Piano Worm From Frog Detective 3: Corruption At Cowboy County

this is the realest thing ever honestly

This is actually one of the photos ever

Well I like it but it’s not very well written. Also it’s a visual mess. The plot doesnt make any sense and the creators suck and its politics oscillate from mildly problematic to frankly baffling. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. However. the character

I appreciate that even people who don't ship batjokes still agree that they were very, very gay in the Lego Batman movie. like that's just practically canon.

(proof: my friend in drama class)

I never did get to show her…

Watched '89 Batman just so I could read the original script and get mad at the changes. Spoilers, but also this won't make a lot of sense if you haven't already seen the movie

Starting off strong with the descriptions. I'm sure cranking up Jack's age some 20 years wouldn't make much of a difference to the plot...

I was going to say that the casting director is no Andrea Romano, but considering his name drops before Keaton's, I'm sure Nicholson was chosen through a more particular process. I wonder though, was that choice alone responsible for the "Joker kills Bruce's parents" idea? (side note, did Joker 2019 come up with *anything* new at all??) Or was it something that came up after they decided to erase Dick Grayson from the film to replace the original conflict?

Oh yeah, the Flying Grayson's episode happens in the original script. But let's look at Ace Chemicals first — which is not the name they used in the movie, just to piss me off

They cut out a whole section of the gang breaking into the plant. It's not a bad choice, I just liked the date makeup observation. Now to the meet cute--

Paralyzing talons? Are you kidding me, they got rid of that?? Oh, silly me, of course they did — that would get in the way of Batman's classic blowing-up-thugs rule.

Bruce didn't throw Jack off the platform here, but interestingly enough we still see him feeling guilty when he finds out that he inadvertently created Joker

And yes, this is almost the exact same moment that Tom King wrote in Batman/Catwoman. Gotta love the trope of Bruce bringing up his guilt over creating his arch-nemesis in the middle of an intimate moment with a beautiful woman on his bed. Now some random things they changed that stood out to me:

Every single time Joker acts blatantly childishly or is described as being on the verge of a tantrum is so funny. Sad that we could've had this instead of him thirsting over Vicky Vale.

This is the during the attack of the mimes on the city hall. I assume they decided to cut it out because that sort of ptsd goes a little against installing machine guns on the batmobile and striking down your enemies with military grade missiles.

They didn't pull a Joe Chill/Joker switcheroo here, Vale's guilt just dreamed of this scenario. The script goes a little deeper in expanding her relationship with Bruce. She figured out he's Batman on her own — saving up Alfred's skin — but unfortunately so does her colleague. As a self-designated nice guy, Knox tries to get Batman to break things off with Vicky. He's also waiting for the news of Joker's attacks to quiet down before exposing Batman's identity, but don't worry, the scripts solves this beautifully later on.

Anyways, instead of the confrontation at the apartment of Vicky Vale (also known as Bruce's "let's get nuts" moment and the devil in the moonlight quote) we have a chase scene that leads to Dick's introduction. Before that though comes probably the second scene I most wish they had kept in the movie

Yes, Batman chases Joker on a horse, first wearing a tuxedo, then his whole gear. Do you see what they took from us? What could've been?

Joker kills the Graysons with pretty explosions, Dick jumps onto Joker's van and tries to kill him but alas is detained by Batman and batnapped.

Batman then asks Alfred to take care of Dick and the last act is set in motion. Pushed by anger and guilt, Batman blows up Ace Chemicals (tho here we're supposed to believe the thugs managed to run out before the place crumbled) but Joker escapes and goes to set the balloon parade in motion.

Before he can blow away the public, Knox and Vicky create the bat signal to alert Batman about the balloons and Joker's plans are thwarted. Unfortunately (cough) this costs Knox his life. But hey, at least Batman's identity is safe.

Big explosions ensue, the batwing goes down and Bruce is almost left dead in the debris. Dick Grayson, now dawning his makeshift Robin suit, saves him and runs to enact his revenge on Joker.

They enter the cathedral, Joker and Dick exchange some bullets and Batman eventually catches up with Dick, knocking him out again. Then Batman manages to crawl up the stairs through inhuman effort against his fatal injuries, passes out just before reaching the final floor and uh... I'll just post this next part in full

He's made a friend... Attempted murder-suicide... Joker's taken out by a horde of Bats... This would probably have replaced Fight Club in my list of favorite movie endings if it ever came into existence.

