"This Blurring Of Sexual Lines Was Part Of The Creative Mix Of The Culture, But It Also Had Its Dark

Sir Paul was asked if Lennon were alive, which McCartney song he would like him to play. He said: ''Maybe I'm Amazed came into my mind. That would be interesting to hear him sing that.''

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Asked if he had to choose a song to be remembered by, Sir Paul said: ''Your songs are like your babies, you don't want to have a favourite. But Maybe I'm Amazed - 'cos John's got to sing it.”

Paul McCartney at a press event for Good Evening New York City, November 25th, 2009

there's a story.

it's a sad one, this.

it starts - well, it's hard to say when it starts. maybe it started way before music was even a thing. maybe it started before time itself. maybe it doesn't have a start: suddenly everything just fell into place when those two teenagers sat in front of each other with guitars on their laps and played music for the first time. but, on record, one can say it really starts to be told out loud in the middle, towards the end. that's when it starts to truly be spoken of, sang of, wide open, undeniable. almost a cry for attention, for communication, "look, now i'm going to sing about this", because when everything else fails, they had music - they have always had music.

so it starts right before the big plot twist, before the season finale, before the breakup. or it starts right after that. nobody truly knows, really. real life stories are not divided in seasons, and this one is real. very, very real, very human. either way, this story starts to be told with two of us. it starts towards the end, but cries for the beginning, for the very beginning.

We're on our way home We're going home You and I have memories That stretches out ahead

and then, it goes on, it goes on to plead, to beg, scream, to desperately reach:

Oh! Darling, if you leave me I'll never make it alone Believe me when I beg you Don't ever leave me alone

the story sees confusion, it sees defeat, it sees someone who wants. someone who is trying, but failing because they don't know the way. someone who needs, who desperately needs, but doesn't know how to ask. they were on their way back home, but now, they've lost the way, they can't find the road. or, rather, the road is there, but it's all foggy. where's home? but they're trying. the many ways i've tried.

The wild and windy night That the rain washed away Has left a pool of tears Crying for the day Why leave me standing here? Let me know the way

it sees heartbreak.

I don't believe in Beatles I just believe in me Yoko and me And that's reality The dream is over What can I say?

it sees anger,

That was your first mistake You took your lucky break and broke it in two. Now what can be done for you? You broke it in two.

A pretty face may last a year or two But pretty soon they'll see what you can do The sound you make is muzak to my ears You must have learned something all those years

and desperation, always desperation, a need to know, please tell me why-

Well, I wake up in the morning, I'm still dreaming 'bout you Tell you, pretty baby, I'm blue Wake up in the evening, I'm still screaming out Over you, over you Well, tell me why, why, why do you treat me so bad, so bad When you're the best friend a man ever had?

and questions, a perpetual need to know, followed by a perpetual failure to ask-

Dear friend, throw the wine I'm in love with a friend of mine Really truly, young and newly wed Are you afraid, or are you blue?

and apologies - because they were just lost. lost. and frightened. why? because i was afraid of losing you. am i afraid? yes, i am. are you blue? yes. yes i am.

I was feeling insecure You might not love me anymore I was shivering inside I was shivering inside Oh, I didn't mean to hurt you I'm sorry that I made you cry Oh no, I didn't want to hurt you I'm just a jealous guy

and the story, after all of that, sees understanding. it's because i couldn't speak, and neither could you. but i know now. and it's getting better all the time.

And I know and I'm sorry (yes I am) But I never could speak my mind [...] And I know and I'm guilty (yes I am) But I never could read your mind I know what I was missing But now my eyes can see I put myself in your place As you did for me Today, I love you more than yesterday Right now, I love you more right now

and, after so long, it sees the spring coming after a long winter. a friend that will never fade away, a love that will never disappear.

