neboobs
in perpetual existential dread
37 posts
Latest Posts by neboobs
One of these things is not like the others
I can't stress enough how much I miss StumbleUpon
Internet mobs will be like "why doesnt anyone just ADMIT when theyre WRONG anymore??!!" and then treat someone like they deserve the death penalty because they said something off-colour on twitter when they were 14
No one will admit that they were wrong if you treat being wrong like its an eternal indictment against them with no chance for rehabilitation
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In Defense of Peter Pettigrew, Part One:Why he's actually a magical savant, managed to do some truly inCREDible things in a stupidly short timeline, and the passage that BLEW ME OUT OF THE WATER.
It’s no secret that Peter is one of the most universally despised characters in the fandom, second only to Dolores Umbridge (and, in some circles, Severus Snape). Fanartists leave him out of drawings, fic writers leave him out of stories, and Jo herself has denounced him and minimized him at almost every turn in the text itself and in extra content, even suggesting that Peter wouldn’t have been friends with James, Sirius, and Remus at all had Remus not taken pity on him.
Let’s get the usual complaints out of the way up front. Yes, Peter was skilled enough to become an animagus in the first place. The typical fandom excuse is that “the others helped him” (Remus says, in PoA, “It took them the best part of three years to work out how to do it…Peter needed all the help he could get from James and Sirius”), but based on what we’ve been told about how animagi actually happen, it takes both innate magical skill and immense dedication. After all, Hermione is very talented and very intelligent and still needed Harry’s help to produce a Patronus. If Peter had managed to become an animagus in spite of everything, but remained loyal and “good”, no one would be invalidating his efforts.
In that vein, mental gymnastics are constantly employed to defend characters like James Potter or Sirius Black on the basis of being “a good guy”, but Peter is continually dismissed without even the critical analysis that morally dubious characters–like Snape or Dumbledore–typically get.
Peter happens to be one of my favorite characters.
I’m not here to tell you that Peter is A Good Guy and that all this was some big misunderstanding, because I don’t think that’s explicitly true. However, it’s pretty clear to me that Peter is not only genuinely brilliant (particularly in potions), but, believe it or not, somewhat sympathetic. It’ll be long, but worth it. Let’s dig in. First, let me lay out this INSANE timeline to you: Late June 6, 1994: Peter escapes Hogwarts at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban. Between June 6th and sometime in July, Peter: -travels to Albania -tracks down Vapormort -restores Vapormort to a baby body July 1994: Peter meets Bertha by chance in an Albanian inn. He takes her to Voldemort, who apparently tortures and kills her. Between this July meeting and August 20, 1994: -Peter and Voldemort strategize about the information Bertha surrendered. -The Barty, Jr/Moody plan is created. -Peter starts making Polyjuice for the plan. August 20, 1994: Peter and Voldemort go to the Riddle House; Voldemort kills Frank Bryce August 22, 2994: The Quidditch World Cup. Between August 22 and August 30/31: -Voldemort and Peter collect Barty, Jr from his father’s house and move in. -Peter finishes the Polyjuice Potion -Peter and Barty, Jr. go to Moody’s house, overpower him, and Barty assumes Moody’s identity (This likely happens on August 30th or 31st) Evening of August 31, 1994: Barty, Jr, as Moody, causes a disturbance in his own yard; Arthur Weasley goes to check it out. September 1, 1994: The first day of Harry’s fourth year at Hogwarts. Let’s break that down:
June 6, 1994: After twelve years of living as a rat with the Weasley family, Peter Pettigrew is caught out by Sirius Black and Remus Lupin and escapes arrest and death.
