Internet Mobs Will Be Like "why Doesnt Anyone Just ADMIT When Theyre WRONG Anymore??!!" And Then Treat

sex isn't sexy unless it's a little bit gross. have you forgotten that you are a divine ape? plastic smooth skin, plucked hair, painted faces, scripted reactions, scrubbed til only the smell of perfumed soap remains, proportions that are conflictingly cookiecutter yet unattainable, none of this is even a little bit interesting.

you can laugh at napoleon's "home in three days, don't bathe" letter to his wife, but there's more sexuality in that one line then there is in the entirety of the hypersexualized but painfully unsexy internet.

HARRY POTTER 20th Anniversary Thai Edition - cover art by ARCH APOLAR

does anyone understand

sometimes I wonder why I never post on here and then I remember that out of the 37 people who follow me 35 are bots

ten lines, ten people

my baby (gc omega #1 <3) @sequinhaze tagged me in this and I went back and forth for a while because I don't actually haaave ten confirmed wips to share. I don't even have ten full ideas, because thinking about balancing that many ideas makes me want to vomit

but I do have these. whether [most of them] will ever leave my drafts is unknown, but what the hell - here u go

rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. if you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

"The fact that it was a Saturday night in July and the lookout was empty should’ve been clue number one that they were about to be murdered." -> "Grimmauld Pines" a cheesy 80s vampire AU based on The Lost Boys (1987)

"Most evenings Andromeda had to hide that confounding purple Game-kid—Game-boy thingy away in the kitchen cupboard behind not one but two locking charms just to ensure her grandson slept through the night." -> "Teddy Lupin and the Elder Tree" oop a title drop ig

"[Letter written to the author in April of 1963, used to compile the events of the 2nd and 50th divisions of the Royal British Army during the Battle of France in 1940.] Dear Harry, I’m sorry this letter has taken me so long to write." -> Unnamed Battle of Dunkirk AU

"Arriving backstage at a concert stadium the first thing you notice is the smell. It’s overpowering, like an auto shop on fire. or alternatively; “Jesus Christ, that’s a big cock.” -> [Name redacted], Cadence of Part-time Poets, Part 2

no pressure tagging (apologies if you've already done it xx) : @otrtbs @ad-aspera-per-aspera @crushofdoves @waririses @rollercoasterwords @messrsage @wanderingdonut @billspaid @drownedlove @elder-millennial-trash @anouri

my dad–also a writer–came to visit, and i mentioned that the best thing to come out of the layoff is that i’m writing again. he asked what i was writing about, and i said what i always do: “oh, just fanfic,” which is code for “let’s not look at this too deeply because i’m basically just making action figures kiss in text form” and “this awkward follow-up question is exactly why i don’t call myself a writer in public.”

he said, “you have to stop doing that.”

“i know, i know,” because it’s even more embarrassing to be embarrassed about writing fanfic, considering how many posts i’ve reblogged in its defense.

but i misunderstood his original question: “fanfic is just the genre. i asked what you’re writing about.” 

i did the conversational equivalent of a spinning wheel cursor for at least a minute. i started peeling back the setting and the characters, the fic challenge and the specific episode the story jumps off from, and it was one of those slow-dawning light bulb moments. “i’m writing about loneliness, and who we are in the absence of purpose.”

as, i imagine, are a lot of people right now, who probably also don’t realize they’re writing an existential diary in the guise of getting television characters to fuck. 

“that’s what you’re writing. the rest is just how you get there, and how you get it out into the world. was richard iii really about richard the third? would shakespeare have gotten as many people to see it if it wasn’t a story they knew?”

so, my friends: what are you writing about?

Matt Damon explains why they don’t make movies like they used to. Pls watch.

Fic authors deserve more credit.

Story time: I started reading a book about 23 hours ago and just finished it. Also in that time, I slept for 10 hours, spent time with family, was at work, etc. Anyway, I enjoyed the book (Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda,) but it felt like it flew by. So after I finished I looked up the word count because what are pages? Pages are meaningless. I only function in word counts anymore.

The estimate I found was 58,580. My immediate reaction was “oh, that’s why. That’s nothing!” But what a shitty response. Because no. That’s not nothing. That’s a whole. Damn. Book. An entire novel! And fic authors regularly bust out 30k, 50k, 100k, 150k words. AND THEY DO IT FOR FREE. WHILE WORKING AND LIVING THEIR LIVES.

So anyway, thank your favorite fic author today because they deserve it. Because they’re amazing. They’re the MVPs.

why am I not drawing (I live with my family). I like to draw (I'd kms before letting them see me doing something I enjoy). I want to draw gay people kissing (I need serious psychological help)