Mal Du Awesome

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You wrote about murder?? Murder is illegal?? You wrote about this dude killing someone and you didn’t even say ‘murder is bad’ at the start of the book, wht wtf, wtf is wrong with you? I can’t believe you condone murder, I can’t believe you’re pro murber, oh my fucking God don'ttalk to me when ou literally kill people, freak. I’m calling the cops, what the fuck, I’m shaking and crying.

* I heard monsters are scary.

* I'm scary too, so I think I'll fit in.

can i have a treat... the most i really have in mind is something about post-pacifist flowey/flowey having a good time cause i want to see my funny little dingus happy

your wish is my command.

A solitary leaf drifted lazily off a tree. Flowey watched through the murky windowpane as it reached its destination, joining its brethren in cushioning the falls of pedestrian feet. 

“Really pretty, huh?”

Flowey turned his gaze from the window to see Frisk sauntering over and saddling up to star. “Bet you didn’t have them this pretty in the Underground.”

Flowey didn’t answer their statement, instead electing to return stars gaze to the window. Frisk either didn’t get the memo or simply didn’t care, as they continued standing next to Flowey, bouncing on the balls of their feet, awaiting a response. After a long moment, Flowey whispered a sigh and, without turning his head, spoke back to Frisk bluntly.

“I don’t see anything pretty about them. They’re dying husks of things that used to be living, all shriveled up and DEAD. All they’re doing is putting on a good show before their eventual demise.”

Frisk was silent for a while and Flowey gave them a glance to see that they’d covered up their mouth with their hand. Surely Flowey hadn’t shocked them THAT much, had he? They knew that star was a soulless husk, of course he wouldn’t find dumb leaves PRETTY! 

Frisk made a weird noise with their mouth and Flowey realized they were covering up a snicker. “I never knew you were a leaf nihilist, Flowey.”

Flowey stared at them, trying to figure out what blatantly incorrect assumption was most worthy of counteracting. “I’m not—leaf nihilist isn’t even a real—it’s TRUE, isn’t it? Sure, the leaves LOOK pretty. But that’s just a cover-up. A way of hiding that they’re dying on the inside!”

“Are we still talking about leaves?”

“YES!”

“If you say so.”

Frisk stared at Flowey for a moment, trying to read his thoughts. “That’s not what the leaves make me think of. You know, leaves aren’t ‘alive’ alive. They’re part of the tree.”

“So? The tree is dying, then. It’s losing parts of itself until it rots away completely!”

“The tree.”

“YES, the tree!”

“Alright. But I don’t think the leaves are part of it. They’re like… fingernails, or something.”

“Fingernails.”

“Well, that sounds kinda gross… it’s like… I dunno, like how dogs shed their fur, right? And they’re still the same, living dog underneath. They just get a new coat! And just because their outsides are different doesn’t mean the tree isn’t the same on the inside!”

Flowey contemplated this for a moment. Star didn’t… hate that idea. He looked back down towards the trampled leaves, red and golden in the light of the drowsy sun.

“But, y’know, you could try not making everything about death and gloom and stuff. The leaves can just be leaves. Pretty leaves. You have to admit they’re pretty.”

Flowey was silent.

Frisk gently placed their hand beneath Flowey’s face and shifted it upwards so his gaze rested on the trees.

“Especially the ones not on the ground.”

Sunlight beamed through the branches, lighting the trees aflame with color and vibrance. Flowey let out a sigh despite himself as somewhere deep within him a singular knot unraveled. 

Frisk was right, star admitted. This was so much better than the leaves underground. To say the least.

Flowey grudgingly tore his head away from the sight and looked at Frisk, aggravated to see that they were covering their mouth again. “What?” The question came out less aggressive than he’d intended.

“Nothing. You just looked so starstruck. You REALLY need to get out more. And maybe look up more. Though I see how that could be a problem, considering.” They moved their hands a foot apart and grinned.

“What’s that even supposed to—HEY!”

Frisk giggled. Flowey adamantly fought any desire to join in. He was not about to injure his pride in such a manner. Flowey took a deep breath. No need to acknowledge what they’d said, that would only encourage them, it would only—

A little ways away from star, Flowey heard Frisk whisper a single word. “Shortie.”

