My Languages
My Languages
part 1
in order of when i picked it up. I grew up in an english speaking home, had friends who only spoke english, and really did not get any conscious exposure to another language until i was around 7 years old. my great grandmother on my mom’s side, married into the family, was a lovely woman from Tokyo whom we called Chick. she awoke my interest in other languages and cultures. i was eager to learn japanese from her, and she taught me some. just a few sentences here and there.
it wasn’t until middle school that i really got back into languages. i remember feeling excited for moving to high school, and being able to take french. i told my father over dinner at one of our favorite mexican restaurants, where he, my sister, and i would almost ritualistically go to [until it burned down]. he was quite irate that i had fancied french over spanish, and understandably so. spanish is much, much more common and useful in the united states than french is. however, i couldn’t be deterred. i was naturally drawn to french, and that’s what i would choose. i primed myself using google translate, looking up random words here and there. i would go on to study it for four years in high school. i was the top of my class, and everyone knew it. i just simply loved french and was good at it. i was fortunate enough to take IB French (international baccalaureate) which i can’t brag enough about. ib was awesome. like a breath of fresh air compared to the crap american standardized education feeds us. well, anyway. french will go along to become my major in university, not so much due to passion or interest, but because it’s common enough that it’s a major at most universities. france isn’t my favorite country and i don’t really want to live there. i’d choose quebec or luxembourg or belgium first. but hopefully it serves me well.
japanese was my other focus. in middle school i got into anime (death note specifically) besides already being madly in love and obsessed with pokémon and yugioh. i attempted to teach myself katakana. i remember thinking my name kyle would be キユレ kiyure, cuz i didn’t know how katakana worked back then. it’d probably be more like カイヨウル. however aside from that i didn’t really have much more need or pressure to learn more. the high school i would later go on to offered japanese, but for some reason that escapes my memory, i never took it. i ended up taking four languages in high school, but japanese was not one of them.
i guess this would be a good segue into spanish. but back to japanese first. i would later study japanese in college, centre college, to be exact. im thankful i did because i was able to write my great grandma chick a letter with the japanese i had learned. she was living in north carolina with my grandma and step grandpa, as she lay dying. i wasn’t able to see her before she passed, but my grandma said she loved my letter and wouldn’t stop mentioning it. lol.
synchronicitly, my japanese professor would be an awesome mormon man who i would have a good rapport with, because i was passionately mormon at this time in my life. and he was pretty awesome. he probably just thought i was some dumb kid, and i was. but if you’re reading this brother dixon, おはようございます！「元気ですか？」
i supposed i have lied, though. i forgot that i studied spanish in elementwrycschooo. so i did have exposure to foreign languages. we did not take spanish in middle school though, which is odd and embarrassing tbh. but i would later take spanish in high school for three weeks, before i dropped it because my class mates were pronouncing me llamo like... mee lahmo. not may ahmo like literally anyone should know by now.... so i switched to chinese.
inspired by avatar the last air bender, and an anxious and impulsive desire, i signed up for chinese class to get away from the heathens who didn’t know elementary spanish. why i didn’t ask if japanese or german was available, and honestly now that i think of it, i may have. at least one or the other. i distinctly remember being told chinese was available, and i just took it. so began my journey with 中文.
spanish was too easy and nothing about spain or south america really draws me. i do like argentina though, and catalan seems interesting. and definitely portuguese, but that’s not spanish!
before i continue on that though, let’s rewind. my knack for languages was already blossoming in middle school, even though i hadn’t had any formal study besides elementary school spanish from señor ramos. i told my dad as we sat together at the dinner table that i wanted to learn five languages. i was surprised later when he brought it back up, because i didn’t think he had remembered. looking back, i guess that is kind of unique. not many people have that desire, let alone accomplish it. in america at least.
well i still remember those languages. i believe they were japanese, french, german, spanish, and danish. yes. undoubtedly those were it. which one doesn’t belong? lol. danish, i know right? which is why we need to rewind. my love for denmark probably isnt worthy of its own post, but i will leave off here, and pick this up later. i gotta go to school, hun.
