Hey, Did You Know That The World Is A Better Place Because Of Your Creations And Art And Writing, No

I wish Mythbusters was still around so we could see them fuck up a Cybertruck

🔥 💪

Not a gaming post; I just love H. neanderthalensis more than anything. I’d like to think there was a functional purpose for their occipital bun such as supporting their thick shoulder and neck muscles for spear and atlatl throwing. But what do I know?

The thing is that the portrayal of Neanderthals as having been inherently grotesque and alien to H. sapiens is something we will never have proof of. But we do have proof that, in different locations and in different populations across time, we all found eachother desirable. We saw eachother and wanted to touch. And the offspring were held by their mothers and raised and had their own offspring in turn.

When you look for the first proof that H. sapiens found Neanderthals repulsive, you have to wait until the Victorian era, when the white masters of empires were busy portraying Neanderthals as stupid, brutish, and (of course) dark-skinned.

In more modern times, we’ve had people arguing that instead of seeing Neanderthals as Benighted Savages, they should instead be seen as Noble Savages, (allegedly) cruelly destroyed and driven from their lands by H. sapiens. Which one of their two you believe says more about your modern political views than it does about ancient H. sapiens.

And, whether we construct Neanderthals as Savage or Noble Savage, the fundamental assumption we project into the unfathomably distant past is still that H. sapiens saw Neanderthals as an Other, with the language we use being almost explicitly that of modern racial dynamics.

But we have no proof of any of that. We have no proof of hostilities. We know we co-existed and we had sex. That’s it.

Humans obviously have sex with some humans and kill others. We also know that, when small groups of humans occupy vast spaces with infrequent contact with others, unique cultures will always form, some more hospitable, some more neophobic/xenophobic. But many cultures of small settlements placed among huge unpeopled landscapes place supreme emphasis on hospitality to strangers. Plus, we fucking love other social animals, as evidenced by how we befriended wolves.

I’m a humourless weirdo and a wet blanket about popular constructions of Neanderthals as “monstrous”, and I freely admit it. But that’s because it’s tied up in legacies of imperialism. Not only that, but it also privileges one culture (yours, mine, modernity’s) as being most human by implicitly assuming we can project it onto people in the past. Since you don’t pretend that all global cultures share exact same values as you do, it doesn’t take more than a few moments’ reflection to realise you can’t do that to the past.

Yes, please, to each other and then me!

can i kill myself for a second

The wife and I went to a hockey game last night. I present to you my unsolicited BG3 hockey thoughts:

Gale - would be the announcer (and we all know why)

Lae’zel - she wouldn’t understand the game, but she would love the fighting (she’d probably shank someone with a broken hockey stick)

Karlach - she would understand the game and the fighting would be a toss up; she wouldn’t start a fight, but she’d defend her teammates; I’d probably make her a goalie (after her heart gets fixed so she can’t melt the ice, obvs)

Halsin - would understand the game, but is too gentle for fighting; he might be backup goalie

Minsc - does not understand the game, would love the fighting, really just wants a hotdog

Astarion - couldn’t care less, just wants good wine, would be too afraid to break a nail (I will not be apologizing for that statement)

Minthara - would understand the game, would love the fighting, would try to poison the other team

Shadowheart - would sort of understand the game, but would miss every single goal

Wyll - understands the game, but would just want to skate because it’s like dancing (also not apologizing)

Oathbreaker Paladin - would understand the game and would be amazing at it, would probably fight especially if it meant someone was breaking an oath

Dame Aylin - was there when the game was invented and played in the first ever league, she single-handedly started hockey fights

Nine-Fingers Keene - would understand the game, would probably fix the game where she would come out on top regardless of the winner, would also enjoy fighting and would shank someone with a broken hockey stick (no probables there)

Rion - she’s got some anger issues and I think would understand the game and would also love to kick some ass

Zevlor - would understand the game, would love the fighting, would probably be quite good

Orin - would understand the game, would love the fighting and would also shank someone with a broken hockey stick (although she might stab her own teammates, which is problematic)

Jaheira - would be the team mom and alternate between cheering on the fighting and being upset about the fighting

Ketheric Thorm - would be the team dad and would love the fighting

Isobel Thorm - just there to watch Aylin, but knows everything about the game because of Aylin

Gortash - too busy trying to become the hockey commissioner to care about the game or the players

Volo - thinks he’s the announcer, but really there to entertain children with his nonsense

Withers - referee

Scratch and the Owlbear - mascots

(Obligatory fight pic from last night’s game)

Blep!

Sappho, If Not Winter: Fragments of Sappho (tr. by Anne Carson)

hope everyone has fun tomorrow!