You want a friend you can rely on One who will never fade away And if you're searching for an answer Stick around, I say It's coming up, it's coming up It's coming up, like a flower

and finally, it goes back to where it first started when they sang it aloud, open and clear, in two of us: there's pleading for the start, for the past, we have memories longer than the road that stretches out ahead, let's go back to that road, let's walk it again, let's escape, you and me. we've been through it all, we've been apart for far too long, it's okay now, we're okay now, i miss you, let's get it together, let's walk that road again like we used to. let's get back home. because when i see you, it's like we both are falling in love again.

It's time to spread our wings and fly Don't let another day go by my love It'll be just like starting over Startin' over Why don't we take off alone Take a trip somewhere far, far away We'll be together all alone again Like we used to in the early days

and then there's a bright future ahead. there is. hapiness and promises. for love, for acceptance, for family. i'm okay now, i can handle this, i want to see my kid growing up. and we can start over. it is coming up, like a flower. it's getting better all the time.

Before you go to sleep Say a little prayer Every day in every way It's getting better and better

and there's: i want to spend the rest of my life with you. whatever happens. i want to look you in the eye when we're eighty and make sure you know i love you just as much.

Grow old along with me Whatever fate decrees We will see it through For our love is true

and then. well.

then the story sees tragedy. unexplicable, cruel, devastating tragedy. unjustifiable loss. it sees, for the first time, not music but silence for a while, silence.

just silence and hidden-away, chest-aching sobs.

and then it sees music again. this time to mourn. it's not two of us, it's the one who remains. the one who wishes the other was here. always, always reaching for the start.

But as for me I still remember how it was before And I am holding back the tears no more I love you

now, music is still desperate, still trying to reach. but, now, it will never be able to get to the other side. or is it?

in real life, we don't have happy endings all the time. most of the time we don't. we're left with what ifs. what if. what if i had been braver. what if i was born a girl. what if. what if. could we have been together? could i have saved you?

What opportunities did we allow to flow by Feeling like like the timing wasn't quite right? What kind of magic might have worked if we had stayed calm, Couldn't I have given you a better life?

it's a story of what if. what if whatever fate decrees had been different? was it fate who decreed it? could i have given you a better life? because you deserved a better life. you did.

and it keeps coming back to it: the past, the desire to still be on that road going back home. going back home. we'll be together all alone again like we used to in the early days / i live through those early days

And they can't take it from me, if they try I live through those early days So many times I had to change the pain to laughter Just to keep from getting crazy

and then, and then, the story sees magic, sees love, as it has always done. so much love. it keeps seeing love. after sorrow, after darkness, love. even though fate was mean, even though it's sad: the love is still here. the love never left. a love so true it endures. it endures in song and it endures in the way paul keeps talking about john to this day, reafirming it, making sure people know. whatever fate decrees, our love is true. will forever be.

there's a story.

it's one that is so real. so painstakingly human. as beautiful as it is sad. it's all there, in the music, in the silence, in the words and in the what ifs. music speaks when they don't. music reaches. it reaches. it has always done so. always for them. they changed the world just with how much their music reached each other. and you’re in my song.

And if I say I really loved you And was glad you came along Then you were here today For you were in my song

there's a story, the story of a love so strong it changed the world.

it's like you and me are lovers.

Hey can you tell me more about I Don't Know (Johnny, Johnny)? because there is very very little info about it online and the only source of the song i can listen to was a youtube video. Considering the excessive research of everything beatles by a fuckton of people, I'm surprised we don't know much about this. (because really, it it is what people say it is, it burned down all the mclennon doubts i had)

You’re right. This song was written around 1959/1960. The only audio we have, this one,  is the recording of a rehearsal made in 1960 at Paul’s house. 

Even if the recording is damaged and the sound is shitty the lyrics are quite easy to understand:

P- Well oh Johnny, oh Johnny, oh god Johnny boy

How are we gonna tell him

Why don’t we go somewhere where he don’t own me

Where can i go?

Oh Johnny boy you wore me out.

