Has Anyone Done This Yet

outrageous.

can relate.

heartbreaking. you have to write the fic youre writing in order for it to be written

There are a lot of posts comparing Peeta to Lucy Gray's kindness and charm and how that similarity torments Snow, I get it but I disagree. At least, I don't think that is how Snow sees Peeta.

Peeta's biggest fuck you against Snow is his love is pure, genuine, sacrificial AND it paid off. She loved him back. Peeta is literally Snow's "you wish that was you huh, lol". THAT is how Peeta tortures him.

Because Peeta was everything Snow couldn't be: trusting, vulnerable, expressive, selfless. All he had to do is be himself and somehow he still won and got the girl.

and many graces. the hunger games, m, peeta/katniss. (2 / 3). 18k.

On screen, a dead version of him kisses Katniss on the forehead, looking at her with such gentleness that he can almost feel it in his chest. “We tried to take care of each other,” he says, softly. “Sometimes.” “Sometimes,” Haymitch echoes. “When you weren’t trying to kill each other.”

What Peeta holds onto when he loses everything else, and what he finds after. (Or: Peeta hijacked, Peeta rescued, Peeta recovered.)

in my next life, I would like a chance to be soft - and not get belittled

or shamed

or dismissed

or laughed at for that.

i would like a chance to be bold and loud, bright and boisterous, and covered in glitter, in kisses from those I love - from head to toe - in sunlight, to get so free and unrestrained that all little parts of me would get a spotlight in this world at least twice

(one of them for this life, where I am lost and scared, and empty, always empty)

I would like to live unafraid.

- sure of my place, of my wants and dreams, of my words.

- not trying to reach out to everyone and thinking that I am healing some part of myself that wants being held and cherished, being seen, known, and remembered.

it would be such a nice life.

but in this one

i can't afford to be soft.

it's so heartwarming to read fics where Ekko is all patient, level-headed, and painfully tender with Jinx.

makes me question whether I have finally turned cold, pessimistic, and heartless when I smile reading them, smile through the tears and think of how much work it would take for them both to allow themselves being soft again.

Jinx, who believes that she is a bad omen, killing and bringing misfortune to everyone she cares about and who cared about her.

and Ekko, the leader, the inspiration, the boy who became a savior before he became himself - always managing, strategizing, settling conflicts, always putting others first... because what good could ever come his way, he is a lost cause, he is damaged, he lost everyone and all that he's good for is to build and care for others so that they would never experience this - or, at least, experience it later.

for him, the world, Zaun, his people might have a chance, but Ekko... he turned himself into a tool and almost lost hope for his life, for dreaming, feeling, being soft, reckless how a teenager and a young adult are, and not as a rebel leader who sticks his hand into every trap for it not to harm his people.

how cautious it must have made him.

friendly and social, and ever cocky and confident on the outside, but closed off on the inside.

how much effort it must have taken him to really coexist with Jinx in the same space, caring for her - and for himself for the first time in years.

trying to believe and accept that this time she'd stay, that they can have good things together...

for all of that to blow up in his face.

all.

over.

again.

if you recommend me a good zutara fic ill kiss your cute lil head

what is a love story if not falling to your knees and pressing your shaking hands to his wound, as if the desperation of your heart could stem the blood pumping out of his; and what is a love story if not holding out a sticky-sweet handful of death to the greedy cameras; and what is a love story if not your one wish being to send her home, with all the reasons why hanging golden around your neck like a willingly-worn noose; and what is a love story if not hitching yourself to the puppet strings of politicians in a last ditch attempt to save each other across the miles; and what is a love story if not the ever- unspoken mantra “take my life: take it, take it, take it” — and what is a love story if not the burned and blistered realization that offering up your life is not enough, not quite, but that offering your lover’s life back to them might just be? so you plant her primroses in the ash, and you mend his mind with the thread of new memories, and it isn’t pretty, but it is a love story — because what else could it be?

"My nightmares are usually about losing you. I'm okay once I realize you're here" - Peeta, Cathing Fire

once the quell starts, every kiss between katniss and peeta is so soft and natural. a light kiss before parting for the quell (cf, 75). another one as a greeting in the arena (cf, 77).

and, like almost everything katniss and peeta do in the quell arena, it is reminiscent of a married couple. two people who know each other so intimately and deeply that kisses and affection become a part of their routine.

and after the intensity of the beach scene, their relationship takes on a new softness, returning to that married-stage with a new reverence.

and so when katniss takes peeta's face in her hands and kisses him before they split up at the end of the quell, it parallels the kisses that peeta gave to her before the quell began (cf, 105). the ones that acted as a reassurance that they would see each other soon. the ones that promised reunion.

but, of course, the rebellion had other plans. and katniss and peeta never did get a reunion kiss. 

and so, at the beginning of mockingjay, katniss is left sitting on her bed. rocking her body as she rolls the pearl between her lips. still waiting for her reunion kiss. weeks later. trying to sooth herself with the memory of peeta (mj, 32).

and that is what makes it even more tragic when katniss runs to kiss peeta after his arrival in district thirteen. because it seems like she will finally get the reunion that she has been waiting for. the one started with the kiss under the lightning tree that begged to be resolved (mj, 152).

but it didn't resolve. because her peeta doesn't show up. and instead of a soft kiss, she get bruises.

so, she is still left holding onto the pearl, trying to remember the boy with the bread (mj, 168). the one that she feels is so far away from her. the one still in snow's grasp.

and katniss gives up. she wants nothing to do with the stranger that bares her beloved's face. 

but when it truly seems like she might lose her precious boy with the bread forever in the winding capitol tunnels, she leans down and kisses him fully (mj, 267). 

and this kiss is not like everlark's soft, routine kisses. or their empassioned kisses like the beach scene.

instead, the kiss hidden deep in the capitol tunnels is one that solidifies the two lovers together. one that is begging him to stay with her. one that is pleading for him to not let snow take him away for good.

it is a kiss meant to remind peeta of who he is. and who katniss is. and who they are. a kiss that is meant to say everything that they don't have time for. 

a kiss that signals an ultimate, long-awaited reunion.

I love "idiots to lovers" trope so much because I am an idiot when it comes to romance and being loved,

yet I want to be loved

desperately.