Shenanigans - Blog Posts
Today in high school,as I was going to my life skills class, I found a headstone of someone at the barrior of the English building and everything else, and so I picked it up and brought it into the bulding.
When I went into my class, everyone was confused about how and why I suddenly brought a tombstone into class, and so the teacher called the office to take it away.
It was supper heavy and now my and hurt like hell.
What’s heavier?
Gryffindor: Got a question for you. What’s heavier? A kilogram of steel? Or a kilogram of feathers?
Time ticks
Gryffindor: That’s right. It’s a kilogram of steel. Because steel is heavier than feathers.
Gryffindor’s Show!
Gryffindor: What do you mean?
Slytherin: They’re both a kilogram.
Gryffindor: But steel is heavier than feathers...
Slytherin: Heh. I know, but they’re both a kilogram.
Gryffindor:...Wha?
Gryffindor’s Show!
A scale holding both a kilogram of feathers and steel stands before gryffindor. The scale is balanced.
Gryffindor: That doesn’t prove anything, because steel is heavier than feathers.
Hufflepuff: I know, but look. They’re both a kilogram. Right? So they’re the same.
Gryffindor: Ok, but look at the size of this. *points to the huge bag of feathers* That’s cheating!
Slytherin: *laughs* No, they’re the same weight!
Hufflepuff: *also laughing* it’s a kilogram!
Gryffindor: But steels heavier than feathers...
Gryffindor’s Show!
Ravenclaw examining the scale.
Ravenclaw: They’re both a kilogram.
Gryffindor: Oh no...oh, no, you, ah...no...
Hufflepuff: You alright?
Gryffindor: *sadly* I don’t get it.
Slytherin: Sorry...
Ravenclaw: Yeah...Don’t worry about it!
House Shenanigans
*Gryffindor sitting on the opposite side of the desk from Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff*
Ravenclaw: *reading Gryffindor’s resume* Says here you’re proficient at fighting ghost?
Gryffindor: *feet kicked up. Arms behind head* Yeah.
Slytherin: *looking over Ravenclaw’s shoulder* But...*looking up* This place isn’t haunted.
Gryffindor: *finger guns* You’re welcome.
Ravenclaw and Slytherin: *looks directly at the camera like Ben from Parks and rec*
Hufflepuff: Holy shit!
Don't we all love some chaotic siblings shenanigans at the gala?
Ah! The annual Wayne gala...
Every year, Bruce Wayne attempts to throw a normal gala.
You, know. The kind every other billionaire throws.
But somehow
Somehow
Something weird happens.
Whether Damian lets Batcow into the ballroom, or Steph sets off the sprinkler system, or (God forbid) Jason mixes laxatives into the cake; something always goes wrong.
And. It. Is. Always. His. Kids'. Fault.
It's become a running joke in the media!
"The Wayne Kids at it again!!! Read their latest gala antics below!"
Bruce just wants to jump into that bottomless pit in the Batcave...
Why WHY are his... lovely children like this? Can't they just give him some peace.
Of course not, Dick is sitting on the chandelier and everyone is staring.
Dick waves at him.
He can only stare blankly until Tim comes over and hands him a cup of coffee, Tim holding one himself.
Not really a typical gala drink, but he deserves it. Takes a big drink and almost spits it out. He give Tim and incredulous look.
The coffee is spiked.
He can't tell if it has monster, whisky, or a fucking 5 hour energy in it though.
Tim just shrugs and takes the cup back.
"More for me"
Cass walks over and gives him a pity pat on the shoulder.
God help him.
He loves these kids.
But God help him...
I have a fic i make that i wanna share with you:D
So, I wrote this fanfic here, it's a classic one of those where the League has no brain and has never met Bruce's children or even knows his identity, everyone thinks he's some kind of cryptid, and being the way he is, the bat never confirmed but also never denied the allegations, and then he bitterly regrets it when this leads everyone to believe that Nightwing is his husband, and the Batkids have a great time with this unique opportunity, later on I also intend to add Young Justice and the Titans to the pranks. I hope you like it!
