Rage

Rage

Creative title, right? Probably not to be honest, it sounds like something a hipster would post, or an emotional teenage girl(not being sexist, just providing a cliché example). Nonetheless, I feel rather compelled to put that as the title, mainly because it’s something that I feel pretty often. Not necessarily the anger, but the violent aspect of rage, that nearly uncontrollable violence that builds up inside you, is something that I feel virtually every day. Goodness, I sound so whiny, but I feel like I have to express it somehow or else it’s going to eat away at my emotional health.

I recognize that violence isn’t the answer, but it’s infuriating to be unable to do anything other than think about what you would do to someone who truly deserves to suffer. Of course it sounds rather sociopathic, but there are people to truly need to get whats coming to them from time to time.

It’s hard to describe the feeling I get... it’s a mixture of frustration with anxiety, which produces helplessness and then finally creates the violent urge to hurt someone. I have never done anything under the influence of this urge except for once, which I would rather not get into as I was luckily stopped before things got too far. I learned to control the rage, but the build up of it makes it harder and harder to control. I realized that working out often helps reduce the buildup, but what happens when you don’t have time to work out and you are constantly placed under a lot of stress?  Well, you have several options; blow up, take it out on someone, or take a break.

Of course, the most socially acceptable answer is to take a break, which would usually require going out for some fresh air,  but in more extreme circumstances it could mean take a day or two off from work or school, and that SUCKS. Taking a day off will just add to your workload afterwards, since you’ll have to make up for the time you lost the last day. Conversely, what would happen if you let your rage out? Well, if you let it out on someone else, you could hurt them, both mentally and physically. And just blowing up could get you kicked out of your workplace, and maybe even sent to jail if things get physical.

So what is there to do? This is a problem that I find myself to be facing rather often, and it always feels like a lose-lose situation. Maybe by talking about it things could get better, but who really wants to hear someone bitch about their life? I personally would find that to be extremely boring, and it might not even work! The way I found to be a good reliever is just to write it out, but its taken me several days to put this all into something concise, a so what happens to those people who don’t have the time? I guess they turn to drugs? I’m not really sure to be honest.

Maybe my point got lost while I was blabbering about this whole thing, but what I meant to emphasize was that stress, rage and anger can easily build up in people, and sometimes there really is just no way to relieve it, which is extremely frustrating to me.

Goodness, I wrote way too much... Oh well, it helped me vent, which I guess was the purpose of this. If anyone ever actually reads this, I hope you’ve enjoyed my rather long rant on rage and anger, and I hope it was somehow beneficial to you, in whatever way that may be.