Latest Posts by notlycan-this - Page 4

The way some of you think, 'trans men are men, trans women are women; therefore, trans men are oppressive and not a marginalized gender,' is deeply disturbing

"Transandrophobia" Primer

There's a wild amount of misinformation about the term "transandrophobia" going around, and has been for a long time. So let's dig in a bit and set the record straight.

What it is

"Transandrophobia" was coined as an alternative to "transmisandry", and describes the unique oppression targeted at and faced by transmasculine folks (and people perceived to be transmasculine).

Transmascs experience oppression not just on the basis of being trans, or (typically) AFAB, and certainly not on the basis of being men alone. What we experience is unique to being transmasculine, and the way cissexist society categorizes and responds to us: not as women, not as men, but as an "other" that lies between the two.

Some quick examples of transandrophobia:

Trans men are the most likely group in the trans community to have negative experiences with healthcare providers.

AFAB trans people in general are most likely to be denied HRT.

Trans men are most likely to be denied surgery coverage.

Trans men are most likely to avoid healthcare out of fear.

Nonbinary people and trans men were most likely to report having never, or only sometimes, been treated with respect by law enforcement.

Trans men are more likely to experience problems with airport security.

Trans men are most likely to avoid public restrooms.

Over half of all AFAB nonbinary people and trans men experience sexual assault. These are the highest rates in the queer community.

9 out of every 10 trans men seriously consider attempting suicide. This is the highest rate in the queer community.

About half of all trans men attempt suicide. This is the highest rate in the queer community.

What it Looks Like

Transmascs are generally placed in one of two categories: confused "girls" they believe can be saved, and evil, dangerous "other" they believe are beyond saving. There's a ton of overlap in these two categories, both in what they experience, and in the fact that oftentimes the two are experienced simultaneously; even in the same situation.

A quick, incomplete list of how these things can manifest:

Infantilization ("soft", "little")

Removal of autonomy

Stereotyping as "whiny", "hysterical", or "entitled".

"Butch flight" or "ROGD" - the idea that transmascs are stealing butch lesbians.

Pressuring transmascs to be more feminine/womanly, either through overt force, or through subtler manipulation.

The desire to "make transmascs women" via sexual assault (corrective rape).

The idea that testosterone causes aggression; emotional, physical, and sexual- therefore transition is dangerous, and transmascs who transition are dangerous.

Fearmongering around transmasc transitions; "binders can never be safe", "vaginal atrophy is untreatable", "you'll get fat/ugly/acne/sweaty/oily/smelly", "phalloplasty is too dangerous/expensive/unsatisfying to be worth it", etc.

Medical professionals dissuading transmascs from transitioning; stressing risks that can in actuality be mitigated easily, nitpicking family history without presenting options, etc.

The idea that transmascs only become trans to "escape misogyny" or to "gain male privilege".

Erasure of transmasc experiences, esp. experiences with misogyny and transphobia.

Lack of resources for transmasc abuse survivors.

Lack of resources for transmascs in need of reproductive healthcare on the basis of "male" gender markers, names, voices, and appearances.

Why We Call it That

"Transandrophobia" can be broken down in two ways:

"Trans" + "androphobia" = the "trans version" of "androphobia", a fear of men or social bigotry toward men.

"Trans-andro" + "phobia" = a social bigotry directly specifically at trans men/transmascs.

The second is the more common interpretation and usage, largely because the first can be interpreted, by some, to mean that those using the word are suggesting that it's actually (cis) women who oppress (cis) men, that we don't believe patriarchy exists, etc. This, of course, has never been the intention of the word.

The first break-down above could also be interpreted to refer to patriarchy's negative stereotyping of men- as aggressive, dangerous, and sexually predatory.

While that doesn't translate to systemic oppression of cis men, those same feelings- a general disgust and fear toward the concept of manhood- do inform how society responds to transmascs. As a group of people who are oppressed on the basis of being transmasculine, those feelings do play a role in transmasc oppression.

What it Isn't

"Transandrophobia" is not an attack on, or accusation toward, any other group of people.

The word does not imply that trans women oppress trans men, that transmascs have it worse than anyone else, that transfems are horrible bigots, that transfem issues do not deserve the attention they receive (or, ideally, far more attention than they currently receive).

It does not imply that cis misandry exists, that "MRAs were right", that patriarchy and misogyny aren't real, or that feminism isn't necessary.

It does not signal bigotry toward other groups. Whatever your personal opinion of the word, of who uses it, or of who coined it, the word is a word and it stands alone from those things. It belongs to the transmasculine community.

It does not demand anyone pay any less attention to other important issues. It does not accuse other trans people of oppressing us. It does not dismiss the existence of patriarchy or structural oppression of women. It does not belong to any one individual.

Why We Need it

There are real, tangible issues within the transmasc community- things that are unique to transmascs- and those things happen because of a unique bigotry toward transmasculinity.