The next time we see Peter, it’s August 20, 1994: Peter is at the Riddle House with Voldemort. That means it only took him TWO AND A HALF MONTHS to:
Formulate his plan to find Voldemort/Figure out Voldemort is in Albania in the first place Perhaps because Peter figured–understandably–Sirius and Remus would continue to hunt him, and he wanted protection; PLUS Sirius tells us that the remaining Death Eaters think Peter double-crossed them and intended for Voldemort to die in Godric’s Hollow. Peter knows that Voldemort isn’t dead thanks to Ron’s proximity to Harry during Sorcerer’s Stone. It’s very possible–and somewhat implied–that Peter intended to disappear once he realized Sirius had come to Hogwarts to kill him. Peter/Scabbers is unaccounted for from late October 1993 to June 6, 1994 when he’s discovered in Hagrid’s hut. While he could have left Hogwarts to do some searching, why bother coming back? It seems more feasible that he never left, perhaps using the resources he could find in the castle to speculate on Voldemort’s whereabouts.
Cross multiple borders to get to Albania This is a man who has not only lived as a nonhuman for 12 years, but has lived without magic. He is also supposed to be dead and there is a perceived terrorist on the loose! It would take impressive stealth and skill to leave the country as a magical person when the hunt for Sirius Black is on. You might say he walked out as a rat, but that makes zero sense with our timeline. FIND VAPORMORT SOMEHOW? IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ALBANIAN WOODS? BY COMMUNING WITH THE RATS OR SOMETHING?
At the end of PoA, we know Voldemort’s followers who avoided prison continue to deny their involvement with Death Eaters and, honestly, would have been TOTALLY FINE with Voldemort never coming back. There is literally NO ONE that Peter could possibly get into contact with who could help him find Voldemort. Peter does this entirely solo. Alone. Period.
Another thing to keep in mind: from the time Peter finds Vapormort to the point where Barty, Jr. joins the gang for a brief time (likely right after the Quidditch World Cup), Voldemort was 100% physically reliant on Peter.
And Peter delivered, with no money, no resources, and no wand–at least, no wand at the time he left Hogwarts.
****Bring Bertha Jorkins to Lord Voldemort.****
Here is the moment where it became CHRISTMAS MORNING for me–you can’t imagine my shock and glee when I read this passage. I couldn’t believe no one had seen it before!
Voldemort himself tells us that Peter runs into Bertha before Peter successfully makes contact with Vapormort. Let’s look at what Voldemort has to say in Goblet of Fire:
“But his journey back to me was not smooth, was it, Wormtail? For, hungry one night, on the edge of the very forest where he had hoped to find me, he foolishly stopped at an inn for some food…and who should he meet there, but one Bertha Jorkins, a witch from the Ministry of Magic. “Now see the way that fate favors Lord Voldemort. This might have been the end of Wormtail, and of my last hope for regeneration. But Wormtail–displaying a presence of mind I would never have expected from him–convinced Bertha Jorkins to accompany him on a nighttime stroll. He overpowered her…he brought her to me. And Bertha Jorkins, who might have ruined all, proved instead to be a gift beyond my wildest dreams…for–with a little persuasion–she became a veritable mine of information. “She told me that the Triwizard Tournament would be played at Hogwarts this year. She told me that she knew of a faithful Death Eater who would be only too willing to help me, if I could only contact him. She told me many things… but the means I used to break the Memory Charm upon her were powerful, and when I had extracted all useful information from her, her mind and body were both damaged beyond repair. She had now served her purpose. I could not possess her. I disposed of her. “Wormtail’s body, of course, was ill adapted for possession, as all assumed him dead, and would attract far too much attention if noticed. However, he was the able-bodied servant I needed, and, poor wizard though he is, Wormtail was able to follow the instructions I gave him, which would return me to a rudimentary, weak body of my own, a body I would be able to inhabit while awaiting the essential ingredients for true rebirth… a spell or two of my own invention…a little help from my dear Nagini.”
