hi everyone!! this is squirt. he is three years old and he's a very beloved emotional support animal. since he came into our lives, he has been a huge help with my fiancee's depression and PTSD. he's the sweetest cat i've ever met.
he is also very sick. over this past weekend, we noticed that his breathing was very labored and that he was lethargic; he wasn't eating or playing with our other cat. when the breathing difficulty persisted, we decided to take him to the vet.
after getting him x-rayed, we were told that squirt has a "diffuse mixed pulmonary pattern...characterized by multiple coalescing rounded soft-tissue opaque nodules with a concurrent bronchial and unstructured interstitial pattern". basically, there's something in his lungs that's making it hard for him to breathe.
the vet believes he has either fungal pneumonia, toxoplasmosa, mycoplasma, or immune mediated pulmonary disease. they would like to hospitalize him and run the proper tests to get him diagnosed (and eventually treated). unfortunately, we cannot afford the cost of the tests. we were able to get him some medication that is going to keep him comfortable, but these meds will not make him better.
here is the current cost estimate for his care we were given by our vet (5/17/2021):
we were told by the vet that he has a chance at a long life if we can pull the money together to get him treated. he has brought so much comfort into my fiancee's life and made them so happy. if we cannot pay to take care of his medical needs, we will need to put him down.
we have started a gofundme to cover the cost of his diagnostic tests and initial treatments. our current fundraising goal is $5,500. these funds are going towards Squirt's diagnosis--we are likely going to have to update this page with an increased amount depending on what the diagnosis actually is. (for instance, if it's fungal pneumonia, we've been told that therapy to treat it can be expensive as well.) additional information we were given from our vet is posted on the gofundme page. additionally, my fiancee is available to take digital art commissions if you would prefer to help us that way. here is their art blog. money made from commissions will also go to squirt's medication and care. commission info can be found on this carrd. please help us save our cat. he's a very good boy. if he has a chance at living, we would like to save him and give him a long, happy life.
so are you trying to kill me (derogatory) or are you trying to kill me (romantic)
I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but intrusive thoughts are basically your brain’s (sometimes very upsetting) way of saying “If there were two guys on the moon and one of them killed the other with a rock would that be fucked up or what?”
I’ve personally found that adding the “would that be fucked or what?” part in myself really helps put the more disturbing thoughts we sometimes get into perspective. Helps me say “yeah thar sure would be fucked up” and move on with my day.
It’s not a secret desire, it’s not something that only occurs to you because you’re a bad person. It’s just your brain deciding to process the fact that it knows an uncomfortable thing exists in the world by feeding it to you in an absurd “what if” with you as the main character.
the niunjogas
-on alternate timelines and universes
everything everywhere all at once/ @inanotherunivrse/ complex- katie gregson-macleod/ @tiredbtw/ @loviely/ eternal sunshine of the spotless mind/ @death-born-aphrodite
Love yourself.
— written by yours truly
“i feel like i have no purpose” You are not a fixed entity. You do not have one grand, singular, constant purpose. As long as you have genuine intent behind your actions, everything you do serves a purpose. As long as you are truly present, you notice that everything contributes to a greater whole. You do not need to dedicate yourself endlessly to one practice to achieve a purpose; allow yourself to oscillate freely between them all. Experiment. You are not one dimensional: treat yourself as such.
you are not a collection of your worst thoughts. you are the self control you demonstrate every time you turn your back on those thoughts, the beauty of defying nature.
from a student with ADHD
(or if you just have trouble concentrating)
no, really. there can be any number of excuses not to (i use it as an alarm/timer, what if there's an emergency, but i use it during breaks) but i guarantee that you will focus better without the ability to check your social media. if you're genuinely worried about missing a phone call, don't put it on silent, and leave it across the room so you can hear it, but make sure it's out of reach.
they're a life-saver. i use them to help with sensory overloads, but now i wear them pretty much every time i study. regular headphones with some kind of neutral backing noise also work pretty well.
maybe somewhere, somehow, there exists a person who can actually listen to music and focus, but i've never met one. my adhd means i get distracted by anything. i'm a good multitasker, but not when the task requires lots of thought, like my science or math homework, or that english essay i've been putting off. if science is distracting for you as well, put on a neutral background noise (no, not lo-fi hiphop beats - unless that works for you). i usually put rain sounds or white or brown noise (the latter is my favourite).
you've probably heard this one before, but adhd makes tackling big tasks seem really daunting. like, where do you even start? before beginning a massive project, make a list of every little thing you need to do. it might seem stupid or excessive, but i can't stress how much it helps. it also gives you a sense of accomplishment whenever you knock a task off the list.
this one is one i'm still getting used to. i realised, after hours of sitting at my desk, not wanting to start on my essay but not wanting to actively NOT write my essay, and just generally feeling like shit, that it would have been better to spend those hours doing that thing i wanted to do (learn that song on my guitar, finally finish the painting sitting on my desk, write the poem that i had scribbled in my notebook a week ago). if you know you're not going to get started on your work, you might as well do something else that isn't as pressing but you still need to get done. it's okay not to be 100% productive al the time.
this is a big one. i found that having a lot of stuff on or around my desk just makes me feel fenced in. i like to have 1 lamp, 1 cup of pens/pencils/highlighters, a cup of tea, tissues, and whatever i'm working on. when you're done with a task, PUT IT AWAY ASAP. that way, it doesn't build up, and you can feel ready to start on the next thing.
i feel like this relates to the point above, but don't have lots of visible posters/lights/tempting tasks. maybe close your blinds or your door, or study in a library instead of your room if it is too bright and colourful.
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS. the pomodoro method involves working for a consistent slot of time (usually 25 minutes, but whatever works for you) and then having a short break (5-10 minutes), and then a long break every 2-5 "slots" (15-20 minutes). if you don't trust yourself to stick to a timer, get a cute app on your laptop - there are heaps of different themes, and it will help you organise your time and tasks. instead of thinking about a task like "it will take me 2 hours", think about it like "it will take me 4 slots of time", and it will be much less daunting.
(note: for your breaks, try not to reach for your phone/social media. this is a rabbit hole. maybe draw for a minute, or read a few pages of a book. do something you can easily and quickly put away.)
apps like notion can be really helpful when organising tasks/your workspace, but they can also suck hours of your time away if you're not careful. not everything has to be perfect/meticulously planned, and you're not working on your homework by planning your weekly schedule. speaking from experience, it's really easy to get caught up in something that may feel productive, but really isn't.
WEAR THEM WHEN YOU STUDY. i'm very mildly farsighted, which means wearing glasses when i read for long periods of time helps me prevent headaches. technically, i can go without them, and for a few years i usually did, but i've noticed that wearing them when i study has the benefit of getting me in the right headspace, and also stops me from looking up or around my room too often, as the prescription makes me dizzy when looking at things far away.
i know you hate hearing this, but usually, knocking one or two things off your list can help you get motivated. often, things that seem really difficult or time consuming aren't as bad once you've gotten started.
good luck!
i'm like if jesse pinkman wrote emo poetry and reblogged random shit // any prns ★
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