Getting Into The Shower: Evil Evil Evil

f*ck it, here are some silly pet paintings

Hard truth that I’ve had to confront that I’m honestly not proud of:

Constantly voicing your abandonment issues lead to more people abandoning you.

I do not mean in Serious Conversations about what you need in a relationship or anything like that - I mean when your friend plays a video game with a different friend for a few days and you feel like your world is crumbling, that is not the time to talk about them.

I understand the fear that someone will decide they are done with you. I live that fear every single day, but here’s the rub.

If you tell people “you’ll probably leave me anyway” or similar things every time you feel that fear, people will leave you.

Not because they don’t want to be your friend, your partner, your roommate, whatever. Not because you aren’t deserving of friends (you are), but because it is exhausting to be constantly told by someone you like/love to go away.

Because that is how it feels on the other end. I don’t say this to make it worse, or to make you feel like you’re at fault. Your brain is hurting you, and it’s okay to feel things. But if you find that it’s hard to keep people around you, then you need to hear that outside of things like conversations about boundaries and triggers and such, it would be to your benefit to change your language.

Instead of telling people “you probably don’t like me”, try asking. “You like me? It’s much easier for them to reassure you when you don’t start with a negative, because it puts your brain in a different mindset, one that finds it easier to believe their response.

Sit with your issues. Parent them. And when they’re done screaming, hold their little hands and dry their little faces and try to remember that you are worth being loved. I won’t say it’s easy, because it’s really fucking not. I won’t say you’ll get it the first time, or that you’ll never fuck up. I still do. But you deserve friends and partners and love, it’s just that so do they.

When it comes to honourifics, don’t call me mr or ms, instead yell COMRADE in a Russian accent.

politicians are bad in bed

“Those who don’t know how to make love do war.”

— Syngué Sabour

Hes got that windows media player pussy

i am gods bastard child and my mothers conditional love and my fathers temper and my sisters eyes and my brothers anger. i am the mother and the father and the sister and the brother and i am god and i am all of them combined

To US leftists out there: please, actually focus on the situation. Focus on Russia and Ukraine.

I'm so tired of how, every time someone condemns Russia's actions, some of you just come in and start going "Oh, but the US did X, Y and Z" or "NATO has issues", as if that's relevant to this situation. It's not. By acting as though the US or NATO is somehow the aggressor here, you are buying into Russian propaganda and downplaying their actions, whether intentionally or not.

In your attempt to be against US imperialism, instead of having a nuanced take, you just side with countries that are anti-US and act as though those countries are inherently better than the US just because they oppose it. But please, understand that two things can be bad at the same time, and not all far-right/imperialist governments like each other.

Also, continuously shifting the focus away from Ukraine and towards the US/NATO is, frankly, very self-centered, and it's completely ignoring the fact that the people who are actually affected by this are Ukrainians. None of you are gonna be affected in any way beyond simply being upset about it.

Which brings me to another point: supposedly progressive people dismissing the idea that Russia is a threat. Yeah, it may not be a threat to you, far away on a different continent if you're in the US, and other NATO members are also safe. But Russia's neighbors who are not in NATO are not safe.

By dismissing Russia (an imperialist autocracy with nuclear weapons, may I remind you) as a real threat is treating the lives of the people in neighboring countries as disposable and lesser than the lives of those in the West. In this specific situation, it's treating Ukrainians as disposable.

Please, just because a country/government opposes the US doesn't mean it's good, or that you have to side with it. The Russian government doesn't hate the US for the same reasons you do. It hates things like human rights, free speech and fair elections - things that are objectively good.

And remember, the only "threat" to Russia by Ukraine preferring the West and wanting to join the EU and/or NATO is that Russia would no longer be able to invade or bully it if it joined, because then it would have protection. There is no "legitimate threat" to Russia here, certainly not militarily.

Winter'21/22 reset prep & plan

Hi angels, it's been a minute since my last blog post but I'm back and ready for a much needed transformation.

Winter is the PERFECT time for a reset and for getting yourself back on track after a detour (which are very common and very normal and totally okay!)

I myself haven't been feeling so great lately, due to a combination of things, a lack of time and energy and I haven't been doing the things that make me feel like me and I have felt like in certain situations, I've violated my own boundaries and abounded my values for the sake of others and a few events in my life completely changed the way I view the world, myself and others. But this is not what this post is about, this post is for anyone that feels like they need a fresh start or feels like they need to get back on track! (although I def have to make a few posts about some of these topics because they are SO important)

You need a fresh start before new year's so you can become the best version of yourself. You do not want to be making major changes without addressing your current problems.

Grab a pice of paper and pen and get ready to dig deep! Remember the theme of this is RESET.

Phase 1 (plan)

Figure out what you want out of this reset. Everyone's journey is different. I personally want to get back to where I was, you could want to turn a new page after heartbreak, or you could want to completely abandon your old life and your old self and start from the beginning. Everyone's going to have different needs, identify them.

Reflect on your current situation

Figure out exactly which areas of your life that you've neglected, and find out why

Identify bad habits you want to get rid of

Identify your triggers

Try to get a clear idea of where you want to be at the end of winter (this is going ti be different for everyone)

Notice if anything's been bothering you lately (do you seem to have less energy, are you forgetting things easily, that sort of thing)

Remember good habits/ routines you had implemented but now no longer engage in

Identify the situations/ people/ events/ habits that do not serve you, and let go of them

If it does not make you feel good, it has no place in your life

Find out which situations/ trauma remain unresolved, and sit with yourself for while and try to work them. Feel free to reach out to someone if needed.