Before I close up on our villain and hero's demises, I do have something to point out that I think was improved in the final script. Joker's Smylex — basically Joker Gas, originally meant to be called Smylenol — got added to beauty products and caused some people to die in the movie. I say some, because while we see 13 deaths reported there, here it's something that comes closer to the class of hundreds. He doesn't even invent it, originally; he just steals the formula from an old CIA project. Because the fatal product doesn't happen only when certain products are mixed together, a whole lot more end up becoming victims and Batman can't do much about it except cut out the source. It's just a detail, but I liked that they thought of an alternative. I may not like the Joker mob boss origin, but at least they let him keep his chemical prowess.

Now to the ending. Batman had a last minute bout of clarity and threw the bomb away, tangling it in the helicopter's ladder

Something something Batman offering Joker a last comfort before death... Endgame and Arkham City and...

Okay, that's pretty much what I've got. Am I mad we didn't get to have this? Kinda. But also, I didn't have big expectations for what actually came out, and it's still a pretty funny film. Besides, I think when it comes to Batman and mainly Joker, sticking to the comics, games and animations is the best way to go. Best to keep the incels focused on the live adaptations anyhow

Do you have any favorite moments of bruce being unhinged and obssessed with joker?

An excellent question! Thank you, anon, and sorry it took so long for me to answer this.

Most of Bruce’s existence is insane moments, so it’s hard to pick and choose, but you can bet I’ve got Joker-related ones that make me want to twist myself into a pretzel. Bruce is especially unhinged about Joker... ranging from feeling responsibility over him and guilt over his creation, to unrelenting obsession about either catching him when he doesn’t know where he is or finding a way to understand him, to mind-boggling possessive behavior that he gets called out on by multiple people. Oh yes, then there’s him saving Joker’s life no matter the cost, so many times it’s gotten tough to keep track of them.

But I will leave you with my top 10 favorite moments where Bruce’s unhinged-about-Joker disease particularly shines through:

1). That time Bruce went to Joker in Arkham like three years into their rivalry to basically say “Hi, I’m Batman and Bruce Wayne is my secret identity, here’s your card back!”;

2). That time Bruce offered to work with and rehabilitate Joker, basically two seconds after Joker shot Barbara Gordon in the spine and tried to drive her father insane;

3). That time Bruce, the notorious magic hater, consults a psychic about Joker’s location; or, the comic from which the batshit “I want him so bad, my body would shake if I let it” quote comes from;

4). That time Bruce raced against the clock to save Joker from getting fried in the electric chair, actually uttering the words “Every breath you take you owe to me” at the end (cue Every Breath You Take by The Police);

5). That time Bruce slit the throat of his adopted son who came back from the dead like five minutes ago, to save the life of Joker, the guy who murdered his adopted son in the first place;

6). That time Bruce disguised himself as Matches Malone to have a conversation with Joker while he was stuffed full of drugs and rational, in what’s essentially the third time Bruce goes “Why do you hate me?? How about we don’t kill each other” only for Joker to go “Nah. I hate your guts”, breaking his blackened bat-shaped heart;

7). That time Bruce got so obsessed with understanding how Joker’s mind worked, he made himself hallucinate and fucked himself up so badly Tim and even Joker call him out on it;

8). That time Bruce kept both him and Joker from healing their fatal wounds and called Joker his friend, essentially committing murder-suicide;

9). That time Bruce got so used to receiving ‘gifts’ from Joker every month that the one time he didn’t get any, he got so incredibly panicked he initiated a city-wide evacuation, devolving into screaming “GIVE ME MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT” into Joker’s face (and it’s the best thing ever);

10). The alternate timeline in which Clark kills Joker and Bruce gets unbelievably unhinged about it, otherwise known as Injustice: Gods Among Us.

I’ll be going through all of these with a bit of commentary and gratuitous comic panels under the cut. I got long about it as always, so I figured I’d give you the option to just read through the list and peruse my ramblings after, if your heart desires.

So. These aren’t in order of how much I favor them, but rather a crude chronological order, because I find the progression... interesting.