Here is! But just to you know, the updates may be not coherents.
And this also makes part of a series named "Wrong dynamics" where i wrote those fics to traine and etc.
So, I'm in Las Vegas and we're going around getting boys numbers for prank calls. They ask me if I like any of the boys there and I got the amazing chance to say, "I have a girlfriend."
One girl fell to the ground laughing.
5 were in shock.
One ran to the other side of the arcade.
And 2 told me congratulations.
I love my girlfriend, she's my everything. I've known her for 9 years and she's my world.
Okay, but what if Danny, in an effort to be less of a liar and more of a cheater, learned sleight of hand and magic and lock picking?
What if, as he gets older and the need to explain how he got in somewhere, or how he got something, or how he got out of something gets to be so abysmally frequent that he just decides: fuck it. I’m gonna be that guy. You know, that guy that just Knows Weird Shit. That guy that just Does Things because he’s a little feral.
Instead of risking his identity and/or getting shot at as Phantom he just...becomes the delinquent that breaks into random places just to see if he could. Just ‘cause he’s bored. If they coincide with Phantom’s activities? Well. Phantom’s a cool guy. Maybe he’s got taste.
He’ll break out some card tricks, do a little invisibility, make a little telekinesis happen--just cool little party tricks in the middle of the day. Break into locked closets just to ditch class purely because “fiddling with his magic tricks is better than class” (and totally not because he’s out there fighting ghosts, no sirree).
Practices incessantly during lunch hours. Starts trying to break out of handcuffs in math class. A little bit of a routine with escape artist tricks applied liberally to get out of English class. Tries to see if a teacher can catch him in the act. (They never can, and it only takes a couple months for it to be purely on his skill, and not with a little help from his powers).
Loudly proclaims he’s trying to hunt Phantom, but not to “rip him apart,” just to hang because Danny thinks he’s really neat.
Imagine that being Danny’s best fucking cover, cause at this point, whose gonna question why Danny is standing right where Phantom just disappeared to? Danny probably broke in just to stalk the poor ghost. Jesus. He’s been in weirder places for weirder reasons. He once pulled a rabbit out of some kid’s ear. His reason?
“I just thought the coin trick was so dull. Plus, you know, bunny ears? ...No? Too much of a stretch? Yeah I thought so too. Oh, well. Back to the drawing board I guess.”
Isn’t this basically how all fanfiction plotting turns out? XD
14 chapters (???) of chaotic worldbuilding/plotting later, and my brain has decided I want to fit intergalactic space travel into this damn kinda-a-prison-au fic. Where? I'm not sure. Will I fit it in? Damn right I will, as a treat.
Freddy Freeman is the type of guy ask Billy to hold his crutch, pretend to fall over, then scream “HE STOLE MY CRUTCH!!!!” in public.
Love fics where Batman’s identity is revealed as Bruce Wayne and the JL is just not connecting the dots.
But I need a fic specifically where the JL is in a situation where they have to lay low in a safe house or whatever for a few days while they figure out their next move and Bruce just takes off his cowl without explanation and somebody looks up to see BRUCE WAYNE in their secret hideout.
The entire JL: *tired from fighting and crashing in the nearest safe house to hide out in for the next few days while they figure out their next move*
Batman, putting a lot of thought into it: ‘well I don’t want to have to wear all my body armour and my cowl for the next few days, and I trust these people with my life, so I think I can safely take my mask off and reveal my identity’
Batman, without a word even though he should probably say a whole speech and explain why: *takes his cowl off and silently continues with his work in the corner of the room*
The ENTIRE JL: *doesn’t notice*
Someone, probably Hal Jordan: *looks up to see BRUCIE fucking WAYNE sitting in the shadows of their top secret hideout*
Hal:
Hal: WHAT THE FUCK
The JL: *freaking out because why is a civilian billionaire in the secret safe house and how did he get in without the worlds strongest and smartest heroes knowing?*
Also the JL: WHERE THE HELL IS BATMAN????