Take a look at the sections I bolded. Not only did Peter track Voldemort down like a bloodhound, but he assessed Bertha’s usefulness before he even found Vapormort for sure! THIS IS BRILLIANT. Peter, at great risk, brings Bertha to Vapormort. In order to fully understand the rest of my emphasis, let’s look at a quote from Voldemort just a page earlier in that same chapter:
“I was as powerless as the weakest creature alive, and without the means to help myself…for I had no body, and every spell that might have helped me required the use of a wand…”
Voldemort himself, freshly restored to a strong body, tells us that, as Vapormort, he was unable to use a wand. If that’s true, how on earth could he have broken Bertha’s Memory Charm*? He couldn’t have. Peter did. It’s relevant to note that immediately after lying about this, Voldemort makes a point to drive home how useless, weak, and talentless Peter is in front of the whole gang. What a delightful little manipulation tactic.
Bottom line: Peter is REALLY MAGICALLY GIFTED. So much so that Voldemort literally takes credit for it in order to look better in front of his fan club. And he keeps doing this (to Peter and to other Death Eaters) throughout the rest of the series.
(*Reminder that Bertha is the one who told them Barty, Jr. was alive and well and out of prison in the first place; Barty, Sr. was the one who put the Memory Charm on her that PETER broke.)
CREATE/EXECUTE a spell/potion/ritual to get Voldemort into a baby body! Even if Voldemort had offered specific instructions for how to do this (he claims he did, but as I just proved, he’s a goddamn liar), Peter still had to be deft enough to carry the physical steps out perfectly. That requires IMMENSE skill. That’s some Half-Blood Prince-level potioneering. On a semi-related note, Nagini comes into the picture around this time. Coordinate the plan to kidnap Moody and switch him with Barty, Jr. I’m sure Voldemort came up with the main thrust of this plan, but Peter almost certainly made the Polyjuice Potion for this scheme. In his confession, Barty, Jr says that “we” made the Polyjuice Potion, but since Polyjuice takes a month to make, there’s no way Barty was around to help to make it from scratch. Peter did the vast majority of the brewing.
Return to England with Babymort and take over the Riddle House. Friendly reminder that Barty being in the Riddle House with Peter and Voldemort was a movie addition and is not book canon. While it’s logical to assume that, upon hearing that Barty, Jr was alive, that Voldemort would assume he was still eager and loyal, there was zero contact between Voldemort/Peter and Barty until after the Quidditch World Cup.
And then, in late August:
Enact the Barty plan! Holy shit! Peter is the only one strong or mobile enough to carry out this plan, so he would have done the traveling to find/collect Barty (all while physically carrying Voldemort around!) and much of the spell-casting involved in overpowering/transporting Moody. Even though Barty helped with Moody, these are two men who have been essentially imprisoned without magic for years against, as we see, a still very competent star auror. Nothing to shake a stick at.
Between September 1994 and May 1995, Peter:
Continues to nurse Babymort By himself! Barty is at Hogwarts and no one else knows Voldemort exists, although, with the Dark Mark’s getting clearer, former DEs start to suspect. And recall that this job is not for the faint of heart. While Voldemort’s magical skill appears to be mostly intact, Voldemort is too weak to feed himself and is literally being bottle-fed (maybe even diaper-changed!) by Peter. They are each other’s only company apart from an Imperiused Barty, Sr.
Creates (or co-creates) AND EXECUTES a spell to bring Voldemort back to an adult body. Voldemort called this ritual “an old piece of Dark Magic”, but we have no idea if this has ever been done before. Presumably it hasn’t. Regardless, do you realize how enormous this is????
Agrees to CUT HIS OWN GODDAMN HAND OFF
All while being MENTALLY MONITORED and BELITTLED/insulted by, allegedly, the most terrifying evil genius the world–or a least Britain–has ever seen. But this Year Four timeline is its own post entirely.
That extraordinary two-and-a-half month period, plus the bringing-back-of-Voldemort-to-a-body thing, barely scratches the surface of why Peter is so immensely fascinating and (perhaps unwittingly), the most brilliant player in the books.
