What Do You Mean I Can't Control Everything, Why Not

I have been so utterly transfixed by this phrase lately.

I find myself saying this out lout whenever I feel stumped by any conversation. Any time a conversation gets kinda stupid and people start saying unnecessary things I immediately have a strong compulsion to say "uh... white person here. i jack off to goombas from the super mario bros games"

I want to [remembers that suicide jokes only further damage my mental health] fuck you like an animal

popular ship with daily posts will kill the patient. he needs rarepair with 1 annual fan art to survive

lalalala💚

my sim calling Blake just to say this. yeah buddy.. I bet

I dedicated a day for a Danny episode bc I started to feel really bad about how stressed he is 😭 I took him to mourningvale cuz I was kinda hoping Grim would threaten to reap his soul but instead this fucking tree started talking to him. also he took up guitar bc #m has infected me with band au brainworms. Danny in an emo band 🫠🫠

Angelo came over a few days ago and Blake literally. looked at him. AND NOAH THOUGHT IT WAS FUCKING CHEATING so now their relationship is strained and Noah is miserable all the time LMAOOOO 🖕🖕🖕 He's been pinwheeling between crying, yelling at everyone, and getting extremely tense and jealous when Blake's not around 💀💀 their romance meter is still full but their friendship has been tanking so essentially they're hate-fucking now 💗 things are getting canon 💗

plus it was new years eve! so since Noah is mr. celebrity I had him host a house party with the neighbors (sunshu + me and gaby since they haven't met Matt & co yet 🫢) and some of his friends from work. Angelo brought a gift?? randomly?

Danny was immediately attracted to Gaby which was weird but Noah was immediately attracted to ME which was WEIRDER.. stop showing me your muscles you have a boyfriend 😒😒 he literally kept me at the house for hours after the party was over and everyone else had left. and then my sim started jorking it unprompted . on Their couch .I was so disturbed FUCKING KEEP IT TOGETHERR 😭😭😭😭😭😭 talks to Noah for .1 second and immediately whips out dick like come on man 💔

one may notice that Noah's tattoos have changed and that's because I remembered that there's that new custom tattoo mechanic ! so now they're semi-accurate yayyy 🥰💗 (aka cobbled together from gallery creations and shoddily constructed via stencils since my old drawing tablet refused to cooperate)

me: if I become the evil overlord I will never harm my minions

[5 years later]

highly throwable imp: hoohoohee

me: hmm

what if i *remembers that making suicide jokes is not conducive with my goal of improving the wellbeing of myself and everyone around me* transform into an oyster

my first actual contribution. hello mouthwashers

[remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health] YOU should kill yourself

as a cis-passing guy i dared to ask the question "how femme can i be be before my coworkers get uncomfortable" and the answer is apparently. a single gold dangling earring

Toxonevra superba