I Wish I Was In Love With A Boy,

i wish i was in love with a boy,

one with hair made shadows

and eyes full of nebulae,

all moonlight and whispers and

faint caresses down the back of my neck,

whispers sending chills up my spine

murmuring words in the language of the holy.

i wish i was in love with a girl,

one with hair made of sunbeams

and eyes full of summer sky,

all daydreams and hand-holding and

brash laughter chasing away silence,

never ending chatter encircling my mind

declarations in the language of the divine.

but perhaps when cupid strung his bow

and squinted one eye to line up my heart,

his fingers were not yet so adept,

and his arrow landed just beside me.

close enough --

close enough for me to feel

whatever elixir of love

the arrowhead boasted.

but just so far away

that i would only know the image of heartache,

never the pain,

never how it would feel in my own body.

one will long

for even something as terrible as love

if everyone around them

has been struck by it.

just me and my weekly “oh my god i’m gonna be alone forever” aroace angst don’t mind me.