I Made This As Fast As I Could

No we fucking don't

me, at a fancy restaurant: i would like to eat here

receptionist: im sorry you can’t eat here without a reservation

me: *pulls this out of my pocket*

receptionist: *starts sweating* i am so sorry….let me show you to a table

BOI

fishwife doodle that will likely never be finished commission info

Nice to know

I-.....is this even allowed?!????!??

hmmm

Yas

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

How dare you.

Full and finished short-story of the black cat. Please have a heart for black pets in general, animals do not deserve this kind of hostility. Please give credit when reposting, Thank you :)