Flowey launched himself off the windowsill. “YOU WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU LITTLE—”

They found themselves breathless on the floor, Flowey claiming it was from rage and knowing it was from laughter.

bestie

give him all of your candy. NOW

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

The remorseful player

okay but imagine being a student of Saiki Kusuo's class. how fuckin weird would it be?

there's this guy, Saiki, that you don't know very well, but seems to be completely average in EVERY way. like, concerning average. you genuinely know nothing that he likes or dislikes or is particularly good or bad at. the only thing that sticks out about him is his weird hair clips and his tinted glasses. oh, and all the people that surround him

the weird, big, loud guy that no one really likes is his best friend. he basically follows Saiki around. one time Saiki made a completely to scale statue of him for a class fair.

the kid with a hero complex that is constantly going on about some shadow organisation and fantasy world is also his friend. the one that rips all of his clothes and always wears bright red bandages over his arms. he also follows Saiki around like they've been best friends since childhood. sometimes he talks about the both of them being soldiers in some army.

one day a psychic medium who can see ghosts and guardian spirits transfers to your school. the next day you see him hanging off of Saiki. what is it about this guy that attracts all these people? he doesn't even seem to talk to them. he's apparently the vice president of the medium's occult club.

the perfect dream girl of your class that everyone loves is weirdly obsessed with him. constantly trying to pair up with him in class. they've been seen on multiple dates together and members of the kokomins seem hate him. you're pretty sure they tried to kidnap him one time. he doesn't even seem to like the girl.

the over-enthusiastic class president that everyone respects is also his friend. you're pretty sure Saiki doesn't play any sports, but apparently he joined him on a tennis camp over the holidays. you heard that he hit a tennis ball so hard he sunk a boat.

an ex-delinquent joins the school, and immediately tried to be friends with Saiki. within a week he has joined the large group that follows Saiki around. one of your friends apparently saw the two of them taking motorcycle lessons.

the poor girl in class, the one with a dozen jobs who's constantly searching for food? yeah, she's friends with him too. one time you walk past a cafe she works at and see him inside, talking to the owner. what does he have to do with the cafe? and why was she wearing a maid dress? there's rumours in the school that the both of them took shady clinical trials over the holidays.

also, the girl who has a new crush every week gets weirdly into him for a while. you see her try a bunch of classic cliches to try to win him over. none of it works, but she still hangs around him for some reason.

a super rich guy shows up to your school and demands to date the beloved perfect girl. no idea why, but Saiki seems to some part to play in the weird love triangle. later on, you see Saiki and his friends visit the rich guys house.

a fortune telling gyaru joins your school, insisting that Saiki is her soulmate. the two are polar opposites, yet seem attached at the hip, along with that spiritual medium for some reason.

another new transfer (why does your school get so many transfers?) who never seems to shut up insists on following Saiki around. apparently they're childhood friends? they don't seem very friendly.

that famous actor, the one who is in everything on tv? you see him yelling at Saiki one day. something about a sister? you don't have any idea how they even crossed paths in the first place

on a random school day you overhear some of Saiki's friends talking about their trip to Britain together. did they really travel that far for just a weekend?

one day you see Saiki walking around with a young man with a weird headband. he looks familiar somehow. you could've sworn you've seen him on some science program or something.

you've seen Saiki walking around plenty of times. he walks everywhere it seems, and gets to places at a pace that is logically impossible. doesn't he have a motorcycle license?

his parents seemed perfectly ordinary when you met them, if a little too lovey-dovey. how is their son so different?

the dude never seems to change his clothes. obviously he does, seeing how they never get dirty or damaged. you guess he just wears the same thing on repeat.

you see him out and about with a little boy. probably babysitting. the kid keeps calling him by the name of some superhero.

the school brings in a magician one day. he greets Saiki like an old friend and calls him 'master'. you had no idea they knew each other, or that Saiki liked magic.

you've only known of this guy for a year, yet it seems like so much longer. it feels like too much has happened for the school year to have not ended yet. when did all those people transfer again?

feel free to add to the idea!