1). That time Bruce goes “Hi, I’m Batman and Bruce Wayne is my secret identity, here’s your card back!” even though he’s known Joker for a grand total of three years at best, as recalled via flashback in Batman: Death of the Family:

God, Bruce telling Alfred all of this is just so... painfully selfish, somehow. Alfred, and the whole Family, have gone through hell because of Joker. And here Bruce is admitting that Joker was right; that Bruce did essentially invite him in his life, inside the house, to lay waste to all he had. And the way he bemoans at the end, so desperately and caught up in his own feelings, that he can’t make Joker understand that the reason he let him in wasn’t to have him destroy Bruce Wayne’s humanity, but rather to reach out, to get Joker to stop... is so [garbled inhuman noises]. Here Bruce is, insisting that no, he wouldn’t ever let it end like that, just him and Joker (when he makes it end like that! in Batman: Endgame! except he ensures everyone else lives) -- making Alfred reassure him, instead of the other way around.

Also, I find the little detail that this is after Bruce took Dick in relevant here, because... he’s not putting just himself in danger. He’s putting himself, Alfred and a child in danger by exposing his identity, and it all comes back to bite him in the ass, years down the line. Because Joker ignored, but he didn’t forget. The risk Bruce took was calculated, but man, was he bad at math.

2). That time Bruce offered to work with and rehabilitate Joker, basically 2 seconds after Joker shot Barbara Gordon in the spine and tried to drive her father insane, in the iconic Batman: The Killing Joke:

...This barely needs any comment, it’s been analyzed to death. But it’s still such an outlandish thing to do, and a Bruce moment I find fascinating after all this time, so here we are.

3). That time Bruce is so obsessed with finding Joker he consults a psychic about him, or Detective Comics (1940) #617:

So you've probably seen this one panel floating around, and for good reason, because... wow.

But the thing is, the whole issue is like this. Bruce is so damn obsessed with finding Joker he actually talks to a pyschic. Who then proceeds to ask him to pick a card and looks into a crystal ball to get Joker's location. Like. That's how desperate my man gets. But then she doesn't see anything, only a snake eating its own tail (an ouroboros) -- because that's what Batman and Joker are. Symbols of chaos and justice respectively, eternally chasing each other. And to complete the symmetry and the theme of an ouroboros, the issue's ending parallels its beginning:

Crouching on rooftops gloomingly pondering the deep philosophical bond you share with your nemesis, dedicating yourself to chasing him forever. You know. Normal behavior.

4). That time Bruce fought to save Joker’s life when he got put on death row for a crime he didn’t commit, despite all the reasons he could’ve let Joker die for the myriad of crimes he did commit, proceeding to claim Joker’s life as his at the end, in The Joker: Devil’s Advocate:

If you’re curious for expanded commentary on this, I’ve spoken about this comic before in more detail here.

And because I can’t help myself, here’s some bonus little moments of Bruce being possessive over Joker!

Legends of the DC Universe #27:

Impulse (1995) #50:

5). That time Bruce slit the throat of his adopted son who came back from the dead like 5 minutes ago, to save the life of Joker, the guy who murdered his adopted son in the first place, in Batman: Under the Red Hood:

I’ve elaborated a bit more on why this is unhinged behavior in this other post (same as the one linked above). But... well. These panels really speak for themselves. And I wouldn’t say this is a favorite insane Bruce moment of mine, it’s more of an eternally baffling one, simply because of how huge it is.

6). That time Bruce disguised himself as Matches Malone to have a conversation with Joker while he was stuffed full of drugs and rational, in what’s essentially the third time Bruce goes “Do you actually hate me? How about we don’t kill each other. Please, for the love of God” only for Joker to go “Nah. I hate your guts” and break his heart, in Batman: Cacophony #3:

(There are simply no words to describe how much I hate Joker’s beard. Kill it. Kill it with fire. My deepest apologies that I am exposing you to this.)

Joker doesn’t answer, he turns the question on him. And Bruce basically says that no, he doesn’t want Joker dead, because he never wants to see death ever again, period. But then Joker says:

...Poor Bruce. Yeah. As Joker remarks after, this did hurt Bruce’s feelings. And later, this is how Bruce and Alfred discuss it:

“From what he told me tonight, that would’ve given him peace.”

This happens a bunch of times... Joker says that dying would be the best option, the best thing (because as I said elsewhere, Batman is paradoxically both Joker’s preferred method of suicide and his way of keeping himself alive) -- but Bruce refuses to allow for Joker’s death, even passively, again and again. Despite everything.

7). Bruce being so obsessed with understanding Joker he fucks himself up by undertaking a very dangerous meditation process called Thogal, as shown in Batman (1940) #673:

(Haha. Yes he does think way too much about the Joker.)

