I Was Born With The Compulsive Need To Do My Own Thang

we named it the computer mouse because it fit so comfortably in our hands and it reminded us of ancient times where our ancestors put their palms over the backs of cave mice and shuffled them across the ground to move the cursor on their cave wall mounted gaming monitors

will you just let me be silly for a sec. there's this dread so ancient in me

i got my new tetanus shot who wants to play bucket of rusty nails withme ^_^

you're too logged on man your consumption of internet porn has severed your psychospiritual connection with the beauty of the natural land. i spent 10 months in sensory deprivation exclusively cranking it to the gentle soundscape of a babbling brook and now when i hear the tap on a soda machine go off i bust so hard the gas station clerk has to call the police

sniffs you

i don't know man, i just wish that we could [suddenly realising i'm coming dangerously close to expressing a real and earnest thought instead of filtering everything through several layers of intangible running bits] blow up the entire world. or something.

have we tried substance abuse my liege

they don't know about my infinite milk laundering scheme

One of my favourites from the subreddit