In order to address those problems, we have to be able to talk about what they are and why they happen.

In order to talk about that, we need a word for what it is. "Transandrophobia" is that word.

Don't get me wrong: the word might change at some point, and that's fine. If the transmasc community as a whole decides that we would like a new word, and creates one together that suits those new needs, that's fine. But as of now, this is the most common, recognizable, easy-to-understand word we have.

"Transandrophobia" belongs to the transmasc community, and it's up to transmascs to define, interpret, create or remove associations, revise, and replace, as it sees fit.

What You Can Do

If you're transmasc:

Talk about your experiences. Connect with other transmascs. Join transmasc community spaces, create new ones, and maintain a positive, productive, and inclusive culture within those spaces. Uplift transmascs with different experiences from you.

Be an ally to other trans people, to people of color, to disabled people, and to other marginalized groups. Do not allow resentment toward the trans community- any part of it, and especially toward transfems- to fester in any space you inhabit.

If you're not:

Listen to transmascs. Seek transmascs out to listen to. Uplift transmasc voices. Learn. Ask questions, even if they're scary, and be ready to be surprised by the answers.

Think for yourself. Own your opinions, and own where they're coming from; don't blame them on other trans people. Acknowledge your limitations in experience. Know that you don't need to understand in order to respect us. Try to understand anyway.

i feel strongly about this

they are rattling in my brain forever FOREVER!!!!!

I have so many of these saved you would not believe. They r the couple of all time.

trans!Hinata request 🎄 [tkhn]

there’s something so disgusting and feral and perverted about getting off to the smell of someone

getting handed your sweater or a blanket and it’s supposed to be for comfort when we can’t see each other but instead i’m fucking my toy and shoving my face into it because fuck. you just smell so good i couldn’t help it

it’s not my fault your smell throws me into a fucking heat, i’m just doing what dumb mutts are supposed to >_<

what's that called? when a dom just can't help but be vocal about how badly they want you. when they just keep grunting in your ear, when they talk to you, telling you how hard and wet you're making them, when they describe how you're making them feel. doms who forgive so easily when you misbehave, because you're just their lovely thing. doms who make you look at yourselves in the mirror, whispering all the filthiest details of what they want to do to you. doms who keep fucking you after you came, or hell, after they came, because you feel too good and they just can't stop.

needy doms. yeah that one. i want that one.

my partner pinned me down pulled my shorts down and forced my legs open then started teasing me for how wet i got...... then got up and left me there

Absolute fucker

actually getting pregnant? no. bad. awful. I do NOT want that!!

having them grunt in your ear how they're going to knock you the fuck up like the worthless breeding bitch you are while they pound you into the mattress before cumming deep inside of you? YES. YESYESYESYESYESYES. LITERALLY NOTHING BETTER. YESSSSS. THE BEST. YES PLEASE!!!

having a degradation kink is so insane. i was having a hard time verbalizing what i wanted because he called me a “poor little thing” and instead of letting me recover, he doubled down: “god, i can’t believe you like being talked down to. that’s pretty fucking pathetic, only sluts like to be treated like this.” and then istg my eyes glazed over and i was GONE

warmups !! heres your favorite trans boy middle and disaster gay setter 

re-lined an old piece for funsies

My pet peeve about the 'I suggest forcefem' and secret egg jokes

I think we've forgotten that forcefem is an actual kink and that part of kink, even CNC like forcefem, is that anyone you're exposing to it is consenting. Random bloggers are not consenting to having your kink suggested to them, even as a joke, it's really weird and uncomfortable.

Notice how there aren't gimmick blogs associated with other CNC practices? Because people generally know it's kind of rude to go around bringing your kink to people's attention especially to 'suggest' they take part.

But I guess you're just forgetting forcefem is a kink because the idea of being forced to be a girl is either hot to you or just 'kinda funny and not serious' because it's just femininity/being a girl which has never and never will cause any harm because of how soft and pure womanhood is right?

On top of that there's a fairly large population of trans men, trans masculine and trans neutral people on here who (unless they happen to have that kink or are particularly unbothered) probably don't want to have someone go 'the answer to this issue, problem or other statement is to allow someone to force you to be a girl'.

Inciting some kind of dysphoric or uncomfortable reaction in anyone even a cis person is a huge dick move even as a 'joke'. Just because it wasn't made to be taken seriously, doesn't mean it's not someone involving unconsenting people in their kink.

In the same vein people shouldn't have anyone questioning their gender and going 'haha you're probably trans!' especially when it's mostly 'you are probably trans femme'. Tell me you don't understand or appreciate gnc men, feminine trans men or men doing anything not commonly associated with being masculine without telling me. Not everything is a sign someone is actually a girl and if it is, you might push her way back into the closet by making it your business like that.

Basically it's really rude and inappropriate to play with people's emotions like that, especially involving a kink as part of it, just because you're not bothered and find it funny.

