You Know Something Weird? All These Years, And We Don't Have A Themed Name For Antares/tattletale. Like.

You ever have a thought you want to share but you can't remember the thought so you ponder and wonder and imagine what it could be and it slips away from you? And it feels like a loss but with no found so you're just left thinking what could have been? It's not a gap in my mind or memory, it's just inverted, hyper aware of the space it is in but entirely excluded from knowing what's inside. So very tired

Did I do any writing today? No. But I *did* play NieR Automata and paint my nails, so it all evens out I think.

Had another long Elden Ring session today, so here's my progress:

1. Explored a bunch of new places in Liurnia, mostly on the eastern side.

2. Cleared a few Liurnia dungeons.

3. Started experimenting with some new weapons for fun.

4. Went down into the Ainsel River, via the lift, and killed the Withered Astel and the Dragonkin Soldier of Nokstella.

5. Now trying to breach Caria Manor, to meet the best girl.

I'm really not a fan of the giant ants, they freak me out but at least theyre easy to bait. I think the only enemy I died to was the Deathbird to the East of Raya Lucaria? Almost all of my deaths today were to falling in the Raya Lucaria Crystal Tunnel while I tried to do the little parkour section, most of those deaths coming as I desperately tried to retrieve thousands of stranded runes over and over again.

I think Liurnia might be my favorite of the two between it and Limgrave? Though that is a very small pool so we will see if it changes going forward.

Guilt sucks, honestly. I hate feeling guilty, especially over nothing. It's not a guilt of "oh I did this thing and that was wrong of me :(" its the guilt of "I feel this way and I feel like I shouldn't". It's a guilt of imagined transgression and I really wish it would stop. Though I cannot tell which way I would prefer more, the guilt to recede and finding satisfaction with my feelings, or my feelings coming to align with the manner I imagine they should, thus eliminating the guilt.

I don't often like sharing feelings like this, in fact venting or exposing my emotions just makes me feel guilty for taking up other people's times or thoughts with my nonsense, but it was a thought looping my mind over and over enough that it required a post.

The other day I noticed that one of the roads I drive by on my regular commute is named "Leet Street" and boy did the whiplash from realizing that for the first time nearly crash my damn car

People can say that we will "feel Mother Nature's wrath" and no one cares

But *I* say "step on me, Mommy Gaea" and suddenly it's an issue

Do I eat because I'm hungry? No.

I eat because my brain finds writing fanfic easier on a full stomach.

All the NSFW art plaguing my feed has taken a turn for the worse. There's *men* now - kissing women! Disgraceful, my yuri heart can't take it anymore

(ノ-_-)ノ~┻━┻

sinuses.. you have betrayed me...

is this what I deserve..? for huffing campfire smoke for 3 hours?

tragedy... *sniffle*

Didnt make a post earlier because I didnt stop playing until 2am lol.

So I've played some more Elden Ring, cleared the wooded area of the Siofra River, killed all the enemies got the Ancestor Spirit and the Dragonkin Soldier done in one go, later on I died to the Crucible Knight over on the isolated platform. Worst. Enemy. Ever.

Also explored like, half of Caelid? Went through Sellia and the surrounding cliffs, explored almost all of the western side of Caelid. I even visited Redmane Castle, though I did not fight Radahn yet. I also didn't fight the rotted dragon, I think I would die very fast, I see a big health bar.

I had a small excursion into Greyoll's Dragonbarrow, grabbed the map, visited the isolated merchant, and tried to scale the Divine Tower (i want the greatsword at the bottom) but I couldn't figure it out.

Still a basic bitch using Bloodhound's Fang for almost every encounter, but I found it on my own without a guide and I could care less what soulsborne purists think.

I think I'm going to take another small break from playing as well. Love this game, though.