Shadow work is perfect for this!!

Get crystal clear on who you are as an individual, what you stand for, what you believe in, what you like, what you dislike, etc. get to know yourself!

re-examine your goals and re-focus if needed

Phase 2 (feel your best)

Health

Get back on your diet (if you were on one like keto, paleo, Mediterranean, intermittent fasting, plant-based, etc.)

This time of year I find that people tend to eat heavier, more sugary meals, I for one am guilty, and they tend to upset my gut. I would recommend you find out which foods make you feel bad/ sluggish/ heavy/ nauseous/ bloated/ etc. and limit them

Now is a great time to go on a water fast if you're experienced with fasting

Try to walk and dance more

If you've stopped working out, ease your way back into it, starting with once a week, twice a week, etc until you're back at your regular pace.

Swap out your usual routine for something less intense (walking instead of running, lighter weights, etc.)

Get your blood tested!!! check your vitamin D, B12 and iron levels

Tea has so many benefits and will keep you warm!

Face & Body care

If you've been neglecting your self-maintenance this is the time to get back to old routines. Personally, I haven't found the energy for my weekly facials however I enjoy them so much and I've decided this is something I want back in my life, I also need to get back on my IPL schedule. This is going to be different for everyone.

Hair

clarifying treatments

henna masks

hair masks in general

get a trim or look into dusting if you want to maintain your length

ACV rinses are great

Give your hair a break from relaxers, heat, bleach, etc.

Scent

How to smell good from head to toe, AKA my scent routine

Also, figure out if you have BO and try to get rid of it (I can make a post on this!)

Phase 3 (mental wellbeing)

This is the star of this reset!

Give yourself a social media detox, whatever that looks like for you (take a break/ edit your followers and following lists/ completely delete/ deactivate your account/ only use social media on your laptop/ use extensions to limit your social media usage/ only for 30 minutes a day/ etc. figure out what works best for you and what you need)

Cut out toxic people from your life and people who do not make you feel good

Find out what drains your energy (people, places, situations, social media, listening to too much music with harmful lyrics, partying, gossiping, etc.)

Get clear on your personal values

Get clear on your personal boundaries (in relationships, friendships, at work/ school, mental boundaries as well)

Identify any self-sabotaging or people pleasing behaviour

Let go and detach yourself from anything that does not serve

Release shame

Forgive yourself

Recognize and stop comparison

Get clear on what you will and will not tolerate

Place some rules on yourself and your life, if you find yourself going down a slippery path (I will not vape, I will not entertain a man just because I'm bored, I'm will not gossip, etc.)

Work on getting eight hours of sleep

Journal to organize your thoughts

Once again, shadow work!!!

Go on a dopamine detox

Recognize red flags in relationships, friendships, work place, etc.

Recognize your own red flags and work on them

Give yourself closure if you need to

Vent to a friend who is willing to help

Remove yourself from harmful situations

Choose to be happy

Reconnect with old friends

Smiling is an instant mood booster

Work on your insecurities

practice intentional kindness, to yourself and others

Speaking of, self-compassion is so so important during this journey

Find your comfort shows/ movies/ food for fun

appreciate and find joy in the little things

Work on any traumas you may have (childhood, generational, relationships, friendships, etc.)

Identify unhealthy patterns in your life

Recognize what your grateful for

Recognize the areas in your life where you have improved, things your proud of yourself for, no mater how small

Heal energetic cords

Choose to put things behind you and to move on

Be intentional with everything, with your healing, with your emotions, with your thoughts and your actions

Journal for self-reflection

celebrate small victories

Positive self talk in the mirror is life-changing

Find out what fulfill you

Let go of limiting beliefs

make your self and your wellbeing a priority

Remind yourself of moments life has been kind to you

Focus on healing

Stop caring about other people's judgements of you

learn to control your emotions and reactions

Phase 4 (living)

Now is a great time for any of your usual reset rituals

Spend time with people you leave you feeling good

Do something nice for someone

Yoga + meditation for new beginnings

Practice LOA, whatever that means for you

Get back on track with your studying

revisit and relearn old skills

Do small things that make you happy (baking brownies, buying flowers, painting your nails, etc.)

Explore your city!! there are so many fun things to do

Consider taking a trip somewhere

Buy yourself a symbolic piece of jewellery

Asses your money habits

Make any and all lifestyle changes necessary

Work on reimplementing any good habits/ routines back into your life

Get enough sleep!!

Go out in nature! it's so healing

make plans for days when you are not feeling so great

I just want you to know that I am so so proud of you for putting in the effort to better your self and your life. Self-improvement journeys are never linear and you will have bad days, bad weeks or bad months and that's okay! it is a part of growth.

Lots of love,

Serena

xx

Babe your pussy is so labyrinthian it's got the minotaur and everything 😳

nov 4 2021 — silas denver melvin

click for better quality

[Text ID: i view each day only as another grave plot ive yet to pour cement into we're all waiting for our dead to catch up to us i like being a man but not when my father's around i think if my grandpa survived any longer, he would have learned to hate me i joke about being the runt of the family i upright the angels at the cemetery i tell people this because i want to be loved i do bad things my neurotic behavior rivals a trapped bird my heart resembles a bruised burial all i know is my mother doesn't want to be cremated i talk to none of my cousins my uncles wouldn't be able to pick me out of a lineup even my nana didn't understand my ma tried to teach me shame so i wouldn't get hurt i got hurt anyway if it's a game, im losing if i was meant to live this long, i think god is wasteful ive got no legacy ive got no idea what i want to do when i die /End ID]