To be honest, I expected to write one post about this and be done, but SO MUCH STUFF came up during my research here that there is no way one Peter post is enough. Future posts will include: -Voldemort’s relationship with Peter: why did Peter go back to Voldemort at all? There is a reason! -Why did Voldemort make Peter live with Snape? It is so mindfucky and delicious! -Speculation about how the ritual to place Voldemort in a body works (further confirming Peter as a magical savant)
"when talking abt the whomping willow.....could u not have chosen smth a bit less dangerous for a school? like a well-locked door? or perhaps named it smth a bit more scary? like 'death tree?' just so even the stupidest children knew what it was all abt?"
“litanies to my heavenly brown body” by mark aguhar
“The bisexual community should be a place where lines are erased. Bisexuality dismisses, disproves, and defies dichotomies. It connotes a loss of rigidity and absolutes. It is an inclusive term.”
— Martin-Damon, K., “Essay for the Inclusion of Transsexuals”. Bisexual Politics. New York: Harrington Park Press. 1995
sex isn't sexy unless it's a little bit gross. have you forgotten that you are a divine ape? plastic smooth skin, plucked hair, painted faces, scripted reactions, scrubbed til only the smell of perfumed soap remains, proportions that are conflictingly cookiecutter yet unattainable, none of this is even a little bit interesting.
you can laugh at napoleon's "home in three days, don't bathe" letter to his wife, but there's more sexuality in that one line then there is in the entirety of the hypersexualized but painfully unsexy internet.
A wedding in a refugee camp near Khartoum. (Sudan, 1995) - Pascal Maitre
ten lines, ten people
my baby (gc omega #1 <3) @sequinhaze tagged me in this and I went back and forth for a while because I don't actually haaave ten confirmed wips to share. I don't even have ten full ideas, because thinking about balancing that many ideas makes me want to vomit
but I do have these. whether [most of them] will ever leave my drafts is unknown, but what the hell - here u go
rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. if you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.
"The fact that it was a Saturday night in July and the lookout was empty should’ve been clue number one that they were about to be murdered." -> "Grimmauld Pines" a cheesy 80s vampire AU based on The Lost Boys (1987)
"Most evenings Andromeda had to hide that confounding purple Game-kid—Game-boy thingy away in the kitchen cupboard behind not one but two locking charms just to ensure her grandson slept through the night." -> "Teddy Lupin and the Elder Tree" oop a title drop ig
"[Letter written to the author in April of 1963, used to compile the events of the 2nd and 50th divisions of the Royal British Army during the Battle of France in 1940.] Dear Harry, I’m sorry this letter has taken me so long to write." -> Unnamed Battle of Dunkirk AU
"Arriving backstage at a concert stadium the first thing you notice is the smell. It’s overpowering, like an auto shop on fire. or alternatively; “Jesus Christ, that’s a big cock.” -> [Name redacted], Cadence of Part-time Poets, Part 2
no pressure tagging (apologies if you've already done it xx) : @otrtbs @ad-aspera-per-aspera @crushofdoves @waririses @rollercoasterwords @messrsage @wanderingdonut @billspaid @drownedlove @elder-millennial-trash @anouri
Before finishing ur Remus Lupin drawing. Ask yourself. Does he look bitchy? Does he look like a right cunt? Does he look like he read The Bell Jar and found it relatable? Does he look like a stretched out twink? Does he look like he'd spit at a tory? Does he look limp-wristed and dangerous? If you said no to any of these try again.
Hogwarts first year: PART 1
First semester, September to December
🤲
if there's anything at all that's not cadence? like your next project... wink wink
Should I...? Idk... I'm mostly waiting until I've finished Cadence and I can disappear for a little while to write it 👀 All I can tell you rn is:
It's 2009 - Hogwarts has its very first muggle Muggle Studies teacher, the seventh years have started an underground Blackberry BBM ring, there's word going around of students' wands randomly turning faulty in the middle of lessons, rumours of someone harbouring a kelpie in the girls' fourth floor toilet, DADA classes are a total write-off thanks to being taught by a nineteen year-old grad student named Chad, pocket-dragons have become all the rage, and Teddy Lupin has just started his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry 🤭
sometimes I wonder why I never post on here and then I remember that out of the 37 people who follow me 35 are bots
why am I not drawing (I live with my family). I like to draw (I'd kms before letting them see me doing something I enjoy). I want to draw gay people kissing (I need serious psychological help)
masculine women save the earth....
my dad–also a writer–came to visit, and i mentioned that the best thing to come out of the layoff is that i’m writing again. he asked what i was writing about, and i said what i always do: “oh, just fanfic,” which is code for “let’s not look at this too deeply because i’m basically just making action figures kiss in text form” and “this awkward follow-up question is exactly why i don’t call myself a writer in public.”
he said, “you have to stop doing that.”