Bruce: *politely sitting in the corner, still working while he waits for someone to ask him a question instead of incoherently screaming at each other about him*
bros before hoes.
what else can i say?
Brain: what if-
Me: No Don't I Already Have Too Many WIPs!
Brain: Kon/Danny with Danny being an accidental sugar daddy except its mostly just letting Kon crash on his couch, feeding him and giving him cool things that Danny built.
Me:....Fuck
Regular D&D sesh
bird whistle
sibling:(using bird whistle filled with water) what happens if I use the other end?
Bird whistle: shoots out water from whistle part.
Bonus: sibling does this again in the mirror so they can make a drawing of this experience
Bonus bonus (prequel): in my head: bird whistle sounds like a sci-fi gun firing at me. Imma pretend to dodge
@doritoplayz-xi is sibling
Danny, whose been dealing with this for about a month now and is just annoyed: *Tiredly groans* Why, must you torment me this way.
Jazz, definitely the one who opened the door: *Wiping tears from her eyes*
The batclan: *Le confusion*
Danny has been declared the Ghost King at Fifteen. He hasn't been told this yet, but his self-proclaimed closest ghost friends, Johnny 13, Ember, and Kitty, have volunteered to not only tell him, but be his bodyguards.
They do not, in fact, tell him.
They instead make it a game of "Get down, Mr. President!" and dogpile him from perceived threats. Threats like the toaster. Or Dash Baxter. Or Mr. Lancer. A stray cat that walked out of an alley. A fight with Skulker.
A bird.
The worst bit is, even the GIW and his parents have stopped attacking those specific ghosts, because it's far more interesting that beings that mimic human behavior have picked up a childs game to mimic.
So he'll be home, at the kitchen, and with an almighty cry of "GET DOWN MR. PRESIDENT" one of the three ghosts will launch themselves over him dramatically.
There is not escape.
The security system in his house has been programmed to ignore them.
His parents love the opportunity to talk to a ghost, and are starting to go back on their "all ghosts are evil" thing.
you are amazing
there is truly nothing like mcrp with people you have never met irl and probably never will to make you say the wildest shit
^-^
are you excited for tomorrow?
yes i am!!! i am nervous but intrigued... and also am noticing the fact that the name of the event is the freezing temps for C and F sooo something with the cryochambers which is. EXTRA concerning
SOUP
Blake: What is this?
Yang: Soup. Ruby and Jaune made for me.
Blake: It smells good. Can i taste it?
Yang: I would not.
Blake: Come on, it cant be that bad.
Yang: Its not bad, its delicious. *She takes a spoon* Its just too...
*Blake put her mouth on the spoon, drinking it. Suddenly...*
Blake: AAAAHHHHHH *Spitting fire*
Yang: ...Too Spicy.
Blake: I NEED MILK!!!!!!!
Jaune: *Watching with Ruby in the Kitchen* I told you we shouldnt put that much Hot sauce.
Ruby: But Yang loves it hot!
Blake: AND I DO NOT!!!!!!!
My OC is a lot like Joyce Byers in that her child is missing and we should all be very concerned for her mental health.
Secret Boss 5....Right?
Another common trope for fan made Deltarune Secret Bosses is a corrupted Ice-E boss so here's Sl-Ice-E
An old animatronic for Ice-E pizza who use to serve pizza and smiles until a strange (kinda purplish black) man (strange guy really) approached and tampered with him
And he acted out and ate a child and got cancelled
He now what's be free of this alter ego
I saw this cool theory about Jevil representing ADHD and Spamton representing Autism so he represents DID having a disturbing alter ego inside his code
He uses pizza cutter blades as weapons and roller skates with pizza cutter wheels
He randomly adds hyphens into sentences because it's kinda funny yo
If you haven't gathered he's very FNAF but slightly colder
Lance looks through the binoculars again and finds Keith at the same time Adam calls Keith’s name and points at where Lance is standing. The other boy glances up, caught between a laugh from watching Pidge and Hunk write a lewd message in the sand. He flips him off and Lance’s hand-painted skull grins back at him. Keith’s cheeks are pink from the chill, his eyes bright and mischievous as the wind catches on the edges of his hair.
