“You Will Always Remember What You Were Doing When It Hurts The Most.”

“You will always remember what you were doing when it hurts the most.”

— Ocean Vuong, from “Night Sky with Exit Wounds: “Untitled (Blue, Green, and Brown); oil on canvas: Mark Rothko: 1952"”, originally published c. 2016.

♇ Thoughts on P L U T O ♇

I just woke up from a dream about an old boyfriend. We haven't spoke in five years. It had a very intense & dramatic ending. I lost nearly 25 pounds following the breakup, because I started new psych meds that had bad side effects, and I was so depressed I basically was letting myself wither away.

I just looked at our Composite Chart. Turns out we have Pluto in the 7th House. The house of Libra, the house of Relationships, Marriage. I believe it also rules the courts. Libra is about balance, finding resolution in relating to others. The 7th house is the start of the 'external' energy in the zodiac wheel. The first 6 houses are internal, about the individual. Then, the energy starts to look outwards. How you fit into society, the world, at large.

Looking back at our chart, it makes sense. Seeing Pluto there, he taught me a lot about what is appropriate in social relationships. In a very intense way that I won't get into. But I sure learned my lesson. Painfully so.

My Natal Pluto is in my 5th House. This is said to make one obsessively pursue art, or self expression. The 5th house also rules recreation like sports, but also your posterity/children. I do obsessively try to 'create' content to post online. Graphics, photography, poems, blog posts.

Perhaps Pluto shows where you will learn your strongest or most intense lessons.

Here's our composite chart. The fact the Sun was in the 5th house makes sense. I have Pluto there. I always had a vision of me gardening when I thought of him. Our composite sun is in Virgo. Gardening is so virgo.

Seeing the end of our relationship, and that we haven't spoke in 5 years. The Venus opposite Sun makes sense. He was also very nurturing towards me and helped take care of me. Moon in 4th. He was successful and helped me be stable and go to work and stuff. Jupiter in 10th. Jupiter is expansion and fortune, 10th house is house of career and profession.

Neptune in 9th and Uranus in 8th make sense too. We both shared mystical ideas and had a lot of mystical experiences. I suppose the Saturn and Pluto placements show the lessons he taught me. Our relationship taught me. Over personal property, home life, and relating to others in society.