Isa: Jake, What Is It Called When You Can’t Sleep At Night?
Isa: Jake, what is it called when you can’t sleep at night?
Jake: Depression, obviously.
Isa: Was it not Insomnia?
Jake: They changed it this year.
More Posts from Pistachiophobia and Others
Isa: Why do people say "tuna fish" when they don't say "beef mammal" or "chicken bird"?
Jake: Let me tell you something right now. Whenever I make a mistake, Isa yells at me and I end up apologizing. But when she makes a mistake, I yell and she cries and then I apologize.
Isa: What does a relationship feel like? Jake: Butterflies in your stomach and the thought of protecting someone you care about. Isa: Okay, then what? Jake: Cocoon them so they can't leave. Jake: Mutual relationships.
Isa, holding a kettle: Coffee or tea?
Jake: Tea.
Isa: Wrong. It's coffee.
barely anyone wants to read my shit. i’ll just keep posting till people actually like my stuff. just sayin.
Kaylee: Kai, I’m so happy I could kiss you!
Kai: *nervous laughter* Umm… Neat!
[Later]
Kai: I can’t believe I said neat, Jake. Neat! Nobody says neat anymore! It’s the goddamn 21st century! It’s not neat to say neat, but I said it anyway because I’m a huge loser!
Jake: *idly turns magazine page* Hey, don’t beat yourself up. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what happened when Isa confessed to me?
Kai: Didn’t you like, thanked her?
Jake: *closes magazine and stares at the ceiling* I thanked her.
Jake: The first time I ever got upset in front of Isa, she put her arms around me and it was so awkward that I had to ask her if she was hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.
Isa: I was doing both, for your information.
Kai: The first time Isa hugged me, it was such a disaster we didn’t make eye contact for, like, a week after.
