Remus Is Honestly My Only Motivation To Draw These Days But I’m Not Complaining

Water - 364 words

This month’s @wolfstarmicrofic prompts are exercise themed and sooo many of them scream chronic illness to me so here is the first of several chronic illness microfics! This one featuring dysautonomia (: CW for implied internalized ableism.

All Remus can think is that he needs water. He’s overheated, sweat leaking from every pore. He’s dizzy, lightheaded, can barely think straight. All he can think is he needs to sit. He needs to cool off, needs to breathe, he can’t breathe.

But he and Sirius need food. He convinces himself he can handle paying for the groceries. Remus slumps forward, forearms resting heavily on the handlebar of the cart, head ducked, steps slowing to a snail’s pace.

He’s fine. He can do this.

The fog is already permeating his brain, replacing healthy gray matter with empty gray mist. It’s hot in here. He needs to pay. He can’t think.

Remus is clumsy in his scanning and bagging. He’s dizzy. He places the bags into the cart, ignoring the way his heart and lungs and shoulders scream, and heads straight for the door.

The chilly air hits Remus’s skin. It makes him sweat more. He hasn’t put his coat back on, carrying it instead.

When he reaches his car, he tosses the groceries inside carelessly. Despite how unsteady he feels he forces himself to walk to the cart corral and put his cart away.

Finally Remus folds himself into the driver’s seat, head falling against the steering wheel as he tries to breathe.

Five minutes pass, then ten; Remus only feels worse.

He hates himself for even considering it–hates himself more for doing it–but there aren’t many other options.

He reaches for his phone with shaky hands.

“Hey baby, what’s up? On the way home yet?” Sirius’s voice is energetic, excited, loving.

All Remus can manage is a little whimper.

Sirius’s tone changes instantly to worry, concern, still love. “Baby? Are you alright?”

“Feel sick,” mutters Remus.

“Should I come get you?”

Remus hasn’t even begun to consider answering when he hears the jingle of keys through the phone.

He sighs, then whimpers again. Sirius takes it as the yes it (reluctantly) is.

“Be there in ten, Moons. Deep breaths, okay? Remember, you have water in the glovebox.”

Remus manages some pathetic sound and the line goes quiet.

He pulls out the water he had forgotten about.

Sirius is coming.

He’ll be okay.

I do think people should embrace blurring the line between strong platonic and romantic love. I think time spent with loved ones these days is time well spent.

hii :) for the ask game 🥺 & 🛒 pls <3

hello! sorry it’s taken me so long to get to this <3

ask game here if you’d like to ask me something!

🥺 - Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

yes, definitely, and i think it’s a lot of the same things that get me as a reader too. caretaking, especially when it’s remus’s chronic illness. accommodating each other’s needs like it’s second nature because they know each other so well, whether that’s something major like helping with mental illness or disability symptoms or something minor like grabbing their favorite snack at the grocery store. remus blushing and hiding and sirius trying to coax him out of hiding. all sappy things really lmao

🛒- What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

ummm i will once again mention remus blushing HAHA and just getting flustered/being pathetic generally. not so much in brtc but in lotf and my other wips. obviously disabled/chronically ill remus. usually i write fluff so i will say it’s a common theme, but not always. hmm this is hard. i don’t think about this stuff much to be honest! i fear this may be a boring answer but hopefully you still enjoy it haha

thanks for the asks xx

My Wolfstar is so extremely obsessed with each other nobody understands. Nobody “fell first” or “fell harder” they fell just as fast and just as hard, simultaneously like two idiots tripping over the same rock. It’s not only love but mutual insanity. They’re so obsessed with one another it’s embarrassing and maybe even a little concerning.

i just don't think that people should have to disclose their deepest and most life-ruining traumas as a requirement to write about sensitive topics

Recent sketches <33

disabled remus and reformed dickhead sirius.

sirius who has to LEARN to take care of remus, to not rush off, to not assume he can physically keep up. remus who uses a cane and sirius who at first is kind of embarrassed to be seen with him in public (because of his “never show weakness” upbringing), but who also immediately glares at anyone who looks funny at remus. sirius whose boundless energy both enchants and exhausts remus, who has to learn how to take care of his boyfriend when fatigue catches up with him. sirius who is forced to learn to be comfortable with the quiet (which is actually good for him). sirius who researches remus’ conditions (chronic fatigue, arthritis, problems that the doctors still can’t diagnose) to better learn how to help him. sirius who comes with remus to his appointments, or drops him off with a kiss, depending on how he feels.

remus who can sense sirius’ embarrassment, who snaps at him for it more than once. remus who softens when he finds sirius asleep as his laptop, fifty tabs open to different medical websites and forums. remus who can see how much his boyfriend is unlearning his own prejudice, and working to take care of him. remus who has never been taken care of so fiercely and purposefully, and who loves sirius for it.

My loves <3

💌 how do you feel about comments/ feedback? Or whats kind of comment would make you happy?

ooh this is a fun one. i LOVE getting comments and positive feedback!! ao3 comments truly make my day, whether they’re short or long, as do excited replies/reblogs on here.

constructive/negative feedback i don’t enjoy unsolicited, which i think is true for most people haha, but when it’s coming from beta readers, friends i’ve asked etc im usually alright with handling it. depends on how personal the writing is and stuff though! sometimes it’s hard!

probably the kinds of comments that mean the most to me are ones from people who are disabled, or trans, or asexual, and relate to the representation i write in my fics. the rep is authentic to my own experience but it’s really comforting to hear that other people from the community also feel that it’s authentic, plus it’s nice to know i’m not alone when sharing certain things. like with brtc, i was super nervous about the trans rep because that remus doesn’t really align with a more common or normalized trans experience. he does align with mine, though, so it’s really lovely to hear from other trans people who also relate to that. i also get super excited when people point out little details or specific lines they enjoyed and stuff like that, but truly i get unbelievably excited at every single comment

thinking about wolfstar and that headbutting thing dogs do