And I love how Joker himself, seeing what state Bruce has been reduced to by the Black Glove organization, calls him out on how much of a dumb move it was to do this, in Batman: R.I.P:

“Like there was some rabbit hole you could follow me down to understanding?” This is one of my favorite quotes from Joker, probably. Bruce’s obsession with figuring out how Joker works keeps popping up in comics, but this has to be the craziest thing he’s done because of it.

8). That time Bruce called Joker his friend and proceeded to keep both of them from healing their wounds or saving their own lives, essentially committing murder-suicide, in Batman: Endgame:

Haha. This is fine. Bruce spewing all that bullshit about believing Joker is the Pale Man so he’d have the flimsiest of excuses to keep Joker with him and say ‘I’m sorry’ before they die... it’s fine.

9). That time Bruce got so used to receiving ‘gifts’ from Joker every month that the one time he didn’t get any, he got so incredibly panicked he initiated a city-wide evacuation, devolving into screaming “GIVE ME MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT” into Joker’s face and it’s the best thing ever... in Detective Comics #1027:

I love this little story. Bruce’s internal narration is so good, the whole time, and the way his obsession mounts, culminating in this one insane moment... chef’s kiss. And his broken reaction, the way he’s shown desperate and alone at the end... This one time Joker got his birthday right being the time he offered himself as the gift, and the time he made Bruce ask for it... it’s beautifully tragic.

10). That time Superman killed Joker and Batman went against him, despite Superman being his best friend and technically right (for a bit in the beginning) -- or, everything about Injustice: Gods Among Us.

Alright so. This will get long, but hear me out. The funniest (and the most tragic) part about Bruce in Injustice... is that his behavior only makes sense if he was in love with Joker.

Bruce after Joker commits genocide, killing millions of people and forcing Clark (his best friend) to murder his own wife and unborn child:

“This has always been about us.” He says this after Joker killed eleven million people. It’s so incredibly selfish and self-centred it’s mind-boggling.

And then, Bruce when Joker gets killed:

Already unhinged behavior, yes? I’m including all of this because in these comics, we get the most direct call-out Bruce has ever gotten regarding his feelings for Joker. But I think that placed within context, everything is just so much worse.

Even the dialogue draws attention to the fact that Bruce without the mask, and Bruce putting on the mask, matters in this scene. He only denies Clark’s words after he hides behind the Bat. And later, when he rejects Clark’s offer to join him, he does it as Bruce -- not Batman.

Ultimately, the thing is-- Superman has killed before. And for much less. Hell, canonically, Clark has killed Doomsday, Darkseid, Braniac, Zod, Bizarro... and yes, they more often than not come back to life, but he’s made that decision. Diana killed Maxwell Lord, Jason and Damian (two of Bruce’s own) have killed people before, and Bruce himself shot Darkseid that one time! He made the decision to fire a gun and potentially kill someone for the sake of the Universe! Him saying that he’s disapproving of Clark’s actions because of Clark killing a man is so hypocritical considering the circumstances, and that’s the thing. The text is literally telling us that. Clark is calling out the truth about Bruce’s behavior and putting it out in the open from the start.

“You’re angry at me for taking the Joker away from you.”

That’s it. That’s the main reason the war between Superman and Batman actually happens. The ideological differences and the enforcing of justice and freedom of choice are the collateral; it’s all deeply personal, between them. In the beginning, in Year 1, it’s honestly pretty hard to argue that Clark is even wrong in what he’s doing! He gives a speech against nuclear weapons and makes an effort to stop wars and Bruce interprets it in such a negative light. Obviously, Clark does end up making some very wrong choices, and becoming an actual dictator -- but the tragedy of it all, I feel, is that if Bruce had tried to genuinely help in the beginning, instead of assuming the worst and antagonizing Clark so much... Clark might’ve been saved.

Instead, what we get is Clark turning into Batman’s worst enemy. As if killing Joker passed on a curse; a foe Batman cannot kill and cannot defeat must exist, so Clark took Joker’s place when he killed him. God, I was obsessed with Superbat in this comic for such a long time, too. But to not make this longer than it has to be, I’ll stop here and say... Injustice is a tragedy with admittedly many writing flaws, but in the wise words of Daniel Craig in Knives Out: 

(Hah. Not to mention that Bruce ends up working with Harley in this timeline, the one who helped Joker commit genocide. But sure, allying with Clark is unthinkable.)

And so we have reached the end! This got long as fuck, but well, at this point, I’m sure no one is surprised. I do hope you enjoyed the list, anon!

If you ask me, a pack of wild dogs is the most iconic thing to be torn apart by