Linguistics Notes // Decolonization · Language Revitalization

Maya Kulenovic: Rain (Interior), 2017

oh tempest. as pluto never quite leaves me the f*** alone, i’m gonna turn my attention to saturn for a second.

sza’s song literally touched me. i’ve been listening to her for years and she always comes out with songs that get me.

well, ya boy has so far survived his saturn return. i survived 27 by a thread, with the help of a very aries individual. he took me traveling around the country and helped me see things differently. helped me grow up. after all, 27 is when i realized i was no longer a kid. that summer was kind of my last ‘hoorah’. i was gettin deep in my lohan era, but eventually the queen herself had to step her p*ssy up and now she runnin a night club in greece. what more could you ask for? she dipped and recovered mighty fine. we could all learn from lindsay.

alas,

i’ve already spoken on my sun square saturn aspect. made me depressed af. but a sermon at a baptist church talked about misery being a ship that needs to set sail, not something to necessarily avoid. hearing that soothed my soul.

now that i’m older and the rules of the game are changing, one aspect of mine that is rather confusing, is that my north node (destiny point) in libra 3rd house, opposites my saturn in aries 9th house.

everyone talks about saturn return and how it’s hard and ruthless but you come out better and more mature from it. lord knows i am as impulsive as the rest of them, and have gotten burned quite a few times now. however, if saturn conjuncts my south node, or where i feel ‘comfortable’ but need to get away from, what could that possibly mean?

south node in aries means i’m very comfortable being confident in myself and other aries traits, but im here to learn the way of libra, that is relationships and compromise and society and rules. not just being so head strong and independent. saturn being here kinda throws me off. if yall have any suggestions, i’d like to hear.

currently i am faced with a dilemma involving my higher education. it seems my 12th house ways have led to the possibility i will not finish my bachelors degree. my crippled moon in the second house isn’t offering me too too much.

we’ll see what happens. i can’t seem to stop talking about astrology though.

i’m looking at his natal chart. even though we aren’t together anymore, i can’t help myself. i’m still struggling to make sense of everything that has happened, but i’m slowly accepting distance as the reality. there’s just something about him.

we both have five planets in retrograde. his are the outers. i have venus, no saturn, plus chiron or something. i’ve always liked the fact i have a lot of retrograde planets, and most people don’t have more than one or two. our charts really are like a mirror.

i found the source for his violence and emotional power games. it’s his mars conjunct saturn, both in twelfth house. i admire him for that. since my sun is there, i’m no judge of the chaos the 12th house brings. i seem to live in it and enjoy it. our relationship was quite twelfth house after all.

but supposedly mars & saturn connections can bring a penchant for harshness and cruelty. quite frankly, that kinda turns me on. i do have a bunch of squares to my moon & pluto after all. i thought the arguments we had were fun. i have a gemini stellium and he has a gemini moon. it wasn’t fun and games for him though unfortunately.

i remember when i saw his qi energy one day in his back yard. qi energy is something i see on people sometimes, like their spirit energy. for him, it was a quick glimpse like the right side of his face was rotting. his eyeball was missing and it was like creepy. it was quite scary come to think of it, but somehow it transferred a light to me. and i don’t recall feeling too scared by it.

but after that, i began seeing a light in other peoples eyes occasionally. it was like a “hey, i’m here for you. i’m not judging you” kind of light. i think me seeing his qi energy gave me that light, to help me move forward when i get so depressed. and as i would come to find out, the 8th house is the house of “rot”. and he was my eighth house sun.

Sagittarius Eclipse Thoughts

Sagittarius is an important sign for me, because many of my family members, close friends, my ex, and my dog are all sags.

being a cancer sun, we crave comfort and emotional sensitivity. sagittarius is kind of contradictory to this, never being comfortable and always looking to expand. my virgo moon also isn’t very harmonious with this, always wanting things to be organized very neatly and concretely, but not everything can be.

It’s ironic because my only placement is with pluto in the fifth house, but given its aspects to my other planets, and the fact my mom’s a scorpio, I could be considered a plutonic person. Not to mention my sagittarius grandmas moon is in cancer, and i am a cancer sun.

my draconic sun is in sagittarius, and that’s supposedly what your “soul” is. your natal chart is what you are in this lifetime. my draconic moon is in aquarius, and that’s funny because i have an 11th house stellium, which is aquarius’s house. i’ve always liked sags and aquas because i feel so pulled down by my emotions sometimes. im not sure if that’s due to just depression or the fact my sun squares my saturn, which is in the 9th house, the house of sagittarius. my sun is in the 12th house, and honestly i’m learning to love that placement.

i’m writing this post because i can definitely feel the sagittarius energy. last night i felt almost manic, like i NEEDED to move and get out and do something. like it was a strong pull. and that reminds me a lot of my early twenties, how i never can quite stay still. for a cancer, i’m definitely not a homebody! perhaps this is due to my pluto, which is a very energizing planet.

that’s all i have for now, i’m just kind of mapping out my own life and noticing coincidences and patterns through astrology. it’s pretty interesting :)

mars in scorpio will take you to hell and back, that’s for sure.

my mom is a scorpio, and i have a lot of pluto aspects, so i guess it adds up. i’m a wittle cancer. and a lunatic 12th houser.

have dated two men with mars in scorpio. each one scorched me. power dynamics within the relationship. definitely invigorating, but lead to an intense end.

Frederiksgårds Skole (1949-52) in Copenhagen, Denmark, by Frits Schlegel

all too relatable

You ignite my heart aflame to burn in vain