xx gossip girl
More Posts from Moonsquaremars and Others
i had a premonition dream of mr jones i dated summer ‘23. it was truly the white trash love fantasy i always wanted. sucked it didn’t last longer.
but i had a dream jacob and i were putting art in the back of my car, paintings. at nighttime. real late at nightt. in an urban environment. i felt uneasy because it was late.
fast forward, i saw a gun and immediately jolted up. awake.
but what did it mean.
i didn’t carry art or paintings in my car for several months. i interpreted it i would get robbed while paintings were in my car.
looking back, i did get robbed in the end.
once i got closer to meeting my prince of cane run, i was confused. i hadn’t been talking to jacob. but i couldn’t help but think about the dream more and more. it was close to manifesting.
one night in old louisville, the dream comes true.
the baron of pleasure ridge,
side to side, with the prince of cane road. they put a painted, old
ikea bed headboard
in the back of my 2008 kia suv. it’s midnight.
*britney spears voice* holy fuck balls. i turn from my trunk, take it all in. ethereal. the dream is coming true.
jacob was just a substitute i guess because you can’t dream a face you haven’t seen. and they both were bottoms who couldn’t keep up the act. jacob sure ain’t shively though. cane run and i shared toxic habits and played a long game of cat and mouse, ensuing the borderline disorderly explosion. or episode.
but truthfully i see it was message from universe ou spirit, that i could not successfully integrate my drug addiction or drug use like i had been trying.
the best i could hope for was a sexy overweight but psychotically unstable, south side BOTTOM. bear. on drugs. security guard. bitch ass [REDACTED].
the end of the dream signaled the end of my summer fling, the summer i turned 27. the summer i became a MAN. jk unless.
on a warm, late june afternoon. my dad and three of his friends surround me, as we ascend his front yard. we walk up the pebbled concrete steps.
Lee knocks on the front door. we’re at the house of the man who had just held me hostage. bruised my neck. the week of our birthdays. odd timing. i have a bad history with birthdays though.
(psych ward @ 21)
we hear a bullet enter a chamber. cocked.
time to go.
Arthur Rimbaud, from The Complete Works of Arthur Rimbaud; "A Heart Under A Cassock,"
I wish age gap discourse hadn't spiraled the way it has because I want there to be a safe space to say "Men in their 40s who date 25 year olds aren't predators, they're just fucking losers"
Maurice Sapiro (American,b.1932)
Atlantic City, 2018
oil on canvas
I've had an extremely turbulant emotional life, which I can attribute to many different astrological aspects + placements I have.
It's been strange coming to discover as I get older how much of my world is inside my head, though. How many times I've assumed something, had meltdowns, only to later find out 90% of it was in my own head.
Moon square mars, like my blog suggests. My other blog was sunsextilemoon, but after tumblr flagged my account for adult content, I figured it was best to start over so I could still have reach.
Moon square mars makes one passionate and headstrong. I read that it is similar to the relationship between Cancer and Aries. Cancer, the emotionally nurturing, sensitive, going head to head with the impulsive and self expressive Aries. Aries was always one of my least favorite signs. My sun is in cancer, and moon in virgo. I've always been surrounded by Saggitarius, that's my favorite sign. But I always saw aries as childish and insensitive. I had a roommate, coworker, and someone who has become a best friend who is an aries. So my aries prejudice has been tamed a bit.
I would attribute my intense anger problems to my moon square mars. I don't struggle with it so much anymore, but as a kid, if somebody accidentally hurt me, I would come back at them twice as hard. Like ruthless. I also constantly struggle, on a day to day basis, with this inner conflict between what I 'feel' like I need to do, vs what I want to do. I usually let want win. Sometimes I can get too lost in my feelings, I guess because of my 12th house sun.
Moon Square Pluto.
