if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.
someone needs to stop me from checking ao3 every thirty minutes after I post something
He cheats on you with House <3
They're so foul for this
Rejoice! Chapter 3 of my Hilson fic is live! I know you're hungry, and I've come to feed you. Check it out here on ao3!
this tiktok was too house md to not draw
DON'T get me started on Wilson/Cuddy
Hilson is endgame, but I cannot deny Huddy
haven’t had a dream in a long time
“but he still talks to him sometimes. especially when no one else will listen.”
featuring: chase, guilt, that ache in his chest that never really goes away.
he was taught to kneel before he could walk.
the prayers were whispered like secrets, threaded between strained silences and stiff collars, a boy tucked into church pews like he might learn discipline through osmosis.
god is watching, he was told.
god loves you, if you’re good enough.
so he tried. he did what they wanted.
he smiled like it didn’t hurt.
because if you earn it — the love, the praise, the place at the table — maybe it means something when they finally look at you.
⸻
(chase doesn’t know if he believes in god anymore.
but he still talks to him sometimes.
especially when no one else will listen.)
⸻
he tells himself he doesn’t care what house thinks; tells himself he’s just doing his job.
he tells himself a lot of things.
but there’s a reason he leans forward when house speaks.
a reason he doesn’t quit, even when he should.
⸻
he wants to be wanted. simple as that.
wants to be chosen, for once —
not as a default. not out of pity.
not because he kept quiet long enough to stay.
⸻
sometimes he still dreams in latin.
asks for forgiveness in the language of his childhood. says please, without really knowing who he’s asking.
⸻
maybe it’s selfish. maybe it’s stupid.
but he thinks he’s earned something good by now.
even if it’s small. even if it’s soft.
even if it’s just someone who looks at him like he’s not a shadow in someone else’s story.
⸻
“please, please, please —
let me get what i want.
lord knows it would be the first time.”
— please, please, please let me get what i want (the dream academy)
(~275w)
What were they thinking when they made House MD promotional posters 🥀
I think they were high on Vicodin ☝️🤓
wilson would make a great pediatrician if he wasnt an oncologist
hate the wubbywoobyification of wilson like that man matches houses freak to a dangerous degree