Yoy All Just Hate Me Because I'm Cold And Distant And Don't Put Effort Into Any Relationships And Off

not hating your parents not loving your parents but the secret third thing: vague acknoweldgement that they probably couldve done a better job but like yeah whatever theyre fine i guess. wouldnt choose to spend time when them if we weren't related. makes for decent small talk. like a coworker if your family was a job.

Toxonevra superba

Doctor calls you with your bloodwork results and just says “I’m really mad at you” and then hangs up

The dynamic of "scientist who wants to fuck the thing they're studying" gets exponentially better the further removed from the biological sciences you get.

Xenobiologist wanting to bang an alien is old news. Give me a programmer in love with his computer. Quantum physicist who gets horny when he gets to operate the partical accelerator. Do you understand

Your friends watching something for the first time and getting to that scene VS you, the knower.

I want to [remembers that suicide jokes only further damage my mental health] fuck you like an animal

me doctor says I has “iron da fish in sea” but I don’t remember ironin’ no fish

I wear loud dangly belt chains and accessories for the same reason some people put a bell around their cat's neck. Doesn't keep me from decimating the local bird population but trains me to be more stealthy about it. And if they ever come off it's like Rock Lee's ankle weights - good luck having any idea where the fuck I am at any given time.