đłď¸âđ âđťâđźâđ˝âđžâđż18+ ONLY most things here are SFW but some could be NSFW and I donât plan on being banned for your stupidity.20 something, they/them
162 posts
HEADS UP AURORA ILLINOIS
Listen, no one is too old to learn a new skill. No one. The amount of little old ladies that come into the yarn shop I work at and say "can you help me figure out this pattern" or "do you all offer lessons" or "I've just started to learn how to crochet/knit. Can you help?: is amazing. And they sit down and pick up new skills and practice and make mistakes and they *learn*
You are never too old to learn
A lot of people in the US are super worried about the Supreme Court axing Roe v. Wade, but what they might not know is that some states have laws in place that will protect the right to reproductive choice and abortion if that happens. One of these states is the state of Illinois. In 2019, a law was passed that protects abortion rights within the state even if the federal right to an abortion falls. This means that if Roe v. Wade is overturned, abortion will still be a protected right in Illinois. Even before Roe, Chicago was a haven for safe abortions- you just called and asked for Jane.
Now, safe abortion access is the law of the land in IL, and there are several groups who can help you. This post is long, but I think itâs worthwhile. Even if you donât read all the way through it, maybe save it for later. You or someone you know might need it. If you want to stop now, the TL;DR is this:
f youâre a minor and you canât tell your parents, get a waiver of notification from the IL Judicial Bypass program.
Schedule your appointment.
Contact abortion funds to get financial aid. Your home state might have s fund, and the Chicago Abortion Fund can help.
Secure housing for the procedure through the Midwest Access Coalition or by talking to the intake staff at the clinic of your choice.
Iâd like to start by saying that the closer to home you get your abortion, should you need one, the easier it will be for you⌠probably. It depends on your individual situation AND your safety. If I still lived in Indiana and I needed an abortion, Iâd probably leave to get it done, even though there are abortion providers in Indiana, because Indiana is super hostile and thereâs lots of clinic protestors- for example, when I was taking my GRE my senior year at Notre Dame, the testing center was in this little strip mall in Mishawaka next to Planned Parenthood. Despite the fact that the PP in Mishawaka does not provide abortions, there were protestors who yelled at me for going in there. I wasnât even going to PP. Iâd like to say that I said something devastatingly cool but I just ran in flustered. Point being: It really, really would have sucked if I was there for healthcare instead of a standardized test for graduate school. And thatâs a very tame, mild situation! Real abortion clinic protests are often much more devastating!Â
ANYWAYS. The less you have to travel, the easier things tend to be, if itâs safe to get an abortion where you are and if your state will have protected abortions if Roe is overturned. If youâre not sure what might happen in your state in that case, this map has a clear, succinct overview of the legal status of abortion in each state and all US territories. You will want to click through to that link, because this image isnât interactive.
[ID: a map of the US with states and territories sorted by their legal protections for abortion into four categories: expanded access in the case of Roe v. Wade being overturned, protected, not protected, and hostile. IL is highlighted.]
So letâs say you live in any of those red states. (Yellow and blue are safe- abortion access is protected there.) Letâs say, worst case scenario, Roe gets overturned and you get pregnant and you want to terminate. You will be able to do that in IL, and itâs relatively easy to do that in Chicago for a relatively low cost and with the benefit of a robust support network of people who want to reaffirm your reproductive choices.
First, if youâre a minor and you donât want to tell your parents because itâs not safe for you to do so, get a judicial waiver of parental notification. The IL ACLU has a judicial bypass hotline. This will come at no cost to you. Do this ASAP, because it takes time to get it set up! You can do this by calling the hotline at 877-442-9727, texting 312-560-6607, or emailing judicialbypass@aclu-il.org.
Next, you need to get an appointment set up. You could get a referral from someone local to you, but this can be tricky- 87% of counties in the US donât have an abortion provider, and google can lead you to a crisis pregnancy center. They will not help you. If you have a local Planned Parenthood, call them. Even if they donât provide abortions, they can refer you to someone who can. If youâre coming to Chicago, which this post⌠kind of assumes you are⌠you can call any of these groups to talk about your options and what clinics can help you. I recommend starting with FPA or PP; those are two actual clinics. MAC and CAF are funds- they can direct you but they canât schedule an appointment for you.
Family Planning Associates (FPA): 312-707-8988 or use their online schedule tool, found here: https://www.fpachicago.com/schedule-now/ Chicago Abortion Fund (CAF): Phone: 312-663-0338 (note: the helpline is only staffed MWF from 3:30-6:30 PM CST, or email helpline@chicagoabortionfund.org Midwest Access Coalition (MAC): 847-750-6224 or email support@midwestaccesscoalition.org Planned Parenthood of Illinois (PP): 1-800-230-7526
You might want to shop around and see which clinic costs the least, and is the most practical for you to get to. FPA has a lot of patient resources, as does PP. Donât be afraid to ask for financial assistance. The people staffing those organizations have extensive networks and deep compassion for their patients- if the clinic canât help, they might know who can.
Once youâve made an appointment, nowâs the time to start gathering financial aid. Some insurance, including IL Medicaid, covers it. If yours does not, or if the copay is still too much, this is where abortion funds come into play. Many states have their own abortion funds for state residents, so you might have to look around to see who can help you. Iâd start with the National Network of Abortion Funds.
