader insert fanfiction, 1/1 professionals agree that it’s good for you and that the jerks who say you’re doing something wrong are just uneducated and don’t understand. Never listen to the anons who try to make you feel bad <3 

Have a really nice day!

Pt III good omens but i STILL SOMEHOW haven't watched it (and i'm increasingly passive aggressive)

i'm now basically held hostage adopted as mascot by this fandom. it's fine i'm fine *SIGNALS FOR HELP DESPERATELY*

Alright fuckers I swear this time I'm going to get some shit right. Without further ado, here's my third attempt at a good omens summary:

Everything everywhere is queer all at once

Angel Aziraphale and demon Crowley on earth likey each other

The car is a bentley and it is BLACK not silver and everyone is very upset about this. my bad yall it was reflecting light therefore i guessed more silver than black but I'm not Anish Kapoor take your black.

Then it is yellow, and aziraphale likes it. crowley preferred the black because he's a flamboyant emo.

God is a deadbeat absentee parent and you are all children of divorce.

There's a naked archangel and they cause problems for the husbands somehow. By being naked? By being an archangel? By being at their doorstep? Who knows not me

They were actually married for 6000 years, they just are the last to know about it.

Crowley is on fire. Like, he's slaying for sure, but also he is literally on fire, like Aziraphale's bookstore.

The actors like I said before are Michael Sheen and David Tennant but this is the place where I finally admit that I don't actually know who is whom. I'm going to assume Michael is Aziraphale because Michael sounds angel-y and David is Crowley because uh Michaelangelo made David and was gay for him.

Terry Pratchett is not fictional.

He co-wrote the book with @neil-gaiman, who IS fictional, because he does not have social media. Several of you have assured me that he is in fact a fandom inside joke. I like to think he would be proud of me.

They adopt a preteen and Crowley gives him bad advice.

At some point a baby was delivered to someone and was exchanged for the son of Satan. Idk if the baby is the preteen, or the son of satan is the preteen, or neither. This could be a fanfic, I have no way of differentiating the fanfic from canon on tumblr, except that the canon is weirder.

Crowley does not go down a chute. He goes down a telephone cord after making himself microscopic to pole dance on a pin with shroom-induced backgrounds.

During this his stage name is Disco Tony. Get it king go slay you're making better life choices than I am tbh.

Aziraphale is a biblically accurate angel, and you have all gone to extensive lengths to prove this to me. I understood nothing, but there you go.

It's all very queer, just like the fandom.

Crowley is a retired demon but he still sins by breaking the speed limit.

They eat at fancy restaurants and bicker but like in a sexual undercurrent way.

Crowley gives Aziraphale a private dance that is not a lap dance, it is an apology dance, but not in a kinky way, until it is.

Their haircuts keep changing and range from 'this is acceptable and gay' to 'i let a drunk chimpanzee take gardening shears and a blowtorch to my hair'

It's all ineffably queer my good fellows

Everyone keeps trying to convince me Neil Gaiman is the villain yeah no guys I know it's really you. Y'all be like 'SEASON TWO BROKE ME' and then you're making headcanons to make it sadder yeah I see you mmhm.

There is a final fifteen. It is sad. What is it? No one told me.

The demon turns goats into crows and the angel turns them back and then children are turned into newts (does the angel turn them back? who cares not yall) and the demon was the snake in the Eden garden and everyone's furry game seems to be on point.

There are a rather lot of children. I have not seen them. But I am assured they are there. They are, guys. I assume they were turned into the alcohol Aziraphale and Crowley drink or something.

There was an apocalypse plotline. It was averted. It is not important. You don't talk about plotlines in this fandom, no sir.

Crowley doesn't want to go to heaven. Aziraphale is sad.

The kiss is not nice, just like this fandom. It is queer, just like this fandom. It is sad and desperate and masochistic, just like this fandom.

Aziraphale doesn't want to stay back with Crowley. Crowley is sad.

Season 2 ends. Fandom is sad.

Everyone's sanity is hinging on the promise of a happy ending in season 3. Good luck guys.

Y'all better appreciate this. I can't even boast to my mother about this legacy of mine, hey mum your son has been held hostage kidnapped inducted into a cult adopted by a fandom he's not part of look he's winning at life.

I love how when they meet in fics Crowley tends to be a bit to rude and dismissive of Aziraphale in his 'im trying to be cool and mysterious' way but in the show on the wall in Eden Crowley is like 🐍🐍 omg an ANGEL 😍😍 let me tell u a joke and get a good look at u 👀 wanna make you laugh show me that beautiful smile 🤩🤩 ohh you're such a good angel don't worry sexy!! ❤️❤️ How about we criticize God's plan and run away together 😏😏😏

Sometimes you’re just too close to see the big picture. 

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Inspired by Adam’s aura :) Also, see how much I love you guys? I drew backgrounds.

I will never get over the fact that Michael fell for David along with the rest of us

And it is APPARENT

the sluttiest thing a character can be is crowley in a turtleneck