Lance mechanically waves back as he pulls away from the binoculars, Keith becoming a tiny figure against the sand as a blush begins to stain Lance’s cheeks. He hikes the collar of his jacket up, glancing furtively back at Shiro and then down at the shore below.
Oh.
Fuck.
——————————————————————————————
this was an excerpt from chapter 10 of my fic! here's some more info if ur interested:
title: looking out for you
platform: ao3 only
rating: t
genre(s): slice of life college au
ships: Keith Kogane/Lance McClain, Adam/Shiro
words/chapters: 187k/18 chapters
status: completed
summary/elevator pitch: wholesome queer vibes and healthy communication a la voltron. found family shenanigans include: paintball, halloween parties, laundromat trips, beach episode, family dinners, video game tournaments, awkward confessions, grocery shopping, and some good old angst and character development. also, lance may or may not get possessed by a ghost but it's not pidge's fault.
i was reminiscing on this fic and decided to just promo it bc why not? drop me a comment/kudos if u check it out and like it!
for anyone who has already read it or is planning on reading it, i've done faqs between the three acts. i recently updated my faq here for act iii if anyone is interested (i finally got around to putting in some more details!)
You made the Character, your turn to deal with the simps here, I could care less becuase fun more important lmao
I am sure half your fans want that- I starting to think your might be one too-
Rather big simp.
-anon
*sigh*
Why am I the one getting targeted by you anyway?????
All I think about Riley is that she has an interesting design that's it!!!
Meanwhile people like.... Idk @phantom-of-the-ruckus or @echoentities are the real simps here!!!! Target them.
One of your classmates and friends are having a gossip about which possible animal you would be if your one or turn into.
Classmate: "I'm telling you! Their a cat!"
Friend: "Nope! Their definitely a dog!"
You who is actually behind them listening then finally let out a hiss at them:
"I'm a fucking human."
i've just decided you're all wrong and the actual funniest scenario of the league not knowing bruce has kids until they take his place as batman during league meetings is the scenario where bruce never even asked them to pretend to be batman.
when he can't make an important meeting he sends either jason or dick in his place just as themselves, because if he can vouch for them as proxys then why would the league have an issue with it? they just need to show up and say they're there to take notes for batman or something, there's no need to lie. he doesn't even realise that his identity is being stolen until he shows up after a meeting he sent a sub in for and when he shows up everyone is staring at him awkwardly.
batman: what's everybody looking at
green lantern: nothing! we're just... concerned.
flash: yeah... how was your surgery?
batman:
batman: what surgery
green lantern: ...well you ran out of the meeting last week yelling about how you were going to be late for your 'piles removal operation'
green lantern: so uh. how'd it go big guy?
batman:
batman: i wasn't here last week. jason was.
the league:
flash: who the fucks jason
batman:
batman: *slowly turns to superman, who is staring at the table stubbornly*
batman: clark-
superman: THE KIDS SEEMED SO EXCITED TO DRESS UP, I DIDN'T WANT TO BE THE BORING UNCLE AND SAY NO!
bruce ends up calling jason in front of the league to demand an explanation and clear his name. jason straight up doesn't even remember what he did.
jason, on call: oh hey B, thought you were at a JL meeting this afternoon?
bruce: i am. what happened last week?
jason: i sent tim the report to hand over already! i didn't get all of it though, i had to leave real quick towards the end because damian was threatening to set my safe house on fire if i didn't pick him up from school
bruce: and the league let you go early?
jason: yeah i made some excuse, i think i said-
jason: *pauses, remembering what he'd done*
jason: oh my god
bruce lays his head on the table while jason laughs through the loud speaker for the next eight minutes.
who is this obese, overweight, two hundred pound cat and why is it in my ask box.