Dark Poem - Blog Posts
Prisoners woes:
You are the monster that I see at night,
The thing that haunts me in my dreams.
You are a beast,
Living to consume,
The horrid and rude.
You live for extravagance,
And quiet secrets,
Hiding your evil deep within.
[VERSE 1]
In shadows cast by pale moonlight,
You emerge, a monster of the night,
A haunting presence in my dreams,
A beastly figure, or so it seems.
[VERSE 2]
You thrive on darkness, consuming all,
A voracious appetite, standing tall,
With horrid manners and rude demeanor,
Your existence, a dreadful arena.
[VERSE 3]
Within your heart, secrets reside,
Hidden depths where evil does hide,
Extravagance your sole desire,
Fueling the flames of your wicked fire.
[VERSE 4]
But fear not, for I will not cower,
Against your darkness, I'll find power,
For even monsters can be tamed,
By love and kindness, they can be reclaimed.
[VERSE 5]
So let us strive to see beyond,
The outer shell where darkness spawned,
And seek the good that lies within,
To banish the beast and let light win.
Toothache
Mirror mirror why do you show
The train that can’t be coming that slow
I feel the rumbling under my feet, in my bones and in my teeth
Mirror mirror why do you lie
Showing me a girl when I can’t fly
I feel the ache, the tears and all I’ve ate
Mirror mirror why have you forsaken me
Why don’t you show me what I could see
I see your cracks and blood and flack
Mirror mirror what have you done
What can I do to make us one
I see them here, dead and free
Why do I see them in your face, but only death stares in my place
Hi! Op Loki here in the explain-inator! Welcome those who are curious enough to step foot into the ‘keep reading’ box! I suffer from insomnia and occasional hallucinations during said insomnia episodes, which often can be somewhat useful in helping me pinpoint which part of my mental state caused this little bout of insomnia. Recently (for when I wrote this) I’ve been suffering from bodily autonomy issues due to my education’s strict policies and many people demanding my time and effort for their own conveniences. I usually have a hard time saying no to these people because they’re usually closer to me, and it got to the point where it was like ‘hold on a minute, this is *deadname*, not Legion/Loki’. When I thought about myself. And, well, the hallucination wanted to highlight the unstoppable passage of time, my autonomy issues, and the inherent dysphoria that comes with being LGBT in general. And, to do that, it chose time, mirrors, and vampires. But who am I to question- would this be Apollo? Thanks, Apollo, ik I’m still new to worship, but this helped. A lot. And Ares, for giving me the strength to fight.
One of us is dead.
It's dark outside, it's dark inside
I woke up from the crash without you beside.
It's dark outside, it's dark inside
All I can feel is my hand covered in blood that's dried.
A blaze of light, an ear-splitting screech
Before I could grasp, you were out of reach.
A blaze of light, an ear-splitting screech
While we desperately try to hold on to each.
The world upended, everything still
What just happened? Was it real or just a drill?
The world upended, everything still
A feeling down my spine, is it blood or just a chill?
I lay there, feeling the time cease
Exhausted as the pain increased.
I lay there, feeling the time cease
Wishing I could just sleep in peace.
Days skip ahead, Weeks skip ahead,
You don't see the tears I shed.
Days skip ahead, Weeks skip ahead,
You don't hear a word I said.
I lose count, Time skips ahead,
And I realize one of us is dead.
The worst thing you ever did was to make me believe I could be loved
Thorn to my rose
Pic via pinterest
In a room full of strangers, our eyes met in secrecy.
With that striking smile of yours, you simply just ended me.
Gently whispered words killed me more than any poison could.
Loved you way too fondly than any lover ever should.
In frightened voice and shaky hands, I was scared to lose you.
In granted lives and afterlife, I was never meant to have you.
What is life anymore, if not just the absence of you?
Had to watch you bleed to death, what is even left to lose?
Once again in life I am terrified to let you close.
You were my known ruin. A lethal thorn, my gentle rose.
Pic via pinterest
Is it normal to grieve yourself?
And still yearn the grief?
To know you'll be eternally hurting,
Why is it such a relief?
I implore the great old oak, she who holds knowledge; she who holds power.
I implore the great old oak, forgive me; forgive us.
I implore the graceful cherry blossom tree, he who vigils life as death; he who makes the violence art.
I implore the graceful cherry blossom, stay with me; do not fleet from us as life does
I implore the soon barren earth, hold my hand; guide us to our fate
I implore the soon barren earth, she who mothers; she who guides
I implore the blinding sun and silent moon, they who shine; they who lead time
I implore the blinding sun and silent moon, do not stop the chime; judge us all for our greatest crime.
