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people want instant gratification in everything meaningful these days and it's a major reason why a lot of people feel lonely all the time.

it's not just the aftermath of the pandemic it's also the general prevailing mindset these days, fueled by unrealistic expectations that are created when we rot in front of our screens for too long. the system is set up against us but at the same time we have to realize we still have control in not letting it get to us.

it takes a lot of time to build meaningful connections with humans. you're not gonna make any friends if you don't go out there and make experiences and meet people just for the sake of it, without expecting someone to be your bestie after a couple weeks of knowing each other just because you like them. and you're not gonna have a fulfilling longterm relationship by swiping a couple times on an app or trying to get into somebody's pants after meeting them a couple times. going into socializing with a transactional mindset like that is why "nobody knows how to talk to people anymore".

every single meaningful relationship in my life was built with patience, mutual understanding and time. the people who i decided i want to have in my life wanted to genuinely know me, not just collect me like an experience.

what's even more important is that you also have to know how to be by yourself in this world confidently and i'm not talking about "embracing being single" or being a loner/going monk-mode or whatever the fuck people call it these days.

i'm talking about being in touch with the world when you're outside, soaking in the small things, the little interactions, the quips and quirks of your home town and whatnot. just go out and live for yourself for once. how often do we really feel connected to what is happening around us when we're walking down the street to grab a coffee? there's nothing more important than to get to know yourself and know how to have fun by yourself or at least know how to feel at peace when you're by yourself.

what i'm trying to say is, it takes a bit of an effort to be friends with yourself and with other people and that's okay. and this comes from an introvert who used to suffer from extreme social anxiety and was never popular or had a lot of friends in school. the friends i made i'm so grateful for, but i made them over the course of almost 30 years. not in a couple months or days.

as always, nobody has to agree. just felt like putting these thoughts somewhere.

i don't get how goals work i've never had a target goal i just flow through life like a little leaf being carried by the wind

actually your thirties are your twenties and your twenties are extended teenage years

Benno Kögl

“in order to create loving males we need to love males” means teach boys that they can be themselves without being less of a man. it means being encouraging and nurturing of their emotions so they don’t become cold and hateful. it means showing boys, early in their lives, that they have value outside of what our society deems proper masculinity. what it doesn’t mean is that it’s our job to handhold men who see women as walking sex toys through the concept of empathy, and maybe if we’re really really nice to them and don’t say things that hurt their feelings they’ll stop killing us for saying no

[gripping the sink] perfectionism does not help me avoid embarrassment or shame. perfectionism is in itself a form of shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame

i still have no words

THIS IS CRAZY ENHYPEN 🔥