I Vote We Should Be Able To Blaze Other People's Posts. As Features Go, It Would Cause Havoc And Distress

" You...Adopted...6 siblings?"

Diana nods, sunstream smile bright and golden on her lips. She proudly shows off pictures, too.

Three boys playing video games, one of them using his crutches to push the others away. " Freddy and Eugene love bothering Billy."

Another is Diana helping an adorable little cherub of a girl with outfits for her doll's world domination meeting. " Darla has such a rich imagination!"

Then there's her, helping a teenager with what looks to be her book report, as another boy serves them snacks. " Mary is a dedicated leader for her projects. Pedro enjoys cooking!"

" But...6?"

" I wasn't going to split them up! Families are strongest together! Billy wouldn't have accepted otherwise. He's a loyal, exceptional big brother. I couldn't ask for a better son."

Shazam blushes, to their confusion.

" And do they know about... You know. Mega hot Goddess guarding Earth thing, or are you just a regular milf?"

" Hal!"

" You all know what I'm about!"

" Not yet! I figure It'll come out at some point. But I enjoy being a parent. They've been a delight to have around. Parenthood is not the beast I expected."

Bruce laughs. Batman laughs. It's like watching something eerie and unnatural. Barry squints. " Am I...High? Did someone buy that brew that makes me spinny again?"

" You, - you think. This will be EASY."

Diana frowns, tilts her head like a confused puppy. " Well, yes. They've been very pleasant thus far. We haven't even argued, and they follow rules well, - "

Batman full on cackles now. Holding onto Superman's cape for support.

" I think they're very special! I'm sure they'll stay like this for longer than we all expect. They're very mature!"

They have to carry Batman away because he physically can't stand up. Diana doesn't particularly appreciate being laughed at, but the man's face deserves some happiness on it, so she'll take it.

Shazam approaches her after. " So, uh... Did you mean it? About - you know, those kids being..Good kids? Or something?"

" Of course! They're all unique and special in their own way. In fact, I have many examples of it. Billy allowed Darla to put him in a sparkly dress for the premiere of her movie and it is the sweetest act-"

" I got it! I got it," Shazam shuffles his fingers, looking younger than his massive height, asking for something that Diana recognizes but can't name,

" And... Just... You know - they're grateful for you. Even if they're going to be brats, or if they'll be angry and break rules and not listen to you...They appreciate you. A lot. I guess I just don't want you to regret them."

" I could never!" Diana is offended by the mere mention. " Children are people, and people will disappoint, and hurt. But they're so much more. I'll make mistakes, too. Hopefully I'll be mother enough to fix them."

" You are," Shazam tries to smile on his wobbly lips, before coughing around the emotion lumping his neck. " You're a great warrior. So you'll be a great mother."

" What's the difference?"

She doesn't know how Shazam figured out her favorite coffee mix, but she's grateful.

He’s just a little guy in a big body

Black Canary: Hey cap how come all of your villains keep calling you weirdly infantilizing insults?

Green arrow: Yeah that savana guy is so condescending to you, he didn’t act nearly as bad to us and Black Adam calls you brat and baby man.

Captain Marvel: *lying through his ass* oh that? That’s bc sometimes my villains try to depower me to figure out my secret identity because I take a different form when I’m not using my powers. When they actually manage to succeed I have a magic fail safe that at the last second it turns me into a little boy so they don’t actually discover my secret identity. They legitimately think I’m a twelve year old.

Batman, eyes narrowing: Why a twelve year old?

Captain Marvel, bullshiting: It’s the only spell I found that doesn’t turn me into something like a rabbit or mouse. I would rather be a kid than cat food, at least people try to help screaming kids.

Green Arrow: …That’s fucking genius

Wonder Woman, suddenly: I want to see Baby Marvel now

Captain Marvel: *internally* oh no.

the fact that i’ve known i’m ace for years and this has confused me too but i didn’t realize the ‘you’re meant to be looking at the people’ part until just now 🙃🙃

why am i like thisssss

do y'all want a fun little story about me being ace cause you're getting one

okay so for the longest time I did not understand the idea of sexy clothes. like lingerie and short dresses and stuff. did not get it. when I saw photos of clothes that I objectively knew were "supposed" to be sexy I would literally just go like "why is this sexy. this dress has so many holes in it and that bra looks really itchy and I don't understand the draw of any of this. it's just a piece of clothing wdym it's 'sexy'"

and then. I figured out. that YOU'RE MEANT TO BE LOOKING AT THE PERSON WEARING IT 😭 the clothes are not supposed to be inherently sexy but the fact that they show off the person wearing them IS supposed to be and that is something that did not click for me for SO LONG. I spent real actual time and energy trying to figure this out.

so yeah that's like probably one of the most ace things about me 👍

What if Disney made a live action remake of Tangled but instead of Mother Gothel singing Mother Knows Best she sings Mother by Meghan Trainor

hey guys i'm going to the store can u make sure nothing happens to my chocolate milk

Martian Manhunter: Shazam, not to alarm you, but you have not breathed in 10 minutes.

Shazam; Whoops! I forget sometimes.

Martian Manhunter: It’s alright, I often forget to blink.

Batman:

Really obsessed with this idea of some villain taking over the JL because they figured out a way to mind control every single adult and CM is in the lineup, standing at attention when the villain just goes down the line and asks how best to incapacitate them and he makes it to CM and says “Now, what’ll it take to overpower the Big Red Cheese?” and Cap’s like “With all due respect, Mr. Mind Control, sir, you don’t want that.” And the guy’s super offended like “You can’t tell me what to do! How do I incapacitate you?” “You can’t.” “Then why are you acting all snarky?” “Only I can incapacitate myself, Mr. Scary Evil Guy.” “Then do it. Right now.”

And this is pre-reveal so guess what happens? CM shouts the word, and before the guards can even tell what’s going on, Billy’s zipping between their legs, grabs maybe a weapon of some kind while he’s at it, and BOLTS like the funky little street rat is being chased by a cashier with a broom out of the supermarket, and you know YJ is outside waiting so when they suddenly see this scrappy 14yo Billy Batson running from out of the villain’s lair where JL is being held captive, they’re like “wtf??” and Billy has to convince them that he’s actually the massive Champion of Gods dude but he can only do some magic when he’s in his kid form but he knows the whole layout of the place “and we have to hurry! He’s gonna ask what their secret identities are! God you’re all so slow”, and that’s how JL and YJ learn they accidentally inducted a homeless 9yo five years ago who only agreed cuz they have a kitchen in the watchtower.

I don’t know why but I find it immensely funny that the idea of John Constantine working with Billy Batson and/or Danny Fenton. People believing they are HIS sidekicks, when in reality, he is THEIR sidekick.