Student Studying Under A Tree, Bryn Mawr, 1966 | Via Bryn Mawr College Special Collections

₊°｡❆ Winter digicam nostalgia ₊°｡❆

every time i start a new journal or any creative project i'm like, yeah i'm gonna do it pretty and neat and in a cohesive aesthetic because i always wanted to be the neat kid with the color-coded notes at school but i'm just not. when you go through my journals you can literally always see the point where i unravel back into the scrungly forest goblin that i am and it's so funny to me

i'm starting to accept that romantic love is not for me. i was never supposed to have it. maybe because i yearn for it so badly, it is not for me. because if life ever taught me anything, it's the more you want something, the less likely you are to get it. it's how that one saying goes: everything i cried and begged for never ended up serving me. and it's true, it never did. not even once. i always walk away with damage more than anything else. and i'm tired of it.

"Don't wait for it," I said. "Create a world, your world. Alone. Stand alone. Create. And then the love will come to you, then it comes to you. It was only when I wrote my first book that the world I wanted to live in opened to me."

Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin Volume I 1931-1934

watery room 2, with my sleeping puppy

chat how do i kill the desire to be wanted and chosen before it kills me

I need to pull myself together in a very very very kind way

i saw my elderly neighbor in the pharmacy while picking up some stuff for my stitches and i was never particularly close with her or anything but she and her husband have lived in the apartment complex since i moved in, i think they just moved in right when it was freshly built like 40+ years ago. and i overheard her talking to the cashier about hoping her test results come out well and it just dawned on me that she's gonna be gone too one day and i don't know...the passage of time makes me feel more melancholic and defeated than usual these days

if you don't walk in the rain at least once in a while you're not really living