Oh Johnny, oh Johnny, oh Johnny boy

Oh Johnny, you got me, you be my boy

Well, a long time ago, I called you Johnny boy.

J- Hey little boy, I’m packing my shoes, and I’m leaving you.

I told my Mama I’m going to see my sister

She don’t see me, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

P- A long time ago I called you Johnny boy.

I don’t know what to tell the fellas.

Please, oh please, Johnny.

J- Well I’ll tell the fellas that I do love you.

P- I don’t know what I’m gonna do.

I don’t know what I’m gonna do when I tell my father

You love me Johnny, I love you Johnny

I’m not gonna let you go.

P- I don’t know what I’m gonna do when I tell my father

You wore me down, you wore me down.

You’re gonna leave, you’re gonna leave me

Please, oh, I’m not gonna let you go

J- Take the next bus out of town

Then you won’t let your father down.

I don’t know what good I am since I see life in front of us.

P- Well get out of town,

don’t hold me down.

I don’t care.

J- Get out of town,

I don’t know (3x)

I want to leave right now

To get out of town.

P- You know I want to do it all.

I want to go far away, far away,

I want to go far away.

J- No, no, no, no

P- Yeah, I’m going far away.

Yeah, we’re going far away.

We’re gonna leave.

J- We’re going away,

Yeah, we’re going away,

Gonna leave town right now.

This is one of the very first mclennon song, it’s very clear that they sing their desire to escape together: Paul is afraid of what his father might think of it cause he loves John:

 “ I don’t know what I’m gonna do when I tell my father” 

and at 2:39 John replies:

‘And i love you Paul’. 

Like, it’s so clear you don’t even need to investigate much about it, no metaphors, no double-meanings, it’s all SO SIMPLE AND EVIDENT, they’ re singing I LOVE YOU  to each other, that’s it! And the song ends with both John and Paul singing that the only solution is to leave and go away from the town.

This song was never put in any Anthology, even if there’s another song of the same year, You’ll be mine, that has the same shitty audio (the same recording)  but they decided to include it! “I don’t know (Johnny Johnny)” instead was never included, neither edited or cleaned, that’s why some people have doubted its veracity, because very few people have ever listened to it, and it’s considered rare. It’s such a pity they didn’t try to clean it a bit, but, i think WE ALL KNOW WHY. Can’t imagine this song listed in the Anthology, cleaned, a bit edited, and a random 40s old white man listening to it and exclaiming: “Wow! what a friendship!”

Paul McCartney listening to his transistor radio in New York, 9th February 1964

I've been slowly reading Paul McCartney's Lyrics and came up short at the image he doodled in his notebook after the words for one of the last songs the Beatles recorded:

Four hearts linked by the same arrow.

John Lennon recording Jealous Guy for his album Imagine, 1971

Waiting for John to get back so they can carry on recording Think For Yourself. Begins with George Martin explaining a ‘booboo’ he made on the tapes.

George Martin: *explains* George Harrison: Ah, naughty. John? Paul: John love? George Martin: Jonathan, what are you doing? Someone: He’s just - where - is he messing behind the - I’ll get him.

‘(Forgive Me) My Little Flower Princess’ was written during John Lennon’s stay in Bermuda, from June to July 1980, and recorded upon his return to the studio, on 14 August 1980. It wouldn’t be heard by the general public until 23 January 1984, on the posthumous album Milk And Honey.

The lyrics go as follows:

Forgive me, my little flower princess For crushing your delicateness Forgive me, if you could forgive me

Forgive me, my little flower princess For selfishness Forgive me, forgive me

Well, I know there is no way to repay you Whatever it takes I will try to The rest of my life I will thank you Thank you, thank you, my little

If you’ll forgive me, my little flower princess Never too late unless you can’t forgive

Time is on our side Let’s not waste another minute ‘Cause I love you, my little friend I really love you

Give me just one more chance And I’ll show you Take up the dance where we left off The rest of our life is the, my little

I’m home

Overall, the song seems to strike the same apologetic tone previously expressed in ‘Jealous Guy’ (1971) and ‘I Know (I Know)’ (1973).