"i'm using delusional in the right context, it's not like it's that serious"

DELUSIONAL DISORDER + SCHIZO SPECTRUM DISORDERS + TBI + MANY OTHERS

"calling someone a narcissist isn't ableist it's not a disability"

NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER

"sociopath/psychopath are just adjectives it's not like I'm hurting anyone"

ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER

"saying i'm ocd doesn't affect you it's just the way i act"

MOTHERFUCKING OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE PERSONALITY DISORDER

"i'm schizoposting lol it's just a joke"

SCHIZOPHRENIA

SCHIZOID PERSONALITY DISORDER

SCHIZOAFFECTIVE DISORDER

SCHIZOTYPAL PERSONALITY DISORDER

it's never just a joke, it's never an adjective. use a fucking thesaurus

went to the pub for a drink on my first real day off in over a week and watched the girl behind the bar drop the entire cash drawer on the floor in the middle of the rush and then just stare at it at her feet for like a solid two minutes

forcemasc but not in the gym bro way. you don’t have to be strong and dominant to be a man— what are you, fucking sexist? nah, nah. you don’t get to call yourself a girl just cause you’re not strong, not rough, not unfeeling. obedience doesn’t make you a girl, it makes you a dog.

you’re still a man when you’re grinding on the boot that left suchhhh a pretty red mark on your ribs. you’re still a man when you’re nose-deep in bush and whimpering cause you just can’t get enough no matter how hard you try. you’re still a man when you’re gagging on my fingers pressing down on your tongue. you’re still a fucking man and if i gotta make you prove it to yourself until “good boy” are the only words you know, i will

ive been addicted to taking screenshots since the moment i touched a computer. my internet photography

that's... not how it works. you can't guarantee that your work definitely won't squick anyone. what do you think you're saying?

3 transphobic arguments to be aware of (so you don't go down the alt right pipeline)

source

Easily one of the most important videos I've seen since the election.

'ritual for passage into manhood for a new man' via ftm international, issue 41 (june 1998)

like as a trans man i have repeatedly had more cis women be misandrist to me and then when i tell them they're doing such their reactions are always wildly on the opposite ends of the spectrum and neither are good

one is always "how can i be misandrist when you're not a man :(((" and the other is on the complete opposite end of "yeah well you deserve it because you're a MAN and MEN don't deserve my kindness" or whatever bullshit excuse they wanna make up and it's like.. so fucking annoying.

like. sure. there are a lot of oppressive men. but i can assure you, very greatly, that your trans man friend is not immediately one of them as soon as he comes out. and i can assure you that we are not "betraying our femininity" when over half of us DIDN'T FUCKING WANT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

and then there's the entire can of worms of people claiming misandry and androphobia aren't even real, not to MENTION how some people shit their britches in anger when you so much as MENTION transmisandry and transandrophobia.

like, genuinely, how do you even MANAGE to have friends with how rancid you must act on the daily with fuckass opinions like these.

stop fucking making kink jokes towards unconsenting people. (THIS IS ABOUT FORCEFEM)

ur all fundamentally fucking missing the CONSENSUAL part of CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT.

its not fucking funny. its fucking massively dysphoria inducing if the butt of ur joke is not fucking into that shit.

and also dont fucking assume that random men on TUMBLR are cis. this platform has the largest fucking population of trans people like jesus fucking christ.

kind of need someone who’s just as into scent as i am. hair, musk, light biting…all of those little animal qualities that we have. i need someone whose happiest place is between my thighs, drowning in the scent of sex

you don't stop getting percieved as whatever sex they assume you first had when you come out btw.

come out as a trans man to your school? youre a weird girl that is also trans. you are hated. you have 0 of the privelege of being treated as not a woman and all the horribleness of bigotry. you are whatever gender that will harm you most.

.

"oh sorry u cant go on this school trip because yr not a girl and they dont wanna room with you and if you room with any men you are horribly unsafe"

"oh sorry you don't wanna be sexually harassed? well yr a man who cares? this is punching up. be a man why are you upset?"

"mm you have no say here actually cuz youre a GIRL and girls don't have a voice here. ur body my choice tehe"

and many more.

.

all of these things can be directed at the same person. you are not more priveleged than other trans people cuz some losers out there have the most basic radfem ass understanding of how oppression works. you culd pass perfectly but the moment they know you are trans you will experience the harmful intersectionality between misogyny and transphobia. to deny that ever happened and that there are complex experiences out there is to deny trans people of their oppression. no matter your intention it is horrible and self harming to the community.

less than a month to go boys

Be the best you can be.

vintage top surgery advertisement from the copy of Transgender Tapestry that i bought my bf for the holidays… don’t tell him you saw this, it’s a surprise! so fucking cool……

If you're holding back on being masc because you think you need to be a skinny white man to pass, give that the fuck up. Be big if you're big, be brown if you're brown, be assertive, take up space, be whatever the fuck kind of man/masc you are and stop waiting. Stop trying to diminish your power out of fear.