I implore she who holds power, he who makes art, she who mothers, they who shine.
Please forgive and be confined.
Please guide and flow time.
crush it.
i hold violence in my hands so i can crush it.
like citrus in a damn Sunkist,
i love it.
rinds of benevolence just can’t cut it.
can’t quit this;
can’t rise above it,
cause the juice is worth the squeeze.
poisoned orange intravenously,
fruit of the poisonous tree;
peel back what’s inevitably
flowing cold inside of me.
my anger chills righteously—
hellish from the seventh to ninth zone.
so-da freeze’s frigid to the depths
of my spinal bones
close to my heart;
can i kill the bicarbonate spark?
so-di-um salt tears can’t boil over
as acid starts to depart,
leaving a mark.
like angry chem-trails grieving the sky;
sickening all
that can’t bear to say goodbye.
pop another top, squash it with a sigh.
addicted to the misery, to the high—
to sugary sweet trickery,
and i don’t know why.
-kalika
today I am mourning for what's yet to come, deep in the afterparty of death
Black, tarred, the walls eat everything up
grim appetite for the full dark night
-s's.
carry me to the test
you have a dragon fire breath
you, with the light
and it shone through just in time
-s's.
Drink
from the poison bottle
sink
deeper into darkened depth
porcelain faucet
well kept kitchen
soft stench
portrait
baby smile
Rage
I see so much rage around us.
I stand amidst the boiling flames.
The fire in my heart longing to join in.
Like some twisted battle royale.
So much fury in this world.
Rage at the state of the Earth.
Rage at the state of every nation.
Rage at the state of Artificial Intelligence.
Rage at the state of the human species.
Rage at those who do not fit our version of reality.
Rage at those who speak what we see as falsehood.
Rage at those who cover up our version of truth.
Rage at those who rewrite.
Rage at those who lie.
Rage at those who are truthful.
Rage at anyone who doesn't agree.
We gather our forces, storm at each other
Seeing nothing but enemies to destroy
Our 'truths' are our missiles
Honed by curse words as fuel
With others' opinions as the target
Like some kind of shooter game
But in our blind, all consuming, feral rage
Like the primordial werewolf of old
We forget who throws the coals upon the kindling
Who writes the code of the game we play
Who watches us fight in the gladiators' arena and laughs
Who played the cards of Division Division Division?
Placed us into factions to play this Hunger Games?
If we do not quell this rage,
We will be as ashes
Nothing left to fight about.
When there is no-one left to fight.
Snow White Virgin
Snow White Virgin, Blood Red Whore Pure like fresh virginity falling like winter snow, her eyes like heaven, glow innocence, beckon me to her. I follow like a faithful servant, follow her into a locked room lined with the misery of hell and she transforms before my very eyes once blind. What stands before me drenched in blood and draped in seduction, shit, and mud. Blind are we to the essence of life and all we see is what we want. A Snow White Virgin becomes a Blood Red Whore. Once pure and silent eats sin and violence.
I blink twice and all is bright once more, her lips sweet like honey embrace me and once again I fight to see the truth. Face her and I see blackened rot and ruined meat. I see now the thing I hate, a whore, a saint, my love and fate. Blind are we to the essence of life and all we see is what we want. A Snow White Virgin becomes a Blood Red Whore. Once pure and silent eats sin and violence. Now all ye faithful in blissful ignorance look to your virgins and see the truth. The vows they promise are fell from lips of a whore and nothing more than innocence lost and buried in lies. Bodies swear to cleanness covered in flies and kisses of the blind servants. So come together all the blind and faithful and kneel before your Snow White Whores and Blood Red Virgins and feed them your wishes and sins and watch them bathe in seduction, shit, and mud.
-The Crow Queen
;; amanecer
de a poco voy cambiando. a paso de tortuga pero voy y eso es lo importante. estoy en calma y me siento segura ¿cómo es eso posible?
estoy tan acostumbrada a estar mal que ahora que estoy empezando a estar bien no sé qué hacer, me encuentro en un mundo desconocido que parece tan normal para todos y no sé cómo unirme así que me detengo y observo. ya no quiero que me lleve la corriente, ya no quiero esconderme en la oscuridad, ya no quiero este vacío. quiero elegir a donde voy y sin dudarlo. quiero querer algo que me haga bien y quiero sentirlo.
quiero ser feliz y creo que acabo de doblar en la dirección correcta. después de años cayendo, después de años tirándome, al fin encontré ayuda. me están pinchando la burbuja y estoy saliendo a la superficie.
