I Consumed You The Way I Consume Media, I Dont Know If I Loved You Enough For The Cannibalism Metaphor

Franz Kafka, 1912

ataraxia is serene and blissful but tell me why i exist in a calmness that discomforts me

god how i crave whatever the hell franz kafka had going on with melina

me when red rising fanart

I’m on book two of the red rising series. This is what Darrow looks like in my head.

I know he doesn’t look anything like the official art. I don’t care.

Also I don’t surf the Red Rising tags on here because too many spoilers :,) I will once I finish the books.

i trace your scars, like stretch marks, like scratches

the very things you are insecure about i love, despite your doubt

and if love is an action id commit it like a crime to keep you

i trace your face like an outline, acting as if i wont forget it

i trace your sides like an act of desperation, acting as if i want more than what you give me

i trace your hands, and give you my right when it aches, knowing you prefer to hold that one

its horrible when a person dies but its even worse when their art dies

and i fall in love with people who never fucking existed

he stares at me like im adored and i know his eyes arent even for meeting my own, i should not look at him like he can be mine, and i should not already be his

i suffer from addictions, it seems when something fascinates me it's all i can think about or do. i take too much pleasure in playing chess, and get too upset when i lose. i take too much time into my instruments, and lose myself in them in the ways i should not. and also as simple as coffee, i cannot go a day without a cup.

i suppose i am at least glad you fascinate me, and you allow me to let me be addicted. but god am i terrified for the withdrawals because i treat you like a drug.

im a fascinated misanthropist, i treat everyone like a little science experiement

a walk at night, and i was looking up with her

and she said "the moon is so pretty tonight"

and i agreed and said they must be related

and i forgot most of what happened after that