You Know Those “Lambchop” Toys They Make For Dogs? I’m One Of Those.

Reblog If you Want Gross Kinky Asks And Confessions In Your Inbox

Little lambs like me do a certain math when it comes to dogs:

The herding dog is small and nimble, they’re my friend! It’s fun even though sometimes they jump on me and nip me

The livestock guardian dog is bigger and fluffier, and they never bite, they love to cuddle with me and lick my head so softly and make sure I’m okay

The wolf over by the fence is even bigger and fluffier than the others, I bet they’re super nice! I should go over so we can be friends too!

I’m a simple dog, I love the floor

medplay but you have to give me a lollipop* and stickers afterwards

*lollipop has to be cotton candy or rootbeer flavored

Hiiii you don't mind me teasing your nipples while we talk right? Thanks, I knew you'd be cool! Go on, keep talking, I'm listening. What's wrong? You're getting all shaky and breathless. Yeah, don't mind me, I'm just fidgety, can't help it lol. C'mon, I'm barely touching you, can't you keep your head on straight? Oh, you're really dripping down there! Wow, are you literally wet through your clothes? Hold on, I wanna feel. Holy shit, you're soaked. What was that? Finish your sentence. Literally, I'm not even under your clothes, just say what you were thinking! Geez, you're a mess! Do you need to take a little break? No? You want me to keep going? :3

do u guys like my new hashtag for my original textposts:3 squeak squeak

Wise words to live by 🤤

grrrr the amount of laundry i have in my room is getting unbearable and yet i dont bother on doing it >:(

at this point i need some motivation. make someone shove a vibrator in me and keep it on until i finish all my chores. make it so i cant get off until im done running around the house. or maybe like… a spray bottle would work too

plushie expletives:

holy stitches

oh my buttons

dear stuffing

what the fabric

im sorry i started humping your leg while we made out

it will happen again