están tirando de la soga y todavía no llegué a la salida pero voy en camino, así que espérenme.
espérenme porque recién me estoy despertando.
y tengo miedo de que todo sea una ilusión, de que al despertar me encuentre en una pesadilla peor a la de los sueños porque no hay peor terror que la realidad.
mi realidad.
mi oscuridad.
mi enfermedad.
por primera vez en años tengo un poco de esperanza, así que denme tiempo.
déjenme analizar este nuevo mundo que no conozco. este mundo que me encandila con tantos colores y brillos, hay muchas cosas y me emociona pero no sé si seré capaz.
aprendí a respirar bajo del agua y ahora que salí no puedo más que ahogarme en el mundo real.
es ahora cuando más necesito ayuda, ahora que estoy mejor, ahora que no me quiero ir.
no me quiero ir aunque todavía no haya llegado.
pero tampoco quiero recordar de donde vengo, no quiero volver jamás porque no se si seré capaz de soportarlo de nuevo. ¿7 años son suficientes, o no?
maldita depresión ¿qué quieres de mi? déjame tener energía, déjame tener la vida que me has robado, déjame ser alguien. te lo ruego. aunque sea un rato, solo quiero saber qué se siente sentir algo que no sea agobio.
y maldita ansiedad ¿no te cansas nunca de cansarme? la poca energía que tengo, la desgasto por tu culpa y ya estoy cansada. déjame en paz. quiero saber qué es estar en calma. quiero saber qué es respirar.
quiero saber qué es vivir.
quiero despertar.
;; they were
she was sad
he was not
she was a liar
he was not
she was alone
he was not
she was ready to die
he was not
she was completely unhappy
he was not
but at least she was alive
and he was not
she was sick
he was too.
no one
it doesn't matter how hard I'm trying to pretend that everything is okay.
it doesn't matter how sad I am and I've been all these years
it doesn't matter if I cry or if I destroy my body
it doesn't matter
because no one seems to notice
are they blind? are they ignoring me?
i know I'm not important but anyways I was at last expecting a kind of hero.
do I have to scream? because I'm already aphonic
and tired
of crying
of feeling more than lonely
of my mind
especially for this dark shitty awful pleace that we call mind.
of me
so I'm sorry if I give up
it's not your fault.
it's mine
all mine.
because I don't see the world the same you as you see it
i only see black and white
more black than white
more darkness
in this emptiness
in me.
I just want to stop overthinking every second of my life about this
about how useless I am
about all my defects
about things I can't do
about things I've done
about things I should have done
about things I should do but I know I'm not going to.
so that it, basically
my existence is nothing
just because I'm nothing.
;; explosión
quiero irme desesperadamente aunque aún no haya llegado.
;; alma perdida
el sentimiento de vacío persiste hace tanto tiempo que debería decir que ya es parte de mi y por ende que me acostumbré...pero no. no importa cuánto trate de hacer para sentirme diferente ni cuánto quiera salir de este pozo, siempre es lo mismo. caigo y caigo a la oscuridad, al vacío. floto en la nada misma donde no existe el tiempo ni el espacio, donde ni soy más que nada, un torrente de pensamientos acribilladores y todas las luces de los sentidos totalmente apagados. soy ingrávido y libre, soy oscuridad.
;; madrugada
con la mente rota y las manos llenas de sangre, tomo el cuchillo y escribo sobre la pared.
don't you see?? how broken and young we are?? I used to think that it was just me but no...we are all broken in different ways and that's so sad bc we think that we can't be fixed and that's not true, we can but we can't believe it and that's all bc we don't know or at least we don't remember what happiness is. all that we feel is pain, fuck...just think about it.
if we are all damn damaged by our damn own fucking minds at this age, what we can wait?
— written by yours truly
Pickled
sitting faithfully among my friends
I was pulled out and sliced by length
in fourths known as "spears"
I cried and yelped but no one heard my fears
into a glass cage I went
pressed up against my other quarts
and other mutilateds like me
all crying out in pain as the the gashes of our wound stung
the liquid filling our clear cell was as sharp as a million tiny knives
setting our bodies aflame
"two weeks time" the higher beings said
the very same being who torture without fret
but by two weeks would I even be alive?
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Midnight's Wasteland https://a.co/d/isIxn3t
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City Lights and Drunken Nights https://a.co/d/eXkz6EP
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Waiting on a Light That Was Never There https://a.co/d/2yTkZdM
