rachs-fish

Latest Posts by rachs-fish

the treasures of my life i prioritize as a pupil of a dead party god or dionysus, id love to live in nothing but sex, wine, parties, getting high, falling in love, writing nonsense stories and telling lies, fight for my own right for enjoyment, lose my mind and maybe find it tomorrow

i live in silence as a pupil of a living solitude god if theres even one at all

its horrible when a person dies but its even worse when their art dies

and i fall in love with people who never fucking existed

what the fuck bro

had contractors come by and forgot i was wearing this shirt

a walk at night, and i was looking up with her

and she said "the moon is so pretty tonight"

and i agreed and said they must be related

and i forgot most of what happened after that

I need to be so close to her I can't feel her but am her. We merge like greek mythology referencing soulmates, my hands trace up her neck to the back of her head and I hold her chin like she belongs to me. We kiss. I no longer think and no longer am.

im a fascinated misanthropist, i treat everyone like a little science experiement

i still bite my lips when i am stressed, and no habit of mine has ever died. i pick it up and i carry it around, another weight that weighs nothing on how i live only how im seen. my nails are always short and i still havent found my nail clippers, why cant i stop-not a question.

i still get excited when i hear my phone knowing its not you

:(

i fell between the intercrosses of our fingers weaving as our palms closed together and lost myself wherever that has gone, so please dont let go of me

the taste of her mouth lit me up like a flame, and as her hands shook in excitement and not unwelcomeness i succumb to her hands guiding my own to her face

the words i wrote about you makes the thoughts i wished with you seem shameful

i consumed you the way i consume media, i dont know if i loved you enough for the cannibalism metaphor

me when red rising fanart

I’m on book two of the red rising series. This is what Darrow looks like in my head.

I know he doesn’t look anything like the official art. I don’t care.

Also I don’t surf the Red Rising tags on here because too many spoilers :,) I will once I finish the books.

i suffer from addictions, it seems when something fascinates me it's all i can think about or do. i take too much pleasure in playing chess, and get too upset when i lose. i take too much time into my instruments, and lose myself in them in the ways i should not. and also as simple as coffee, i cannot go a day without a cup.

i suppose i am at least glad you fascinate me, and you allow me to let me be addicted. but god am i terrified for the withdrawals because i treat you like a drug.

ultimately where humanity fails is where man succumbs to greed more than he does to love

-journal entry from Nov. 3rd, 2024

Nikolay Punin, from a diary entry featured in The Diaries of Nikolay Punin: 1904 - 1953

he stares at me like im adored and i know his eyes arent even for meeting my own, i should not look at him like he can be mine, and i should not already be his

Franz Kafka, 1912

i trace your scars, like stretch marks, like scratches

the very things you are insecure about i love, despite your doubt

and if love is an action id commit it like a crime to keep you

i trace your face like an outline, acting as if i wont forget it

i trace your sides like an act of desperation, acting as if i want more than what you give me

i trace your hands, and give you my right when it aches, knowing you prefer to hold that one

god how i crave whatever the hell franz kafka had going on with melina

ataraxia is serene and blissful but tell me why i exist in a calmness that discomforts me

hi im new to tumblr and just wanted a place to dump poem drafts and who knows some people may like them.

Name's Fish, I go by any pronouns, I play piano and piano accordion, I like reading and chess and writing silly little love (or just) poems. Thanks:)