I didn’t mean to hurt you I’m sorry that I made you cry Oh no, I didn’t want to hurt you I’m just a jealous guy 

— ‘Jealous Guy’ (1971)

I know what’s coming down and I know where it’s coming from and I know and I’m sorry (yes I am) but I never could speak my mind

— ‘I Know (I Know)’ (1973)

“The rest of my life I will thank you” gives a sense of gratitude for the other’s love and presence in his life, further explored in ‘Now And Then’ (1978). 

I know it’s true, it’s all because of you And if I make it through, it’s all because of you And now and then, if we must start again Well we will know for sure, that I love you

— ‘Now And Then’ (1978)

“Take up the dance where we left off” shows hope in a reconciliation that they have “the rest of our life” to experience, as found in ‘(Just Like) Starting Over’ (1980) and ‘Grow Old Along With Me’ (1980).

It’s been too long since we took the time No-one’s to blame, I know time flies so quickly But when I see you darling It’s like we both are falling in love again It’ll be just like starting over, starting over

— ‘(Just Like) Starting Over’ (1980)

Grow old along with me The best is yet to be When our time has come We will be as one God bless our love

— ‘Grow Old Along With Me’ (1980)

Nevertheless, this feeling that “time is on our side”  doesn’t take from the urgency to get together and “not waste another minute”, similarly dealt with in ‘Borrowed Time’ (1980) and ‘(Just Like) Starting Over’ (1980).

Now I am older ah, hah The future is brighter and now is the hour 

— ‘Borrowed Time’ (1980)

It’s time to spread our wings and fly Don’t let another day go by my love

— ‘(Just Like) Starting Over’ (1980)

Regarding the endearments used during the song, we find the classical ‘little friend’, famously used by aunt Mimi in reference to Paul. (It is also worth noting that, tongue-in-cheek or not, in French ‘petit-ami’ means boyfriend). 

Also, the song is called ‘My Little Flower Princess’. It is known that Yoko Ono has reported hearing Paul being called ‘John’s princess’ around Apple.

But it’s John’s thing with flowers as a metaphor for love that fascinates me the most. 

继续阅读

Some quotes from Bob Spitz's The Beatles Biography

“Paul loved working with John. At the beginning it was like sex–they popped them off, one after another.“

"John hooked right in and fed off the energy. John and Paul had remarkably similar tastes [in music]; they liked it fast, hard, and loose."

"It never occurred to Paul just how much he missed John. More than anyone else, John had been his friend for ten years, to say nothing of his collaborator, his sidekick, his shadow. Not only had they played music together, they'd hung out together, dreamed together, fucked together, become famous together. Grown up together."

“The last week in August, Paul McCartney returned to Liverpool, tanned and noticeably slimmer. In addition to starting school, he came back to begin a relationship he seemed destined for: hooking up with John Lennon."

"School proved a nagging obstacle for John and Paul, the occasional stolen afternoons unsatisfying, hardly time enough to get something going before Jim arrived home from work. Weekends were reserved primarily for the band. It wasn't so much that they needed time to write as much as it was each other's company. "Something special was growing between them," says Colin Hanton, "something that went past friendship as we knew it."

"But it was clear once Ivan and Paul got around to John, there was a lot of ‘checking out’ being done”

"But John was enamored of Paul’s prodigious talent, so much that all previous reservations disappeared. Transfixed, John squatted on his haunches, squinting, close enough to study Paul’s elastic hands.”

"John and Paul circled each other like cats. Their interest in each other was deeper and more complex than it appeared to anyone watching the encounter. There was instant recognition, a chemical connection made between two boys who sensed in the other the same heartfelt commitment to this music, the same do-or-die. For all the circling, posturing, and checking out that went on, what it all came down to was love at first sight."