Almost Human

Fic Idea

Sam keeps making fun of Dean for using hookup apps cause he thinks his profile is cringe. Dean says it works and that it's hard to find people his age anyways

An argument happens and ends with Sam saying he could totally find Dean a date easy as pie

Cut to a week later, Sam sets Dean up on a blind date with someone at a restaurant that is too nice for Dean's liking. But he's here to prove Sam wrong.

Besides, Sam said he would pay for it, but that if things go well, Dean has to pay him back with interest

Only Dean's reception puts him at the wrong table with some dude in a trenchcoat. And now he's thinking this has all been one massive prank by his brother

Meanwhile, Castiel, after having a shitty week, decided to treat himself. The restaurant had a specially honey cake, and damn it, he deserved it

But before he can even order, some random guy sits at his table, asks Castiel if "Sammy" put him up to this, and is overall being a pain in the ass

Castiel is tired, Dean is frustrated, and Sam is back home, confident that Dean would like Cassie Robinson

but this pain I recognized as a just retribution

i don’t remember purgatory arc but i assume this is how introductions went

What was I made for?

dean would absolutely lose cas at grocery stores and go around asking people "hey have you seen a little guy in a trench coat? 'bout yea high? [hand at his shoulder] peach fuzz, devastatingly handsome? sensible shoes? just kind of a weird, dorky little guy?"

everybody is on the lookout for some short, questionably dressed mystery man and meanwhile cas, 6' tall, shaped not unlike a shot putter, is standing at the checkout scrutinizing the tabloids like "...i'm not sure there's any veracity to these claims" while the cashier's register throws a fatal error bc she accidentally lasered him with the barcode scanner and it saw infinity

I love that cas’ autistic energy is so endearing to everyone. eileen loves him, mary called him one of her boys, sam is always grinning at him, meg was IN love with him, rowena calls him tweety-bird, bobby adopted him and treated him as a son immediately, claire loves him and created a weird father-daughter relationship with him (even though he is wearing her dead father’s body #ripjimmynovak), jody and charlie and kevin and jo and ellen all liked him. and obviously, most of all, dean, who met him once and decided he wanted him around forever.

the end scene of pride & prejudice 2005 when mr darcy is calling lizzie mrs darcy over and over and kissing her between each time but it’s dean calling cas mr winchester over and over and kissing him between each time

the fact that this isn't even all of the times he died i had to cut out a few (incl. the one i do not legally recognize)