You also need to figure out transportation and housing while youâre in the city to get your abortion. This isnât super necessary if youâre just coming for the pill abortion, but if youâre coming for a d and c or other surgical procedure, you will be staying for a couple of days. THIS is why Iâm writing this up, because abortion funds typically only are able to help cover the financial cost of the procedure. Itâs expensive to stay somewhere and it can be absolutely terrifying if youâre on your own! Navigating while youâre in pain from the procedure can be an absolute devil of a time, too! However, Chicago has MAC (contact info above), which is a practical access fund, which means that they help pay for transportation to the city (bus tickets and train tickets) and around the city (volunteer drivers or volunteers who take rideshares with clients), food, aftercare medicine (painkillers, etc.), and housing, and thereâs also free access to emotional support staff throughout your stay. This is not just open to IL residents; itâs open to anyone coming to the city for an abortion. ALSO if you go through FPA, they have a partnership with the Hampton Inn a block away from their location where their patients get a discount. If you go that route, just talk to FPA about housing and theyâll hook you up. This can be super helpful if you need some evidence that youâre on a âbusiness tripâ or something like that- if you are in a position where you need an excuse for your safety, that might work well.
Hopefully you wonât need this post- but if you do, I hope it helps. Feel free to share it around. If you have anti-choice opinions and you feel the need to share, donât. This isnât the space for it; you will be blocked and your comments removed. And then remember that criminalizing abortion wonât stop abortion. Itâll just stop safe abortions. Also, increased access to abortion, funnily enough, tends to be the thing that lowers abortion rates, because increased access to abortion comes part and parcel with increased access to birth control and general health and sex education.
History is uncomfortable. Itâs not meant to make you feel good. Itâs profane, lewd, violent, controversial, and terrifying. There is no way of getting around that.
You are not doing your kids a service by getting rid of the parts of history you deem âtoo offensiveâ or âscaryâ, you are just setting them up to become the next set of unempathetic monsters who will end up killing millions.
And if you truly cared about history, you would stop sucking the funding from schools and museums and giving it to the police and military.
i hope that one day you are able to look out a window in the place where you belong and say:
"I've made it, and I'm happy."
until then,
i hope you can look out every window you pass on your journey and say:
"I'm getting there, and I'm enjoying every step of the journey"
âThe worst thing in the world can happen, but the next day the sun will come up. And you will eat your toast. And you will drink your tea.â
â Rhian Ellis
Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)
i could get so much done if only i could get stuff done
letâs treat ourselves more gently. letâs go to bed early. letâs rest when we need to. letâs live life in a way that doesnât make you feel burnt out after a few weeks. i want us to have fun, to enjoy everyday life, to be present and not to always push ourselves to the last limit. challenge yourself but also treat yourself with love. okay?
âIf it is destroying you then it is not love my dear.â
â Unknown
Just becuase i miss them doesn't mean they weren't abusive
Just becuase i miss them doesn't mean they weren't abusive
Just becuase i miss them doesn't mean they weren't abusive Just becuase i miss them doesn't mean they weren't abusive Just becuase i miss them doesn't mean they weren't abusive !!!!
Fourth in a series I of comics about protesting safety tips I made with @this.is.ysabel . This one is about the dangers of police surveillance and how to avoid it if possible. Keep being safe when you go out. Donât get snatched!
âyouâre so sweet!â thank you i have abandonment issues
âKnow that sooner or later that mantle of sadness and loneliness shelters us all, so smile, smile that soon your soul will find the most beautiful colors and you will be able to paint one of your best paintings.â
â poetry-siir Š
one of the more valuable things Iâve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have.Â
no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation.Â
no, your brother didnât realize his music was that loud while you were studying.Â
no, your bff or S.O. doesnât remember that youâre on a tight deadline right now.
no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now. Â
a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weightâŚ.itâs all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age.Â
Hereâs the thing: most people donât do that. Iâm not saying everyone else is oblivious, Iâm saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse.Â
I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether itâs really there or just me over-reading things that actually donât mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weightâŚthatâs toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships.Â
The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery.Â
Can you please reblog if your blog is a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, aromantic, pansexual, non binary, demisexual or any other kind of queer or questioning people? Because mine is.
Santa is on strike due to global warming. Â All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger. Â Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.
unfriendly reminder: this is a sex worker positive space. I will not tolerate the disrespect of sex workers here, and if you cant agree with that without a doubt then you're not welcome here.
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/this-nurse-didnt-just-create-a-replacement-n95-mask-hers-filters-more/
Tommye Austin has created a new better mask!
The name N95 comes from the fact the masks filter 95% of airborne particles, such as viruses. Lab results show Tommyeâs masks block 96.5%.
N95s werenât intended for all-day use, so they tend to carve painful, unsightly marks into noses, cheeks and chins. Hers donât.
With nowhere for exhaled carbon dioxide to escape, N95 wearers sometimes suffer dizziness or headaches. Hers have an air pocket so the C02 floats more easily away
FIVE WAYS TUMBLR RUINS YOUR LIFE
âbut is it still abuse if the abuser doesnât seem to realize heâs doing it?â
YES IT IS. Abuse is defined by the pain and trauma victims go thru, your suffering and fear donât go down one bit because âabuser may not be aware of what theyâre doingâ, actually, it goes up! Being tortured by someone who doesnât care enough to even freaking realize theyâre damaging you is much more dehumanizing and emotionally taxing than at least knowing the abuserâs intention clearly and that theyâre achieving exactly what they want to achieve. Being lost about abuserâs intentions adds on to the trauma!
It doesnât matter if they meant to do it or not (in most cases they absolutely meant it or didnât actually give a shit if theyâre hurting you or not as long as they get what they want). Staying safe from this person is important. Stopping the abuse and preventing any future abuse is important. Healing is important. Label the abuser with whatever you need that helps you to heal. Forget abuserâs side of the story and focus on yours. What they agree or disagree, what theyâre aware or arenât aware isnât nearly as important as stopping that person from harming you, and preventing them from hurting you ever again.