“i know, i know,” because it’s even more embarrassing to be embarrassed about writing fanfic, considering how many posts i’ve reblogged in its defense.
but i misunderstood his original question: “fanfic is just the genre. i asked what you’re writing about.”
i did the conversational equivalent of a spinning wheel cursor for at least a minute. i started peeling back the setting and the characters, the fic challenge and the specific episode the story jumps off from, and it was one of those slow-dawning light bulb moments. “i’m writing about loneliness, and who we are in the absence of purpose.”
as, i imagine, are a lot of people right now, who probably also don’t realize they’re writing an existential diary in the guise of getting television characters to fuck.
“that’s what you’re writing. the rest is just how you get there, and how you get it out into the world. was richard iii really about richard the third? would shakespeare have gotten as many people to see it if it wasn’t a story they knew?”
so, my friends: what are you writing about?
What AO3 is Named After
I’ve posted about this a few times, but it bears repeating because lots of people don’t even think about AO3′s name.
It’s a reference to A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf, which is a feminist essay about how society stifles women’s artistic expression.
Starting a new series: the Hogwarts years. This is the first chapter, which is the year before going to Hogwarts. Babies... the lot of them ......
So I had a go at a zine.. I am no writer and please overlook the dodgy Photoshop but hey zines are rustic right? (Borrowed some words, hope that's ok!)
This is... well, actually there aren't words. I am just continuously blown away by how talented you guys are. You got everything!!! From the lady with 'Marauders' in her sunglasses to the 'Inner Eye' title (genius, btw) to the photos being taken by Lily. Which I'm absolutely losing it over fr. Even young David Thewlis, I- *sobs*
I saved this onto my computer just so I could blow it up and read every inch of it. It's phenomenal, and you just took my love of zines to a new level. This is absolutely art <3
Doing my daily reading (scrolling through motswolo’s tumblr for any extra Cadence content I can get my hands)
does anyone understand
if you want young queers to want to associate with elder queers then maybe the culture shouldn't be so ridiculous and over the top. I get second hand embarrassment from drag queens and leather daddies and kinksters in puphoods acting like they represent all gays
I would much rather be represented by drag queens, leather daddies and pups than by petulant cowards afraid of their own reflection. You are talking about people who never had the option of being seen as "normal people who just happen to be gay" and channeled their pain into self expression, community and art. And who are you? You define yourself not in terms of who you are and what you create but in terms of who you are not and what you lack. These people you hate only seem larger than life because your life is too small and insignificant to fit them.
I love looking at old zines, like nothing fucking compares. One my favs is "Shocking Pink", a feminist youth-led magazine published between 1979-1992. (Link to all the zines here.) In it they talk about sexism and access to abortion resources, queer and gender rights, lesbianism and LGBT+ bookshops and all-female bands, racism and historical movements, equality for girls/women in trades and youth-led movements in the midst of Thatcher's Britain. If I could tell anyone looking to research this period I would tell them to read the zines made by the people they want to write about <3
‘’–under the muffliato spell ‘’
yepp this is the new fanart with them<3
follow me on ig!! my @ is xodeadlina
I am a sucker for fics where everyone thinks Sirius is this massive player who sleeps around all the time, but in reality he’s Demisexual and a virgin, because he’s only ever wanted Remus, but he’s insecure about it because this reputation got away from him
idc what anyone says the marauders tiktok kate bush “babooshka” era was sublime and i’ll be chasing that high for the rest of my life
