Ive Enjoyed My Rotting

an old description writing

23rd jan 2024

but this is from like december i wanna say (13th november to be exact)

There is no wind. the salt is carried up to my nose in thick waves, no wind to blow it away. i slam the car door, old paint and rust crumble into my hand like ironic summer snowflakes. i swipe them away, turning to focus on the sea. the stone ledge burns and its sharp corners scrape my legs. i say nothing.

Almost i lie and say i see france, the shiny, salt coated swimmers paddling thier way across the channel, small sun-scorched children mimic french revolutions with sandcastles and cruel older brothers kick them over, revolution hungry seagulls swoop down chopping the heads off of chips. i remember the winters of gulls nesting far from the beach, where snow meets sand and the winter bite takes my mind away from the nausiatingly still day.

i remember winter, not too long ago, not long to come. violent whiplash between small giggles bubbling up from the beach and silent crunches of snow. grease lined smoke, thick smells and some gauge nostalgia always will break for crisp cold air, smoke rises from your mouth as you speak, i wish i could hear you speak, to ice capped waves, to salty snow, to frozen stone ledges where your clothes stick. you always hated summer and so i will in some Machiavellian remembrance of the person i used to know.

an alarm rings on my phone, the parking meter has run out. cold coins fall into the machine, ill have another hour. maybe ill plunge into the sea, swim as far as i can and stare back at the landscape of families and umbrellas, comedically oversized for the children underneath. an old church next to seemingly more rundown souvenir shops, the car i remember you driving in, the lampposts you tried to climb, the walls you spray painted. maybe ill go over to calais, join a family there with bright bathing suits and picnic baskets i can almost see now. its beautiful, the summer is beautiful.

anyways,

hey i know i asked for constructive criticism but what i actually wanted was for you to tell me i'm extremely talented. and also pretty. sorry if that was unclear

Something something pomegranate

10th Jan 2024

When you get the seeds out of a pomegranate you should put the whole thing underwater so when you accidentally burst a seed and the juice gets out it disperses into the water and doesn’t stain your hands (unrelated but it looks very shark movie when you do burst a seed underwater) but theres something so sad about it, here i am, tearing you apart, taking your seeds and leaving you without your innards yet your blood is an inconvenience to me, nothing more. you try and leave your mark and all i do is wash you away like it was nothing and your last screams and shouts to stain and claim me, your murderer, are left in reddish water that goes down the drain. seemed kinda poetic.

anyways,

Thinking about girls in vaguely homosexual friendships

31 mar 2024

Thinking about how I used to call my best friend maiden as a pet name and I can’t actually remember what she used to call me but I assume it was some pet name, and how I used to call another one of my friends some variation on honey as a pet name

Anyways,

percy jackson and the olympians? no. percy jackson versus the olympians. he's gonna fucking murder the gods

Kind of a tortured metaphor

12 feb 2024

mummy polishes the floor using surface polish. its really slippery and i fall down alot, currently i have bruises on both my legs. when i ask her to stop so i dont get hurt she yells and gets angry.

quite literally her need for perfection will kill us all. (figuratively and literally)

anyways,

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

17th feb 2024

cannibal chef trope

cannibal doctor trope

cannibal anyone who knows in EXTREME detail about food or the body trope

cannibal chef x cannibal doctor?

that is all

anyways,

i2

imagine him cuddling Sam like this while they’re sleeping 😭 i know she wanted to be that pillow so bad

the stress the nhs would be under is CRAZY

next time I get this obsessive over/start liking a guy, I'm going to voluntarily sign myself into a mental institution as sam puckett did in that now deleted episode of iCarly, iLost My Mind, when she thought she was insane for liking the mr. freddie benson