This aspect I think gets me in a lot of trouble. It's not intentional, of course. But I definitely feel the emotional block. I will be fine, things will be going alright, then out of nowhere, a wave will come and completely knock me off balance. I'll get so overwhelmed and almost hysterical. Sometimes just super moody. and then when it's over, I'm like, what the hell happened? there doesn't seem to be a concrete cause or trigger. It just happens. I'm 27 and it still just happens.
The 12th house placement I think is a blessing and a curse. I sense the strangest of things, and have spiritual gifts. but I've been to the psych ward more times than I can count, and my daddy a crackhead who is also a 12th house sun. I love him of course, but the 12th house energy is obvious. His house has a feeling of being a hut on a deserted island, yet it's in the middle of a subdivision surrounded by other houses. He just gives me tom hanks castaway vibes, even when he's surrounded by society.
I take various drugs and medications to help tame my turbulant emotions and achieve my goals. I do weed often, because it helps with my temper. I'm also extremely impatient. I feel like weed puts me in touch with my moon. You'd think that'd be a good thing, but when your moon squares your mars and your pluto, it can cause some problems.
I also have Sun Square Saturn, which quite honestly, is a PAINFUL placement.
I've had terrible, terrible, terrible depression for most of my life. Completely sucks the life out of me. Apparently saturn can deplete the energy of the sun, and I get depleted baby.
I went to a church service on time, and the preacher said something about "misery being a ship that needs to set sail, instead of being avoided" and that really healed me. I feel like I got so scared of my depression, my own mind and thoughts, I would run around manicly just doing WHATEVER I could so I would not feel that way anymore. I was so scared of it. But sometimes you just have to sit with yourself and your emotions, and grit your teeth.
In all I feel like my sun sextile my moon really saves me. It gives a balanced personality, since the ego and the emotional nature are in such harmony. It's funny because my dad, close friends, and boyfriends almost always have sun trine moon. My little sister also has sun sextile moon. If it weren't for this, I'd probably be much worse off...
Erik von Ploennies started painting in 2004, after visiting the Guggenheim Museum in New York. He says that it was because of the impression made on him by Vassili Kandinsky (“Painting with white border”).
Erik is a graduate in electrical engineering and has no artistic training… He is originally from California, but moved to Brooklyn, New York in 2007.
Although he is self-taught, Ploennies quickly stood out for his originality.
https://deconstructing-aesthetic-forms.weebly.com/erik…
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ASTRO OBERVAciones
merc in gemini gives someone wit.
merc in 11th can indicate being good in foreign languages
cancers have a little walk they do. like they kinda scuffle, move slow. cancers give themselves away to me by their walk.
cancers also have a distinct mouth. it’s like their teeth and how protrudes out a little.
scorpio operates on an intense vibration. other signs will recognize the tension and may take offense. but that’s not always the intention. it makes one better tolerate the bullshit.
aries will say what everyone is thinking. even if it’s not polite. but it’s just pure expression, innocent almost.
gemini will say something just to make you mad. but will say something teasingly to show you’re above it.
leos can be surprisingly cold.
sagittarius to me has a noble spirit. esteem, honor and reputation. adventurous, exploration. but also want to have a good time and is not afraid to dive into the party.
sagittarius features are long, tall cheeks.
the most recognizable part of a sagittarius is their jovial and grandiose attitude towards things. it’s contagious. famous.
many presidents have had sun in 10th house.
stelliums run in the family / people who are close to you.
mars might give more to physical attributes than we’ve been lead to believe o.0
houses 1-6 are more small town / rural farm
houses 7-12 are more big city cosmopolitan
libra brings the divine to earth
virgo is the seeds that are sewn
the body we carry
sun in 12th feels like a repellent. like an energetic barrier is between you and how you relate to others. imposed space. lone wolf. like when you put the same sides of a magnet together, but with other ppl.
STAND YOUR GROUND
EVEN IF YOU shake & tremble
nimble nimble
jack be nimble
OH MY GOD
DO I HAVE
A PIMPLE
sauce it up
do too much
ain’t enough
ain’t enough
Gerhard Richter, Clouds, 1978
