Jar Of With Otis Jiry

I want to prove a point to a coworker of mine.

Pretend this post is the coronavirus.

If you see this on your dash, just reblog it.

Let’s show them how quickly this virus can spread from just one person.

A samurai does the sword thing but instead of someone dying it’s perfect top surgery

Any other NDs who REALLY love typing on computer keyboards? Like, to the point it turns an understimulating activity fun and to the point it helps executive dysfunction???? Cos i do😳

My cats have this meow that means "please come with me to fix this" after which they'll lead me to the problem in question, usually a empty (or 'empty') food bowl or a closed door they want open. They look at the 'problem', they look back at me, clear message.

What fascinates me is how this illustrates what they percieve as being in the realm of my 'power.' I control the food, I control the door, sure, but my cats love to sit on the balcony in the sun, and it has happened plenty of times that on a rainy day they come get me, go to the balcony and show me... the rain. "Please fix this" they say. "Please get rid of the wet"

"Silly kitty," I say, "I can't control the rain." I then walk into the shower and turn on the rain.

vampire who's married to an archaeologist voice: my love, stop trying to carbon date me

"acab, but we need police to arrest those people. abolish prisons, except for those people. the death penalty is bad, but those people deserve it."

sounds like you've just given the state your approval to arrest, imprison, and kill anyone they don't like as long as they can successfully convince you that they're one of those people. I'm sure they won't abuse this power and fervently paint minorities as those people though, they've never done that. and it sure is a good thing that all of society is in agreement about what "those people" means!

Instead of apple juice, you can use orange juice (it fits better imo), or just plump in a few of those dissolvable vitamin C tablets in there.

The good thing about The Immunity Spice is that there is virtually almost no upper limit to how much you can consume - just remember to drink enough water, since vitamin c requires it to get processed by your body. But aside from that, you might start feeling slight discomfort in the stomach after ingesting around a gram at once. So like, 10 tablets if I'm not mistaken? But that's only from irritating the stomach by ingesting such amounts at once, so spread them out throughout the day and you should be good. After some surgeries you can recieve a few grams of vitamin C daily by IV and most people don't even know that. This shit is super safe, and the benefits scale. It's truly a miracle that such an incredible vitamin with such immunity boosting properties exists.

Jesus Tea 2.0

OK, so since the Original post is a bit of an organizational mess and I’ve been getting asks and having to clarify things, here is the new, More comprehensible Recipe of JESUS TEA:

Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor, trained herbalist, or even a particularly good cook but this shit tastes like it came from God Themselves, and considently makes be feel drastically better when I get Colds, the flu or sinus infections.

PART ONE DO NOT SKIP: SALT RINSE

Ingredients: 

1Tsp salt. Doesn’t have to be fancy but if fancy salt will make you feel better then u do that.

1 small glass warm water

Dissolve salt in small glass of warm water.  Take large sips and gargle, then spit the water out, repeat until your throat feels like something you can breathe with insead of a rubber hose full of Pain Slime.  My doctor explained once how the salt breaks up the mucus buildup somehow, but I was high off my mind on Dayquil and was distracted by her third eye and don’t remember.  

Point is, gargling salt rinse will help with clearing mucus out of you swollen face and help with the pain and breathing.

Part B THE ACTUAL RECIPE:

Tools: 

Large Pot (just make a ton of this at once so you can go back for mugs)

Tea Infusers/Coffee filters/those little cloth bags: For steeping tea. 

Working Stovetop

Ingredients:

1 Quart water, if you want more, double recipe.

2TBs Chamomile (in an infuser)

3TBS Roobois (in an infuser)

1 tsp each: cloves, cumin, cardamom

½ tsp each: white or cayenne pepper, Tumeric.

¼ nutmeg

¼ powdered cinnamon or 1 small stick

Slice or 3 of giger root

2-bay leaves (all of the above in an infuser)

¼ cup or 1 lemon’s worth of juice

2 cups 100%+ Vitamin C Apple juice- cloudy juice or American Cider (NOT ALCOHOLIC CIDER) taste the best.

A Shitwhack of Honey

HHOW TO MAKE THE THING:

Put water in pot, bring to a high simmer/not quite boil, reduce heat to medium, add infusers of Chamomile, roobois, and spices. Steep until tea is dark and fragrant even to your sad, clogged up nose, about 3-5 min depending on taste.

Remove from heat and allow to cool to a drinkable temperature and add lemon juice, apple juice and Shitwhack of honey:

How T pour a shitwhack of honey:  Open up cap on honey and start pouring.  Keep pouring.  Your spouse or roommate or parent will coem by and say in a cencerned voice “Isn’t that enough honey?”

“No.” you say.

There is never enough magic bee juice.

Let the bees heal you.

Drink the tea by the mug, alternating with glasses of water and occasional salt rinse until you are hydrated and no lnger feel like death warmed over.

FAQ:

Can I use this instead of Cold Meds? NO.  This only treat symptoms and beyond staying hydrated, won’t help heal you.  Be sure to get vaccinated if you can, and take the appropriate medications.  If your fever/symptoms last for more than 5-7 days, go see a doctor ASAP becuase Influenza is a dangerous disease and NOT to be fucked with.

I understand full well that modern captialism is bitch and that it’s hard to get time off to be sick but you can help your fellow proletariat by frequently washing your hands and avoiding touching things, keeping your face covered when possible, and being kind to yourself when you’re off work.

A Note about Cold Meds: As I found recently, lots of cold medication can interact dangerously with lots of Mental Illness medictions like SSRIs, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers etc. If you’re on ANY kind of long-term medication, use a Drug Interaction Checker to make sure you don’t accidentally fuck yourself up like I have.

Can I put Booze in? I extremely reccomend NOT doing so, as Alcohol is a sedative that can interact badly with cold meds, and taking sedatives while you’re having trouble breathing is not a great plan.  Don’t make your liver work overtime when you’re already sick.  If you’re perfectly healthy and think this is tasty, feel free to add whiskey or whatever to it.

Can I substitute differnet Ingredients?  Sure!  This recipie is a general guideline and you can add or remove whatever you want. Some Reccomendations Adding tea: You could probably add a regular Black tea and have it taste fine. I don’t because the caffiene keeps me awake and I want to sleep when sick.  If you can’t have chamomile, green tea will have simmilar effects and flavor, but it also has a tocuh of caffine to it.

I want it spicier!  The Fire will heal me!: Add: More ginger, more cayenne, or a bit of sriracha at the end, with the honey.

I’m a spice weenie!: Less tumeric, ginger or pepper, maybe trim the lemon, but it’s good for your throat.

I can’t have Magic Bee Juice:  That’s fine! Use whatever sweetener you like.  I like honey because it tastes good and sometimes it helps throat pain the way others don’t.

On Apple Juices:  Check the label of you apple Juice to make sure it’s the kind with 100% or more of your DV of Vitamin C, becuase that will help treat the uncomfotable symptons of your particular yuck and help you recover faster. Juicy Juice and Motts tend to be good brands.

On Meausrements:  I’m an american and bad at math.  Everything’s in nonmetric and I have no idea how to convert it to Civlized measurments. Sorry.

self care is putting yourself to bed on a regular schedule because it’s the base treatment for mood disorders

there’s no twist or anything it’s just really really good for u to sleep at consistent times

I have adhd and autism and I DEFINITELY do that. And your gf is a treasure.

sometimes i’ll forget other people who want to talk to me exist so i ended up ghosting my very loving gf and she was so understanding?? about it?? like no “you get upset when i do this but it’s fine if you do” just? “it’s alright, i was just a little worried something was up” and?? what??